If you are struggling, stalled, or discouraged, read this

OK, take a deep breath, hold my hand, and here we go.....

First, we have all been there over and over and over again.  This is not the last time you are going to find yourself here therefore how we learn to deal with this really determines our success or failure long term.  No pressure right.  Second, this can be dealt with.  Really, it is going to be alright in the end.  I promise.  Take another deep breath.  OK, back to basics.
 NUMBER ONE RULE: MAKE A PLAN

I am not kidding, stop reading right now, and get a paper and pencil or open another screen or whatever you need to do to take notes.  You are going to make a plan, just for you, and you are going to stick with it until....

Your plan is going to include the number or calories you are going to eat everyday, the protein count, the carb count, the water amount.  You are going to write down just how you are planning to keep yourself accountable, is it going to be written in a brand new shiny notebook, a website, some other way.  Make a choice right now.  Ask yourself about the number of times you are going to eat every day.  Are you going to eat three times a day and no snacks?  Or are you going to allow yourself two snacks and three meals?  How many meals and when will you eat them?  Are you going to have a schedule or are you using some other way to plan them out?  How are you going to measure your food?  Are you using small bowls that only hold about one cup to eat from? Are you using a scale, a measuring cup or what?  Which threads are you going to be accountable on?  The maintenance weight one from Cindy? or Ms. Shell's or what?  I want details.  How are you going to get your water in?  Do you use a particular bottle that you know the measurement of and you need a particular number of them a day to meet your goal?  Do you see where I am going here.  I WANT A DETAILED PLAN in writing and with accountability.  Now drop and give me twenty.  Just kidding there.  :)     

This is how you are going to win this battle.  You are going to plan to win it, organize your life around winning it, and report back about how well you are winning it.  You will make corrections as needed until you get to goal.  We are going to cheer you on the whole way home.  This is how you will win this time and the next time and the time after that.  This is for life.  Stay connected, never forget where you started and don't ever get ****y that you "got" this.  I will be there for you and you will need to be there for me when I need it.  Together we are strong.  I believe in you, make it happen.

Great post! I have my plan.

I knew you would. 

Oh Elina how I need that advise right now.  Since my DHs hospitalization a week ago, I have done way too much emotional eating.  I can feel it and I don't like it.  But it's so hard to control.  I need another outlet for my emotions right now and my brain just isn't wanting to think straight.  All I want is comfort food to help make all of this go away.  Of course, I know that eating won't make it go away.  It will only make things worse. 

I've just got to get my act together.  While concentraing on the health of my husband, I can't let myself go to pot. 

Diggning deep down within myself to find the strength to get past this need to eat.....

I know you are going through a hard time with your husband right now, but you are right, eating about it will not help him or you.  Try journaling every time you want to eat and it's not meal time, you are probably needing reassurance, you are scared, nervous, worried.  Eating does not make those emotions go away.  Journaling helps get them out. Keep a pen and paper with you now and just go to town on it.  Let it all out.  I am so sorry you are in the middle of the storm now.  I wish I could give you a big hug. 

Elina, your words ARE a hug.  Thank you.  Getting that pen and paper now....

This last 20 pounds has been a ***** trying to get off.  I have made bad food choices and slacked on the exercise and stopped logging. I fell off the wagon but I climbed back up yesterday, started exercising and food logging.  It scared me because I made bad choices for 3 weeks.  What if I hadn't jumped back on the wagon?  I think for the future I need to decide how far off track I can allow myself before I spend the cash on counseling - I DO NOT WANT TO GAIN BACK what I have worked so hard to lose.  I do have all the books Brandilynn suggests.
I thought I looked so hot at my social event Sat night.  I just downloaded the pics and I look like I weigh 30 pounds more than I do.  So that reality check got me back on track.  I am so glad I only gained 1 pound with 3 weeks of bad choices.
I wish my restriction was better but it is what it is and I need to deal with it.
Elina, thanks for the butt kickin'.  I will think about you while I drink my Chai tea tonight.  It is already hot  here - so I'm not sure if I can keep it up this summer.  Have you tried cold chai tea?
Kat

Yes, you can make excellent cold chai tea lattes with ice cubes.  They are delicious.  The last 20 pounds are the hardest.  I had to really tighten things up to get them to come off.  I would suggest having a safety zone above which you just refuse to go.  It is great that you were able to stay within one pound when you were not on program 100%, but you should know, that that doesn't seem to last.  I find that the further out I get, the more I have to be careful about my choices and I seem to need to make adjustments when I am off program for two or more days.  That is my limit.  Let me know if you come up with other cold low calorie drinks that work for you.  I am going to need new ideas for this summer.

 Elina, 
I hear what you are saying but I'd like to know what your calorie, carb, protein counts were in your losing phase and what you are doing now.  I know you've talked about your soups that you made and I think I'm going to make some to have when I feel like eating.  

Thanks for your wonderful words of wisdom..  I know we all need a  little a@@ kicking at times and it's nice to have people at goal give us those little pearls.  

Thanks

Here you go....

In my losing phase I ate under 800 cals.  The first three months, I was under 500 cals. months 4-6 closer to 800 and I was at goal around 6.5 months.  I ate 65 g. of protein and under 40 carbs a day. I did not count fat grams.


Now, I eat between 1200-1800 cals a day.  I am not really keeping track of protein and carbs, but I eat protein first almost at every meal, I eat some carbs, but no bread, rice or potatoes except on rare occasions.  I some treats on most days, but the calorie count is always in the range I mentioned.  I am not nearly as strict now as when I was in my losing phase.  Having said this, I weigh myself every single day, and if the scale gives me even a tiny reason to pull back, I do it right away.  My weight range is very tight, I try to stay between 103-105 lbs.  Anything higher than that and I am back to low carb, journaling, the whole deal.  I had to figure out what works for me in maintenance, it is different for everybody.  I hope this helps.