Are We Setting the Bar Too High?

I've been working with a trainer since December and have started to develop more muscles and strength. I think that the skin issue would be even worse, if I hadn't been doing the weight training. The bewflaps and bumflaps are UGH, but I think it could be much, much worse. I am developing some muscle on the upper part of my butt, but the flaps are still there and I don't think any amount of weight training will make them go away. Even with the skin, I prefer to be where I am at now, than where I started. I feel so much better. Besides, being a size 2 petite feels pretty good.

:}  I bet being a 2 petite does feel pretty good!

I certainly can relate about musle filling up skin.  I definitely have photographic proof of what my skin looks like with and without, and I much prefer with.

I think too, the bumflaps will ease up a bit for me, with maturation and more building of the glutes and hams.

But Rome wasnt built in a day!  Damnit.  :}

Your photos are what give me hope that continuing with the weight training can only help. I know that it won't take care of everything, but it is helping.

You're right, Rome wasn't built in a day. :)

Yaaay!!  And its nice to feel as good in your skin as you can, bewb even with bumflaps !! Yaay!  go us!

Yes I set the bar for myself too high.

Yes I was drving myself crazy, trying to get back down to my lowes of 142 lbs...

Yes I have realized it and stopped...

Yes I have cut myself some slack...

I have:
-  Increased my acceptable weight range
-  I have stopped trying to get anymore weight off
-  I am only working on maintaining now
-  Perhaps I will lose more in the future, perhpas not
-  What has happened because of this???  I have been losing weight!!  Why??  Because I am not trying to stuff everything I can't have in, before I go on my next 'diet'.  I am just enjoying the things 'off plan' in moderation, at times when I want them...  AND it is working!!!

I am much more relaxed trying to maintian, than trying to lose...  I am happy again... I am proud again...

Hugs,

Cindy

good going, Cindy, being happy IS goal!

I can't cut myself any slack. I am a big candy eater, and I would cut slack by saying it's okay to eat a candy bar every day. If I cut myself slack, I'd be up to150   at least in no time at all.   I know I would.

For the most part, I am not beating myself up, I am just trying to do what I know I am supposed to do and hope it comes back off like it always did before.

Sassy have you tried giving yourself permission to eat a candy bar every day?  That's what?  300 calories?  Maybe 350?  What if you decided to fit that into your eating plan -- EVERY DAY?  That's pretty much what I do -- I track all my calories and all my exercise, and I make room for a treat (candy bar, dessert, or maybe a couple of drinks) almost every day.  And so far I'm still losing (I'm down to losing about a pound a month, but I'm still losing).

Just a thought...

Good topic! I know by todays standards I am thin! My BMI is 23 and the lowest I've been is 21.7 - when it was that low I looked awful in my face/neck ... but I liked it!! I know I look way better now but psychologically I like the lower numbers!!

When I did get down to my lowest (which is about 8-9lbs away) I really only had skin left - it was the saddle bags on the thighs and the wrinkly ass that made me think that the lower I got the better they got - what I know now is that the only way they will ever go is with surgery and unfortunately that isn't an option at the moment.

I have started running (ha would never ever have thought I could run!!) and am really curious as to whether it is going to improve my thighs - be nice to think they might improve a bit without my top half looking emaciated!

Insightful topic. The last part in particular - "How do I make peace with my weight?"  Thats what we really all want. To not have to be thinking about it all the time, worrying about every half pound or bite of a sweet, fixating on the bmi or scale number or whatever. Yet years ago when I got so sick of struggling with weight and just decided to accept it and live with it and not be obsessed with it, I still slowly gained weight until I was morbidly obese and my health was in jeaopardy. So maybe the only way to make peace is to accept that its going to be an issue always, to try to take the emotional element out of it and just do what has to be done like we do household chores and such.

I am trying to maintain my loss by keeping my weight below 125. I am a couple of pounds below that. I have my goals feature set to weighing below 125 in 2 months, 6 months and so forth. Not sure what I will do when the day comes when I exceed that. I have so far not found it too hard to maintain but I keep waiting for that day that I know will come in a few months where i just can't resist some off plan eating and gain a few. Seems to be pretty normal and common and yet I DON'T WANT TO GAIN ANY REBOUND WEIGHT.

I guess we will always be at war with our weight. but for the first time in my life, I have driven back every single one of the enemies, have them all tied up and surrounded, and I have the biggest gun. So yeah, its an uneasy peace because those enemies will try to get out, but I am in a far better strategic position than I have ever been in my life.

So maybe being at peace is as simple as basking in how well you have done from time to time and putting a big gold star on your calendar everyday you are under that 21 and pretty soon you have a whole lot of those stars and feel pride in your accomplishment. That might make things feel less like a war and more like a project. I think of it like brushing and flossing teeth and seeing dentist regularly. Not an especially fun or interesting activity but the consequences of stopping these habits would be awful. Choosing good health and good food choices is not war. Its smart.   Diane