Binging and Other Head Trips

I read, with interest, the recent thread on binging.  I was thinking about this on my drive home from work.  What is WRONG with us????  I mean, really, we are a scary group.   We are so full of anxiety over food, it rules our lives!  I, for one, am so obsessed that I went to a foreign country, to a surgeon unknown to me, and paid the man a big chunk of change to have my body mutilated!  I'm not saying Dr. A mutilated me, he actually did an excellent job.  But having 85% of your stomach removed when it's not diseased, well, that's self mutilation isn't it?  Am I that full of self loathing?  Apparently I am.  And now, even after I am at, even a bit under my goal, I keep thinking it's not enough.  What's up with that?  I obsess about food all the time.  I measure it, weigh it, count it, plan it, savor it, and once in a while, actually eat it.  If I hit say 1200 calories in a day, OMG!!!!   The world is ending!!!!  When do we get to be at peace with our bodies?  I know I'm rambling, sorry.  And yes, I binged today too.  Nothing terrible, but maybe 400 calories I hadn't planned on.  Why do we live like this?  I have gained/lost 100's of lbs. over the years, this is my last hoorah, so to speak.  I don't want to gain it back, but I sure hope that someday, my life is more then worrying about calories!   Just blowing off some steam.
Love you all!
Marie

Honestly for MANY of us peace with food will come at our DEATH when there is peace with everything.

NOW as for ME personally I don't think of having my stomach removed as self loathing or mutilation at all.  While I'm not a wild animal trapped in a trap who knaws off my limb for SURVIVAL the bottom line for ME is I HAD to remove my stomach in order to LIVE a HEALTHY life.

I'm no more obsessed with food NOW then I was BEFORE surgery.  The only difference now is that my stomach doesn't betray me as MUCH as before in allowing me to HARM myself.

I hope you find the peace you seek but as for me I'd rather be obesessing about food and at the weight I am then obsessing about food OVERWEIGHT and DYING from other comorbilities.

Ms Shell

You are, of course, right.  I'm just having a hissy fit.  I would do it again and again if I had to.  I'd just like to be one of those naturally thin people!

What's going on Marie that your upset?  I saw your I'm out post on the No Weigh challenge.  Is everything ok?

I don't know, Just a random rant.  Maybe I should delete?  I said I'm out on the no weigh in challange 'cause I weighed myself!  I felt like Kramer in that Seinfeld episode.  If you saw it, you know what I mean.  Anyway, nothing serious, just angry with me sometimes....I ate ice cream today, nuff said!

Don't you dare delete is...we NEED these moments it's part of the process and YES I so did see that episode =)

Honestly for MANY of us peace with food will come at our DEATH when there is peace with everything.

Maybe this is why the LORD invites us to the Dinner Feast of the Lamb, it's the only time we can eat without remorse

Marie - I totally "get" what you mean.  I think obesity will always be a part of us - whether or not we gain wait or successfully maintain.

Maybe we should have some kind of slogan.  You know how people who had cancer are Cancer Survivors?  Maybe we should be Obesity Survivors.  Maybe we could get cool t-shirts with OS on them?  or to be more fun "I survived the BIG-O".  That might get people's attention! 

But all kidding aside, I really do know what you mean!

I LOVE that idea!  We need recognition!  A nice ribbon too!

We all have some sort of food addiction which is why we got here in the first place. I do the same thing still I am always thinking about food, I am afraid of food, I want food, there is no peace as we have a food addiction and it manifests in all different ways, so yes we have a tool to help us control our eating but as we all know it doesn't fix our addiction we just have to learn to accept it and live with it. It sucks that we will most likely never be normal when it comes to food but I would rather be in control of it (somewhat) than keep stuffing myself and gaining, so I say keep on weighing and counting because it works and it keeps us focused and somewhat in control of our addiction.
I am not the best at writing my thoughts so if I make no sense sorry and if you can understand what I am trying to say I hope I have helped you toward a bit of acceptance.. Take care my OH friends..