I have Binge Eating Disorder

well, at least you now know it isn't your friend's "fault" - you wanted the cake and you had it.

Sassy, please forgive me if I asked this before and forgotten (I need a new brain!!) but have you tried OA?  the "I am powerless over sugar" seems to fit what you describe and some people have great sucess with the 12 step groups.  somebody told me you can do OA online if there isn't a group near you.

Sassy I am sorry If I judged your friend unfairly and don't blame you a bit for wanting that cake. I am also sorry you suffered from eating it as making a food mistake shouldn't be so painful and sickening. I went to a sort of dinner theater the other night and all i could get to eat was a mini cheese pizza from which i ate the topping. It really disagreed with me big time. No fun. I guess the real lesson is not that your friend is trying to make you eat cake because it sounds like thats not the case, but that you are still struggling with the compulsion to eat sweets and such. I can sympathize because I was a really big sugar addict and was really worried I would never get off it.(surgeon even sort of suggested the rny to me because i told him i was a sugar junky but i said heck no to that)  Even now  that I am I am doing reasonably well avoiding the sweets I am still very worried that It will come back as it did every other time I lost weight.  Again, the only advice I have is to put the past event behind you and try to make today a healthier day and also to have a few substitues available when that sugar monster comes lurking about. Atkins makes these Endulgence bars that taste really good and have 130 to 180 calories depending on size and have 5 g protein. The caramel nut is really good. Some grapes or a satsuma orange is sweet as can be and pretty healthy. I found a sugar free chai mix thats pretty good in hot skim milk. I can remember the old diet days when i just had to have some sugar so  bad that I would eat a spoon of a two year old jar of  jelly because i had gotten rid of everything else in the house. Those compulsions can be so powerful. Again, all I can think of is to have a few healthier options around and also to have a list of other things to do to distract yourself such as doing your nails, a craft project, trashy novel, video game or the like. Let us know when you find your solution and have faith that there is one out there. I have never been to OA but heard its good and sure will consider it if (when) the sugar monster shows up. all the best. diane

This is an important topic and I have been thinking about it since it was first posted by PetMom. I remember telling my surgeon that I was not really a binge eater because while I would overeat, I would reach a stopping point before the whole bag of m and m's was gone. Maybe 2/3 of it. Or I would eat a big dish of ice cream that was two servings worth but wouldn't do the whole carton, or eat 10 cookies but not the whole package. So I thought because I reached a stuffed point before the food was gone that I was not a binger. But I realize now its the same thing; I just had a little lower satiation point and there was no other difference between me and the person who would eat two half gallons of ice cream. I had no more control; only some chemical thing or full gut that kicked in. The fact was that I always ate about 20% more food than i needed each day and it added up. So that made me a quantity eater even though it might have been on a slightly lesser scale than some. No difference in the problem or the pathology. Just an accident of nature that I was a bmi 42 rather than 52. 

So this is a revelation  to me and glad this topic came up. I have never binged and purged or anything like that but sure ate to the point of discomfort. Gotta say I really don't do this anymore and its my sleeve that prevents it. Still plenty of restriction. But find myself with days of wanting to munch more than others and as time goes by, those slider foods are going to be more and more tempting. We all have to have a strategy for dealing with this. I think I know why I became an overeater as a child for a long bunch of family dynamic reasons I won't bore everyone with and while its helpful to understand it, it doesn't tell me what to do about it. So lets all focus on trying to come up with one or two ideas for dealing with the binge issue - recognizing what triggers it and finding behavior or activites to avoid it. There is good couseling out there and I hope anyone who gets it and learns things will share the gems. Years ago i learned in counseling  that i always ate about 20% too much and to therefore divide my portions into fifths and to stop before eating that last part. I learned that i needed to stop before I got uncomfortable; now a really important lesson with the sleeve as overeating can be so uncomfortable. I learned that just because some candy is sitting around somewhere I am not missing out on life or some great thing because I skip it. WE all have to find what mental tricks work as the sleeve is the tool but the real weight loss organ is between the ears. Its often said our surgeons don't operate on our brains, but mine at least gave me the confidence to believe I could do this in spite of repeated past failures. Maybe thats the starting point. You can do this. You really can.     diane

Yes! This is me, too. I would never eat the WHOLE ice cream or ALL the candy or cookies either, but waaay waay too much and then the next day I would fini**** off.

I am also a bad grazer, and I'm noticing a real tendency to want to do way less mindful eating...I catch myself standing in front of the refrigerator looking for something to eat. I've been trying to snack on dill pickles, celery with light ranch dressing, marinated artichoke hearts when I get that urge--using techniques from my "dieting days", and so far that has helped. It's still calories that I don't need, but at least they're not sweets, and I do get full pretty quickly with my wonderful sleeve.

I had way too many sweets over the holidays, so I'm trying to detox from that. I find that when I'm really in control of my eating, I can have two hershey's dark chocolate kisses or a hard candy and be done. But if I've been eating too many sweets, then I don't stop with the small portions. I would really like to have control all the time over those things, but it may not be in the cards for me!

Anyway, this has been a wonderful thread and I like hearing everyone's coping mechanisms!

