What do you make of someone like me???

I think it's fascinating that all over the world people are gathered in forums talking about...everything. I once was googling to find what happened at the end of an episode of Criminal Minds - ran into a forum where people did nothing else but talk about the show! goodness!

I used to be on a bird forum and spent years on a dog owner's forum - now all I do is read & post on OH. but there is a great deal of variety here, in my defense!

oh, we were talking about food: well people who believe in eating RAW have forums, I've been there, also Vegans, low carb people and people who believe in only eating what was available to eat 100,000 years ago because that is what we evolved to eat.
 
just a small sampling of "normies" talking about eating.

A comedian once said "it used to be if you were a goat ****** you were a freak. Now with the internet you can find a forum and be a part of a community and then the only form of separation on that forum is, what *kind* of goat do you like to **** "

And so it is, and so we have it.

Yaaahoooooo!!

God, what a revelation!  what's amazing to me is, most of the posters there eat 5-6 times a day, like most of *us* do.  It makes me laugh, like I'm not such a freak.

This is SUCH an interesting discussion.  I don't really know (aside from reading a forum like that) what "normie" eating is, my behavior towards food has been a lifelong story of dysfunction, self-indulgence, and misery.  So I'm more in the Diane and Brandilynn camp as far as my post-op behavior with food goes.  I seem to be a refined-sugar and refined-carb addict (along with potatoes), and eating enough of those will send me rushing down the tracks into a full blown train wreck (binge).  And for me, I fear that after surgery a binge isn't a one-time large-volume thing (which I can't do anymore), but a days-weeks-months long wallow in sugar and despair.  So to avoid that, I follow some rules around total calorie count per day, protein and water per day, and the avoidance of my trigger foods.  I can't say I've been perfect, and on special occasions I've had a bit here or there of cake or ice cream (my particular demon). I'm still in the weight-loss phase, but so far it works for me.

Thanks so much Boscogirl for posting and starting off the discussion!

Well after digesting this..... I do have an opinion...it might not be popular.... but it’s my perception I’d like to share.

First a question.... What is normal eating after VSG?..... It seems it will never compare to pre-op eating......It's not that much food....but you get used to it.

 

Do I think your a freak of nature..... Yes, and I mean that in the fondest way. You are not the “norm"  Before you block me.... hear me out.

I don’t ever want to discount your efforts.... you did it....plain and simple. And you did it your way, for that you must be commended!

 

I’m gonna assume a few things, there all not gonna be correct and I’m not trying to say you didn't try, cause you obliviously did the work.....the weight never falls off all by itself.

 

• Your metabolism is in check
• Your in overall good health
• You weren't a super heavy weight
• You are mentally together
• You probably had a better food relationship than others

 

OK... the point I’m trying to make is that what worked for you, worked cause whether you knew it or not you had some ducks lined up in a row.....the perfect storm of sorts. I am not saying what you did won’t work for others....or even myself.

 

All those things I just listed......I didn't have.

 

The problem for me doing it your way is that it “may" have lead me astray. After all every other time I lost weight my failures and regain was all about drifting astray.

I also found out through this process is that I am VERY carb sensitive and I cannot consume the calories that most of you can. If I eat over a thousand calories a day without walking....I can gain.

 

I needed a proven path, my way never worked for me. I needed professional attention, I needed to get with the program. I wasn't competent enough to make proper choices. I threw in the towel and put myself in the hands of someone who knew.

 

My perception and recommendation for everybody is to follow the plan at first and get a baseline. Once you can establish what can be done on plan....than if you choose, than you can see what deviation gets you.

 

Again I am not saying your wrong or dissing you in anyway, I’m actually complimenting you cause I think you are stronger than myself when it comes to self control over food (I think?) and entered this process with less issues..... maybe?

 

When I see posts on the main VSG board about people going off plan......Most sound different than your story...With you, I feel you deviate with calculated control.... most of the off plan eating on the main board sounds so desperate and out of control.

 

In general you are correct, we all take a different path, many of us (pointing the finger at myself) are NOT as compliant as it may seem.

 

Anyway... I hope I didn't make to many wrong assumptions and I didn't insult you. I do consider you a very valid success story, an inspiration to all and a valuable member of this sorority and we have more in common than not.

