Changing Relationships

I agree with what everyone has said.   I believe it took time for us to come to grips with making a change as drastic as this and it can take others in our lives time to wrap their brains around it.   A lot of people post that their kids/signifigant other are not supportive and i always tell them you have to give them time to wrap their minds around it.  Not only does it change us,  it also changes many others as well.   I'm sure she'll figure it all out and at the end of the day,  you're sisters and love will work it out  :o)  jeani

eta.  we wanted this change,  not everyone else does  :o)

Sounds like your sister is going to have to come to terms with the changes in you and more importantly the changes in her feelings about herself compared to you. I suspect its something that time will heal and there is not much you can do to  pu**** but to occasionally let her know you are thinking of her and still your same self. Bet she wll come around. I sometimes have to stop myself from "gushing" about the wonders of my weight loss around others who are either not interested or sensitive. Might be a subject to leave out of messages - you probably already do - until she just gets used to your changes and realizes the value of her sister which I am sure she will.

One thing on your vist is to bring stuff you need to eat or be prepared to eat what is offered and not make anyone go out of the way to accomodate you. That might make things smoother. gl. Diane

Thanks guys, you are all amazing! 

I have two sisters - a very thin one and another one that has a happy life but gained weight after marrying and has been obese for 20 years. We haven't been getting along well in the last months/years for other reasons. And she was very unsupportive when I decided to have the surgery, as everyone in my family besides my mom.

After the surgery, the thin one relaxed when she saw I wasn't going to die, and was happy for me. But somehow the fat sister totally ignores the subject, doesn't ask how I am doing or anything like that. The other day I sent my weight loss chart to the 3 of them - thin sister, my mom and also to her as I wanted her to get excited about losing weight as I think she should try again... and she just answered: "I am happy you're getting healthier", totally cutting the subject. It's very obvious she is not interested in talking about it at all.

I think when you have a surgery like this you realize who truly cares about you and your well-being... on the other hand, this could be a touchy subject for her as it probably makes her think about her own issues with weight.

I think you should just relax on your trip and try not to show too much enthusiasm about your weight loss... it must hurt a bit if she's trying to lose weight and is not successful - we all know how it feels.

Thanks.  Great advise.  I'm sure our sisters love us.  It's like you said, they are reminded once again of their own weight, and it hurts.