how much regain am I OK with?

I need to be zen about stuff too.  I dunno if I do not *sound* zen about it, but I really kind of am.  I eat how my body like to run best most of the time and then special food for special times.

But, working a deal with me about how much I am willing be okay with regaining?  Meh - I guess the question would be "why am I regaining" because if its something I cant control, then it is what it is.  If its because I put on more muscle mass, then no problem - it probably will not change the size of my clothes.  If its because I have reverted back to old behaviors, well then, Houston, we have a problem. 

But I do think that we are worth so much more than the scale says our weight is.  I work hard to remind myself that I am just as worthy now as I ever was, not more, not less. My weight loss did not rank me up there with anyone, it did not change my value or worth as a human, but it definitely allows me to be more free without being distracted by my heft like I had been. 

But the freaking out and clamping down are sure to end in a binge for me, so not harshly overcorrecting an indulgence, not talking ugly stuff to myself when/if I find myself in an old behavior neighborhood, being ugly to me never helped me do anything, except be uglier to me.

And I am not taking that crap offa me or nobody else! 

I love this board so much!

I am in freak out mode and have been since the beginning of the the year.  I don't see why we have to accept a regain. But that does not seem to stop me from eating things I know are not going to get me back to where I want to be. I don't beat myself up over it too much though. I am still wearing all my clothes and I think  if I had to put something aside from being too small, I'd do protein shakes for a month if I had to.