L.

ya know trader joes has this excellent low carb sugar free dark chocolate. really excellent. wouldn't know it from the real thing and its low cal. just having some available is somehow comforting even though i bought it a month ago from a trip and haven't touched it. there is milk choc the same way but I haven't eaten that yet.  D

Great idea.. I would love to share my strategies and hear others. Here are some strategies I use that have helped me:

- I choose abstinence with binge foods.  I accept that I am an addict and not "normal", so I treat those foods like an alcoholic would treat alcohol.. not one taste.  Some people might try to negotiate those foods and dance with the devil many times to figure out what they can get away with, but I've lost that game too many times.  I have learned to accept all of the great things I gain with that choice, and focus on that instead of giving up.

- I measure my food.. I'm not always consistent with this, and I'd like to get better at this habit, but when I set up a specific portion I always do better than when I let my emotions choose for me.

- I try to set up guards for myself like keeping my kryptonite foods out of the house (fresh baked cookies, fresh sourdough bread)

- When I do have a special meal, I try to plan special treats that are NOT binge foods for me.  For me that might be Bernaise sauce on filet mignon, or full fat goat's milk mozzarella

- I plan lots of non-food rewards.. for my birthday and holidays I buy myself trips to the spa or a good movie or a pedicure

- I try to separate my feelings from my food.. I try to see that I shouldn't use food for comfort, entertainment, socializing or anything else. I try not to "use" food or feel obligated to eat something inappropriate to spare someone else's feelings. It's more important for me to take care of myself.

- I try to view food as something that is meant to nourish my body, and I look at binge foods as something that my body doesn't need.  Especially with this surgery, if I make a bad choice I deprive my body of the protein and nutrients my body really does need, if I can't fit it in.

- I always have something cooked and ready to go, so if in the heat of the hunger, I want to eat something, it's just as easy and convenient to grab something good for me that I've made than something junky.

- I keep an insulated tote full of food and drinks with me at all times so I have good foods with me and no excuses to eat junk.

- I have a scheduled time to eat, so I don't leave it up to the whim of when I "feel" like eating (I can't trust my emotions with food.. I have to have a logical plan).  I eat every 3 hours, so if it's  not time to eat, I don't eat unless I have a really good reason.  I find 3 hours works great for me as it's not too long of a time, not too short.  It's short enough that I can manage to coax myself to wait, but long enough to not be grazing.

- I avoid or limit foods that prompt hunger and cravings, such as artificial sweeteners, chemicals, hidden sugars, etc.

- I take supplements that help with cravings such as chromium, b vitamins, l-glutamine, l-carnitine

- I try to use tools to help me cope with emotions as they come instead of waiting to turn to the food.  I exercise, I try to journal, I call friends and vent, I play solitaire or I take a hot bath with a good book.

- I really, really *got* the cost of eating bad foods and how little return I was getting on that. To eat and enjoy that food might take just a few minutes, but then I'd get days and days of sickness, weight gain, guilt, unhappiness, etc. Once I realized the price I was paying for having a party in my mouth and being ruled by my taste buds, and accepted it and realized how sad it was that foods and flavors had taken over my life.

- Support is important and I try to stay involved in my local group and OH and a few people I've met through this site.

very good list, very interesting.

the food treats that are not binge foods is something I do as well. for some reason hard candy has worked for this, I know huh? sugar!  but I can have just one for some reason. I have been experimenting on using a glass of wine for this. emphases on ONE glass. I have been having heavy cream in my coffee lately and next week am having labs done - interesting to see what my Cholesterol is at.

carrying food with me so I have healthy options is something I almost always do. you really have to.

throwing away food! it is sometimes hard to do this (waste! I can just hear my Mom saying) but lots of time I buy food that it turns out I don't want. so one bite and I throw it out.

cutting back on caffeine is helpful albeit hard for me  - I have less urge to binge and I make better food choices in general.

I don't do a time limit, it makes me anxious. I tell myself that when I am hungry I can eat & this is working.

I do have to keep some foods out of the house and probably forever:  ice cream, pastry, I think other things might come home as single servings sometime.

separating eating from emotions: there is the biggie!!  still trying to do that!

working on life in general!  I binge eat so as to run away from feelings - so I work on accepting my feelings. I binge to avoid thinking about things I am stressing over -work, money - so now I work on improving those areas of my life.

I feel like I haven't said anything new here but that's all I have for now.

I used to always like savory dishes more than sweet things, sure id eat desert but if i was at a party i would always head for the savory things first.

I guess part of that was changed by moving to america, most of the savory things unless i bake them are not available here.

Most of the deserts i used to eat are also not available here unless i make them so that helps alot,
my fav cake is carrot cake and most places dont make a decent one so that helps me too.

so i  limit my baking, another treat i found i "like" is baklava but its only available at the holiday season in most stores so that helps too. I wont go out trying to hunt down a store to buy it.

Is it enough im not sure, it shocks me that i have had no desire to eat candy or chocolates.. chewing gum seems to have helped me there.


I too try to eat only every three hours, but if i have a trigger food in the house like pie i cant stay away from it. until its gone.

where are you from, Linda?

as for not wanting to eat candy, that may change. we are all different, of course, but I found that most sweets were way too sweet mostly until my 2nd year as a post op.

Im from New Zealand, so although i miss alot of the food, its a probably good thing for me now i have had vsg.. except i do miss that all our meat sold even in stores was grass fed and my eggs were free range.. its noticable the different colour in milk, cheese, eggs, butter between  here and there lol.
and even though you do sell cadbury chocolate here out of the 23 flavours they have, you only get 3 and my fav black forest  is not one of them LOL.. although i have seen other things like flake bars here and a couple of others we do have...