Help, cake problems

When I was a little girl my mom used to make the most incredible Russian cake ever.  It took hours to make and then it had to sit for a few days, (not kidding) before it was done.  Nothing tastes as good as this cake does to me.  NOTHING!  The last time she made it, I was 12 years old.  It is too much of a hassle to make and who has the time any more?  Well, she just informed me that she has made it, and it is sitting in her refrigerator.  It will be ready in two days.  There is a part of me that wants to strangle my mother.  On the other hand, there is no way in hell that I am not having a piece of that cake.  And to make matters worse, I now have to wait and think about it for the next few days.  I know I am just rambling, but I have so many mixed feelings about this.  On one hand, the cake reminds of my childhood and how much each celebration meant back then, on the other hand, I am scared of losing control and eating the whole thing.  Then I wonder what is wrong with me, it's just cake.  Can anybody understand this weird, confused rambling?  Help?!

Sure I understand this. We all have favorite food memories from childhood. Even normal people do. We probably developed our overeating issues from events in childhood - I know I did - and so its not surprising that you are having a  little obsession over this special item. Who wouldn't.

So I think you should have  modest piece of that cake. Make sure you cut the piece yourself and don't let someone else cut you a giant piece. Then leave the rest at your moms. resist the urge to bring any home. If you get forced to take a piece home, feed it to your kids quick (this might be bad but ok for your kids to understand your heritage).  Can you ask your mom to either not make this cake or if she does to just not tell you about it? This must be hard as it surely has sentimental value to her and she now doubt remembers good times with family and that cake.

So eat the little piece and then do a day of protein drink if you need to. It will all even out. I know you can make this work. There is nothing wrong with you for having these thoughts - at least nothing thats not wrong with all of us.

My childhood memory food/weakness is pecan pie. My grandmother was a southerner and  used to make it and it was so good. And in my adult life I learned to make it even better. My only real "food funeral" involved a pecan pie but it came from costco and wasn't all that great so i didin't overdo it.

And you can get through this without overdoing it. And then be proud that you dodged a bullet. gl Diane

Thank you Diane for your reasoned response.  It is crazy how obsessive my mind can get over a piece of cake.  One little piece of cake and I am back to thinking like a "fat" girl again.  I can actually imagine myself feeling possessive of the cake, not wanting to share it.  All these crazy memories from childhood are all somehow tied to this one food.  I remember my grandmother being so obsessed with food because there just wasn't enough of it.  I remember how people's place in the family was confirmed through who got served first and how much they got on their plate.  It was always a question of who got to chose the first and best piece.  A women's worth was tied to her ability to cook elaborate meals that took all day to prepare.  This is all so far away from my current reality, and yet it is just under the surface ready to jump out at me as soon as "the cake" is mentioned.  Food is about so much more than nutrition and sustenance.  I grew up in a family where food and love were interchangeable.  I have to be very careful to not pass this family tradition on to my own kids.

If its a treat that you cant get in everyday life i dont see the problem even iff you chose to make a meal out of the cake... after all its not something you can just go to the store and buy... and im sure your not going to be the only person eating the cake

or cut back and be extra good for the next two days then eat the cake completly guilt free because you know you can afford to gain a bit..

I love your advice, cutting caloies as we speak.  By the time the cake is served, I'll need the calories.  The next time I see this cake might be 20 years later, so you are right, eat and enjoy.  Thank you.

Been reading though (Thin Commandments) ... don't eat it on an empty stomach (sets you up metabolically to crave it)

Thank you.  Good point, will eat 2 oz. of protein first.  That is exactly what I am afraid of, the calories from the cake are just the start.  I don't want it to turn into an eating frenzy or increase my cravings for sweets later.  The truth is, I know it will trigger me, but I just can't find the strength to not eat it.  I am going to have to do an all protein day after wards, just to detox a little.

yep ... it's the lack of control that is more worrisome than the calories.

Gullo (Thin Commandments) suggests writing out your meals for the day after a slip (not really a slip in this case, but since you worried about the future damage)
I've been listening to it on my walk to the bus in the morning, so pretty soon I'll be quoting him like he's an old friend :-)

Totally understand what you are saying!

Keep it simple.....protein first and please "enjoy" a piece of "your Mom's" russian cake".  Love you!

I totally understand the panic and obession. No one wants to fall back into old patterns. But, we have to allow ourselves the occaisional treat. And something you haven't had since you were 12 certainly qualifies!!!!

My advice? Eat some protein ... go to your moms and enjoy the heck out of that cake. Really enjoy it - don't think "I shouldn't be eating this". Know why? Because, you had this surgery to be free of obesity and all the food hang-ups you've had. Eat your fill, enjoy it and look forward to the next slice in 20 years.

(And, if your mom really wants you to take some home ... Do it! Maybe wrap up some small slices and put them in the freezer. Then, when you have a moment where you want some "comfort food" or feeling sentimental, you can go have it. Of course, you'll have to give it time to defrost, etc. But, that will make the final tastes all that much better!)

Now ... here's my request. Remind me of this post when I have a panic/meltdown moment!