 

frisco

LOL Frisco, you did not offend me at all....I think you are spot on actually.  Thank you for taking the time to respond!

I think I agree with Frisco on this one. It's gonna depend on your own biochemical makeup, hormones, emotional issues with food, etc. I agree that the light weights have a better shot at doing this because they did have a better perfect storm.

My all time high weight was 280, day of surgery 261, and lost to 173 in about 8 months. I still want to lose to get to 150, which I am guessing is losing to about 160? and then plastics??? Not sure, but going to talk to PS about it. I would already be there except for two things.... I let bad carbs creep in and I cannot handle those, ie cheetos, sugar, etc. And herniated disks put the skids on a real exercise program. Am finally able to get back to light exercise now and thrilled. I also got rid of the chips, crackers, processed foods and am back on track.

One thing interesting though is after looking realistically at my diet, I AM low carb. Just not Atkins (20 grams) low. I do okay with very small amounts (maybe a bite or 2) of carbs if they are whole foods... ie potatoes, yams, bananas.

For me, personally, if I go too low carb and restrict too much, it has a rebound effect. Diet head rears its ugly head and I begin to panic. I take a more "lowish" carb, whole food approach and it works for me.

But everyone is different.

PS Woke up to snow in south Texas!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOO.... my skinny ass cannot handle cold weather. LOL

I admittedly followed my program to a "T" through my losing phase, but I never felt like I was dieting because I didn't really have room for any off my plan. My thought process was; get to goal, worry about maintenance later. Once I got into maintenance, I started adding in more carbs, more food options, and started learning what I needed to do to maintain my loss.

I also never was much of an emotional eater. I identify or classify myself as an entertainment/bored eater. Food was yummy, it kept me entertained when I had nothing better to do. I was also a volume eater. I had zero compulsive tendencies even the 2 psych evals confirmed that I was not compulsive by nature. So, my food demons were not hard to battle, the sleeve gave me the best of both worlds. Immediate, constant restriction, and loss of physical hunger which would trigger head hunger.

I have been in maintenance for a year, and struggled at first to get my weight loss to stop. I was not willing to throw away all the hard work I did to get to goal, but I really had to accept that my body needed more calories, and carbs if I wanted to stop losing weight. I did allow more food choices into my daily menu that I had restricted for many months. At first, I struggled with guilt, and fear that I would gain. But, then something clicked, a little light bulb went off, and I realized that I had to find a balance not only with my food choices, but with my mentality on food, indulgences, carbs, protein. I had to "let go" is the best way for me to put it. 

I can say that I fell into a few old, fun trends over the holidays starting with Halloween all the way through the New Year. I drank, ate, drank, ate some more, and yes, I saw a gain. It was a whole whopping 3-5lbs. I went back to protein first, little room for junk, and lost those and then regained back to 128-129lbs. I had to find the balance that worked for me. I had to mentally accept that if I wanted to truly live a life of moderation, and not deprive myself, I would see a bounce around on the scale. I have always said that mashed potatoes didn't make me fat. Eating 4 cups of mashed potatoes made me fat, and I couldn't for the life of me eat 4 cups of anything, I can still barely eat 1 cup of food. Could I suck down a 3000 calorie milkshake? Sure I could, but honestly, I have zero desire to have a milkshake.

I really do enjoy eating a balanced, nutrient and protein dense diet. My body runs best with protein and greens. I can eat carbs, but if I overdo them, I do feel sluggish, and kind of run down. So, I want to feel good, I need to eat good. This is how I gauge what and when I eat.

I can honestly say the only "bad" habit I've picked back up is night snacking. I just recognized it a couple of weeks ago. I used to (pre-op) love going to bed with a full tummy. It was comforting, and I thought it helped me sleep. Funny thing now is that I realize I sleep worse, toss and turn, wake up feeling blah, and it takes forever for me to "get going".

