Why not too - "If I could save you a huge hunk of heartache"

The secrets dealio is a very fine idea!!

I, since I learned much from folks' cries for help - I would really like it if we could to help folks out by way of sharing the cautions that abound.  I realize that its more of the seedy underbelly of the whole thing here, but its a way to be a cautionary tale bearer without somone feeling lectured.  I also have seen folks try and share this with newbies and then get pummelled verbally by said newbie who did not hear the person's heart, and only felt attacked. 

I also realize that very few of us like to talk about the seedy underbelly of our human natures, but they sure enough are real and have tripped more than a few of us up.

Things like - never getting to goal because *insert reason here* - and too, I realize I spout  getting to goal as soon as you can because even as a relative light weight, I KNEW I was going to get tired of the laser-like hyperfocus.  I can try and imagine what it would have been like to lose 120 pounds and then be faced with at least that much more, but honest and true - I can only be empathetic, because that just was not my reality. 

Getting attached to old foods and never had a plan for because they figured "once surgerzied, always fixed"

Getting attached to old triggery/***** foods because they were offered to us as ways to up our weight if we were in a situation where we were losing when we needed to not be.

Turning attentions to alcohol, smoking, shopping, people who are not your regularly schedule partner?

Finding ourselves back in poor eating habits because of ?

Turning dissatisfaction with how life did not really change into dissatisfaction with our partners, job, friends, et cetera ?

Just a thinking thought. 

And too, I agree with the trying to not glut the board with everything at once. 

Good ideas, friends!! 

Hey Good idea B, the only snag is, I am absolutely not as into being transparent as you seem to be.  I really am concerned with how people see me and think of me, and it would be too much on me to even *think* people are thinking about things I did that were inappropriate.

Its nice you seem to not have to care about what folks think about you, but its definitely not the norm.

Hey random poster, I sure agree, its *not* easy being transparent. 

I guess I learned that transparent was the way to go, having been in church where everybody talked a good talk, but nobody wanted to talk about the REAL stuff that tripped them up so -

* we get called hypocrites
* nobody gets the help/love/support they need
* people think that if they have problems, they are not in "the club."

So what's the answer, random poster?  Maybe creating a gmail account and a new personality to not have to say exactly who you were, that allows you to tell truth, but not have to tell everyone who you are so you do not have to deal with wierd feelings?  I dunno, that's the best I can think of.

I appreciate your speaking up.  It sure can be lonely, being the only seedy underbelly talkabouter in public, but know this..

EVEN IF NOBODY EVER ANSWERS OR ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR POST, KNOW THAT SOMEONE HAS DEALT WITH THE SAME THING AND FELT THE SAME THING.

Its the nature of humans. Nothing new under the sun. 

There is something liberating about not having to hide in the shadows though too.  I sure can dig it though, if you are wiling to share your heart, but are not ready to come into the light. 

Be sweet to you and know that if somebody had had the balls to say something before you got trapped in X, it really might have helped you make a different decision.

Muwah..

As always, thi****s home for me.

I'm not at goal and there's no secret to me why I'm not. I allowed old thinking, habits and foods to come back and visit me. At first it was only occasionally and soon it was more than I ever wanted. Along with food choices that weren't condusive to losing weight I stopped exercising - so not a good combo! This is the absolute truth of what has happened the past 8 or 9 months.

I've been building my exercising back up to 4 intense days and 1 moderate. My food choices have been better and there are no more offending substances in my home or work. I'm awfully glad that I was able to maintain my weight loss within 5 lbs and this wouldn't have ever happened before in my dieting history.

So, I'm still a work in progress and I'm still learning about myself and what issues will always be with me. I only have 40 lousy pounds to lose until I'm at goal and in the whole scheme of things, it's not that much to go! There isn't anything but me holding me back from reaching that.

OK, I'll stop while I'm ahead...

*squeeze*

I am glad you maintained within 5 pounds while you were learning hard lessons, girlie.  I think its really cool that some folks just do not seem to have the mind games that others of us do - but I am sure glad you recognized them, are learning from them.

I find the hardest things to want to know about me are my best teachers, ultimately. 

Thanks for being the sweet sharing heart you always are, Jean.  I sure do appreciate you.

Oh Brandi, I am as transparent as clear glass my dear. I just don't have it in me to hide things- whether it be my thoughts, feelings, joys and pains, or flaws. I have been told I am an open book my whole life. I can honestly say the one thing that jumped up and bit me when I lost weight was shopping. Now mind you we are not poor in terms that I think of as poor, but we are definitely a paycheck to paycheck family. I have bought more clothes, shoes, housewares, toys, books, etc, etc, etc since getting thin than in my whole first three decades combined. It is as absolute wonder that we are not flat broke and in ruins. I have managed to limit myself to bargain shopping mostly, but boy do I see the damage I could do! It is 100% my fault that we have no money saved. I realize that once I couldn't eat to entertain myself that I started going out and shopping to keep me occupied. Truth is that I am stir crazy.. my hubby calls it caged bird syndrome.. I NEED to have something to do. School just isn't enough of a challenge and I can NOT find a job to save my life... I need a hobby that will hold my ADHD interest that doesn't cost lots of money. I am joining the gym next week... it will cost me $54 a month (or a $100 if I sign up the whole fam), but will save me tons more than that if I go to an exercise class or the pool when I get bored. We shall see how that works for me.

Oh, man Fawn, I can relate to the "stir crazy"  It's been really bad lately.  I keep getting this generalized sense of unease.  Like I know I need to be doing something...going somewhere...and it's driving me nuts.  I was the laid back girl who loved drinking toddies and sitting by the fire, smoking cigs...all after a great big huge meal.  I swear I could sit for hours and do nothing and be happy.  Not anymore.  I keep feeling like something is "missing".  And I guess it really is now that I think about it.  I love my size, but I miss being the laid back, funny girl. 

Weight loss changes way more than your body size!

Uggg - I recognize that insane urge for the DOING something, and the shopping. 

I hope you really find some great classes you love (like I love zumba!) or really get into some sort of something at your gym. 

Not being able to find a job period, much less in your field is a mindpoke too. 

Thanks for sharing, I do not think folks get it, and it makes me cringe when they delightfully tell their new transfer addiction is x thing.  Because when it is a transfer addiction, usually its not delightful and *squeeee* and its putting pressure on their lives and their loves.  Booo.

Here's to you finding good things to focus on, one minute at a time!  :} 

Thanks, Fawn!

Brandilynn...I really love your post.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized how critical it was to longterm success. 

Some friends and I discussed this just last week.  Transference of addiction. 

Get counseling if you need it.  Do the group thing.  Do the board thing.  Whatever it takes to work on the emotional side of weight loss.

I think the consensus last week in our discussion was .....You WILL replace your eating addiction with something...so make sure you choose wisely. 

I'm a work in progress with that. 

I think a lot of us are works in progress, some of us do not even know it!  :}  ha!!

I agree also, in the do whatever it takes - and to be gentle with ourselves.  Being harsh never helped before.

Your face! Whar'd it go?  I will miss it! 

Muwah girlie.  Thanks for your thinking thoughts.