Are We Setting the Bar Too High?

Awesome! How could I forget Mandy was down there too! I am driving in for four days- hopefully with m sister- and I would LOVE to mee up!!

OMG!!!!! Fawn!! PM me!! We HAVE to get together when you come here!!!

I am in Lawrenceville, also, which is only about 20 minutes from downtown ATL.

Yay!!

I am guilty of the same.  You know, I lived so many years in denial of the scale and now I try and weigh most days.  I never want to go *there* again...you know that black place with my head in the sand.  But my skinny daughter is the same...she's always watching her diet like a hawk.  She's never had a weight problem and has had a baby.  She's 5'8 and 120lbs...talk about skinny!  The other day she told me that this lady at her work brings donuts in every day and she finally told her to stop doing it.  The lady said to her "your so skinny, you have nothing to worry about".  My daughter said " how do you think I stay this way?...I don't eat that crap!".  So there you have it...skinny people do it too.

It does suck being a slave to the scale though...it seems there's just no happy medium....

Laura

Yes, I hear you on this one. It's such a balancing act. I know for me, the war on weight will never end, but I am still struggling with what that number should be. Right now, I'm at 148. At 5'8", that puts me at a BMI of 22.5. Which by any standard is a nice slim body. It's also a weight that I maintained for quite a while pre-surgery so it's probably a set point. But I was maintaining after surgery at 143 (21.7) for quite a long time, and I like that better, lol! Also, my size 4 pants are still tight, and that is actually my biggest issue. I NEVER again want to have a closet with sizes ranging from 6 to 18W, like I had before surgery.

I have really upped my exercise lately (which I hate, hate, hate) and am going to add some very careful strength training with a personal trainer to help my osteoporosis. So, a la MacMadame,  if I add some muscle and reduce some fat and the scale stays the same but the clothes fit, I'll be okay with where I am. I do feel back in control of my eating.

So, babbling in my mind...let me summarize...I'm trying to let go of the number somewhat and go by :

1) Am I in control of my eating? and
2) Do my clothes fit?

But I'd rather that scale was at 143. Actually I'd prefer it at 140, but oh, well. Lol!!

Lizanne

Yes we should cut ourselves some slack. I personally am 100% content at anything that leaves me at a normal BMI. Under 25 BMI and I am a happy girl. I simple do not want to be officially "overweight" again. That leaves 18 pounds I could gain right now and still be happy... I have no desire to see very low numbers on the scale or the BMI chart. I have a desire to not obsess about it, for my clothes to fit, and to feel good. That is it really..

As much as id like to lose the 3-4lbs im up from before christmas, i dont want it to become all there is to me. and all that is controlling me..

I dont want to be contantly battling my self to the point im so fixated on that number that i forget what i have obtained...

I am still healthy, i cant still walk where ever it is i want to go, i dont swallow any pills apart from my vitamins...

it doesnt mean that im giving up or letting go, but i had surgery to be healthy to change my lifestyle, i think obessing over a number that doesnt want to come back for me is not healthy..

Im never going to be perfect and if that means i maintain at 140-141 instead of 137-138 then i should be thrilled because its along ways from the 227 i started at and i certainly have my life back..

On the Self Site they have two calculators. One is for your "ideal" weight. But the other is for your "happy" weight. This is a weight that you can live with even if it's higher than ideal.

I really like that concept!

I know when I was going down, I got to 125 and I thought, okay, a little pudgie in spots (thighs and tummy mostly), but I could live with this. Then I got under 120 and I thought "okay, THIS is it. I really like how I look and how I'm eating and I swear I will be happy if I stay under 120." I also said "I will NEVER go over 120 again."

And here I sit, weighing 120-122 most days. Part of me is freaked out. I said I'd never be over 120 again. I am not weak. I am not one of those people who "settles" because I have no self-discipline. blah, blah, blah. But the rest of me is more rational and realizes that my clothes still fit and I have less body fat than the last time I was 120-122. In fact, I am feeling like I'm getting a bit scrawny again. I looked better with more body fat in some ways (but not in others).

The situation, for me, is complicated by who I hang with. I hang with athletes. Some are normal weight. Some are even overweight. But I'd say 80% of the people I hang with are downright skinny. They make me feel FAT! I think I'm so thin and so small and then I go to a track workout and some dude who is taller than me has thighs that are smaller than mine. Seriously... these people have NO body fat. They are FREAKS.

It can really give you a complex and distort your world view. I bet people who work in the fashion industry or in Hollywood go through the same thing.

This topic is why, I want to have my body fat tested. I want to focus on body fat percentage, rather than a number on the scale. I am 4'11" and weigh 114.2 this morning, which puts my BMI at 23.2. Not bad, considering where I started from. I've trying to go down to 110, but it may not be in the cards, and my skin would probably look worse than it does now.

Ah yes... the skin.  And the redistribution will help a bit with bony chest and veiny arms, but not do a thing for bewbflaps and bumflaps, I have found.