I don't believe there is a "cookie cutter" remedy to WLS. We all got fat in our way, we all walked a different path to obesity, we all have to find what works for us. I agree that I did it "my way" and apparently it worked. I also do not foresee it not continuing to work for the long haul. Sure, life happens, **** happens, will I lose control, and binge? I honestly can't answer that question. But, what I do know is that I have a permanent tool, I have the knowledge, and I'll have to recognize any behaviors that might lead to out of control eating. When someone asks me how I did it, I'm honest. Self-awareness is a big key to my success.

The one thing that I can say that really bothers me is when someone has surgery, decides to do it their way, without a plan, without any accountability, completely disregards their surgeon/nut recommendations, eat whatever, whenever, and then complain when they stall or not lose and refuse to recognize that the sleeve is NOT going to stop poor food choices. I had the same issue with Weigh****cher meetings. It's the main reason I avoid our support group. I can't stand the "I eat like a bird, but not losing, or I'm only losing 1-2lbs a week." When they reveal what they are eating, they aren't eating like birds, they're eating sliders, carby, and totally not doing anything to change their choices other than relying on restriction to lose weight. Sure, they'll lose weight, they'll lose muscle, they'll have little to no energy, and they're pissed off when anyone tells them that maybe they need to re-evaluate their food choices. They defend their choices, but whine about not losing, or my favorite "my nut told me to not worry about carbs." Well, honey, apparently not worrying about stuff isn't giving you the desired result so why not rethink this situation.

I'm a "shoot from the hip" kind of girl, and I refuse to coddle, enable, or tell someone "oh honey, it's okay, tomorrow is a new day.", past behavior predicts future behavior, and until I was willing to recognize, and change those behaviors, I would have continued to get the same results. I've had friends that had RNY about 6-12 months before I did. They've made comments such as "I just don't understand why you lost so much with just the sleeve?" "I can't seem to lose this last 60 pounds, and you have zero issues, what is going on?" " I'm not sure why you can eat  'all of' that and not gain weight?" I actually replied back to one of them. We were at a social function. I had mainly protein on my plate with a few crackers for the dips/cheese ball from the potluck offerings, and on her plate was cheesecake lemon bars, fruit with that marshmallow/cream cheese dip, and cookies. She popped off and said " I can eat way more junk food than I can good protein foods, and the bad food slides right down, you on the other hand, seem to have zero issue eating meat, cheese, the good stuff, and I hate not being able to more than 3-4oz of something. My surgeon is mad at me because I've got 50lbs to goal, and just can't lose anymore weight, how do you do it?" I tried to be as kind as possible, and I tried to have some degree of tact, but I know my reply was not well-received. I told her " just because I can, doesn't mean I should. I am content with my 3-5oz of protein, and while I can eat a lot more junk food, I make the choice to avoid those foods, if you really want to know how I do it, look at your plate, and then look at mine, that's how I do it, every day, every meal."

I know that was a total ramble, but this topic spurred a lot of thoughts and feelings for me. In a nutshell, I dieted and deprived myself all the way up to 270lbs. Obviously, that didn't work for me before, therfore, I had to find what would work for me now.

Excellent post - thanks!

Lengthy.........but well said,  USAF wife  

Hey these are great thoughts. Reflect the experiences so many of us have had. I am especially interested in the night snacking comment. I was pre op a night snacker and I still have those tendancies though sleevie keeps me from over doing it. I think a lot of MO people are big time night snackers - we ate dinner and then just didn't stop until head hit the pillow. Don't know why that is, but it seems pretty universal in the obese. So I worry about night snacking. Used to be reeses peanut butter cups or cheese and crackers or whatever.   These days I have a glass of hot skim milk in the late evening as i have to take about 6 big capsules of calcium, viatamns, fish oil and red rice yeast so that milk makes them go down easier. Have come to really enjoy that drink. And if I am low on protein for the day I make it with some choc protein powder and unsweetened coco powder for a hot coco drink as the easiest way to get the 15 g i am short. Lately I am sometimes a little short on total calories and also do my favorite treat which is a blob of peanut butter on a spoon. So yummy. But I hope I can keep the evening snacking to nothing more than those things. A reese's peanut butter cup has not crossed my threshold since i had surgery (other than halloween and i wasn't even here) and I think thats going to have to be  a permanent rule. May have to put a sign on the porch that this is a Reeses Free Zone.   Anyway, loved your post. thanks for the thoughts. Diane