Woke Up Freaked Out !!!

 
As much as I may think I have all my ducks lined up in a row............

I woke up from a sleep..... freaked out!

Thinking "Is this weight loss thing just temporary????"

Is this my 15 minutes of being of normal weight????

Am I over confident?

Will my weight slowly creep back up to my Obese Self????

I guess only time will tell......

frisco

I have those sort of dreams too, Frisco.  Heck, I can't even really see myself as the size 12 that I am now.  I don't have a normal body image AT ALL.  I think after being overweight so much of our lives, it's just going to take time to get used to something so new and different.  And, I guess we also know in the back of our minds that it's really just us in the driver seat now as the sleeve has done the biggest part of its work, and we have to use the skills we've always used to keep our weight in check.

Hang in there, and thank God for this forum!

Theresa

I don't have those dreams, but I have all those thoughts.

whenever I think:  will I gain it all back?  I always answer, and LOUDLY, no I am keeping the new size.

The answer is NO!  We are going to be strong & come out here for support when we need it.

But, I have that fear as well.  I dream that I wake up & all the fat is back.  Well, I guess that's not a dream, but a NIGHTMARE! 

Yikes, thats what you get for having coffee at midnight Frisco, scary dreams!  But I understand the feeling. I am really scared of weight regain. I hear the two year mark is when it can start to happen. I am actually about 10 lbs below goal and people tell me to put a couple pounds back on and I probably should. But I just can't shake the habits i worked so hard to develop and i am not sure i really want to. will not increase calories with junk so i guess i can eat more peanut butter and cheese (yay). But being at a normal weight is something I have never had before in my life as far back as i can remember and I WANT TO KEEP IT THIS WAY!!!!!  

  So  I hear what you are saying. Thats why we all gotta take this one  day at a time and get continued support from whatever sources we have. And its why i think i am going to food journal for the rest of my life even though dr. C thinks its sort of obsessive, it just might take a little obsession to keep things this way. My new internist told me not to lose any more weight and i asked him to repeat that into an imaginary microphone as no doctor had ever said that to me and every single doctor I have seen since childhood has told me to lose weight. (thank you again dr. C)

Lets all make a blood pact to stay with this, check in here often, talk about it if we get into any trouble, and keep seeking information and knowledge and share it.

And Frisco, your "Obese Self" is long gone. History. There is no obese self anymore. No such physical creature- only a memory.  There is only slim trim Frisco with the extra two feet of airplane seatbelt. Maybe that iconic  picture should be the photo that identifies this group instead of that hippo. It says so much. We can do that if you like.

Anyway, have sweet dreams. You anin't goin' back. I just know it. Neither are any of us.

Diane

Sounds more like a nightmare to me bro!  And yes, I have them too.  It makes me crazy sometimes.  I always discuss this stuff with my trainer cause he's seen me through thick and thin, literally.  He just says to keep being vigilant about diet and activity and he kicks my ass 3 times a week.  Sometimes, I think I deserve the gym punishment for getting so fat.  I'm also afraid of self sabotage...we all know about that.  This maintenance thing is so damn hard emotionally, at least for me it is.   I doubt I'll ever trust myself.  I feel like I'm always 1 twinkie away from a never ending binge.  Sigh.  You are not alone.


Laura

Umm......I believe it was coffee and chocolate, Diane.  I think these fears will always weigh (no pun intended)  on our minds.......... it's the nature of years of being MO and not being  successful at keeping weight off.  i do feel the weight on our minds will diminish over time.  Will it ever go away.........who knows?  I think we will slowly accept that we WILL be successful this time!  BUT,, being mindful that we can ALL slip back into "old" habits will keep one from being too "****y"  This is why NEVER forgetting where you came from is VERY important........."those who forget/deny history.....are doomed to repeat it"   I will never hide away my fat pics, clothes, etc. they are my history........I don't want to EVER forget that! 

Hey Jimbo you are right - there was chocolate lurking and no doubt the source of bad dreams! Why do you think the sell raisenettes and milk duds at horror movies! But you are right about keeping our minds on the "prize" all the time and keeping a before pic around is a good idea. I have one in my purse now (the one from the lapsf contest) as i was seeing a new doctor for the first time and wanted him to see how i used to look.  we should all walk around for an hour every month or so with a 50 lb back pack just to remind us of a fraction of what we carried. I can barely lift something 50 lbs and can't imagine how i ever carried around more than twice that in extra weight. no wonder i was always tired and felt like crap!  So maybe a little fear is good. I got it and don't want to ever get complacent either.  Ten years from now we should all still be on this forum or whatever it has morphed into by then, reminding ourselves of these lessons.  Diane

 I just had a similar thought to that when I went into my closet to pull out the next size--12's.  Suddenly it occurred to me:  I just got rid of my plus size clothes!  And I went into a panic.  I mean, do you know what energy and skill it took to amass those clothes?  And then I started thinking about the reverse of this process--slowly steadily gaining weight.  When people stop complimenting you (on anything) and noticeably avoid the issue.  Been there, done that.  And there was a part of me that, for a second, almost wished I hadn't gone through this and lost any weight because I know how much more heartbreaking it would be IF I did regain.

But I have to figure that at the very least, I am much closer to healthfulness now than I was.  And even IF I did regain, I have to think at least I took a shot at it.

Now that being said, I so strongly don't want to ever be nearing 300s again.  I know that once I get to maintenance it won't be a piece of cake (pardon the pun) but I will know that I've lost all this weight and have a sense of what I can do.  Like so many other things, I think we just have to take it one day at a time.  There is a temptation for me to want to say this will become second nature.  But I am different.  My obesity is a part (a big part!) of my story and I think I'll always have to keep my head in the game.