I have Binge Eating Disorder

I have definitely done a lot of eating due to both boredom and loneliness but my biggest emotion I try to avoid is anxiety. I binge when I feel stress and I eat to comfort myself when I feel anything unpleasant but usually stress.

anxiety is just a feeling - I want to be able to SIT with it and let it pass.

This is also the case for me.. I call it food addiction or "volume eater" although it is technically called Binge Eating Disorder.  I prefer to call it food addiction as I think it is a much more relatable term.  Having surgery has spotlighted those behaviors for me.

Like you I can binge on anything, but I don't even start with the carbs.  I just celebrated a year abstinence from carby foods, but my BED is still alive and kicking.  Other foods don't trigger me as strongly, but I can binge on anything.  Gray area foods for me are cheeses and nuts.. I tend to want to binge on those.

Now I physically have a cap on my binging, so I just want to eat more frequently.  I use a lot of tricks to help with this, like only allowing myself to eat at a set time (and not because I feel a certain way, or because of physical or emotional cues), measuring my food, picking food that is really low calorie so I can eat more of it, etc.  I have not gotten at the root cause of my BED yet.

My drive now is to want to eat frequently since the compulsion is still there for me.  I have to work on this every day and try to manage it.  Hormones make it especially difficult to manage, so I chart my cycle so I can at least not be confused when the compulsion is very strong monthly.

I take supplements also that help me a bit with the physical aspects such as iron, chromium, l-glutamine, l-carnitine and b vitamin complex.  I find it disturbing to feel those desires even in those times I give in or even when I don't. I also find I want to eat more than I want to drink, so I struggle with being under-hydrated.

I had an abusive step-mother who virtually starved me for a time (only allowed me to eat small portions), and that was what started things for me when I was a teenager.  When she would be away from the house I would binge on anything I could carefully sneak around the house before she could get back.

I have to say it gives me hope to see that some of you who are at are near goal are still struggling with this, because I keep thinking that my struggle with this will keep me from ever getting anywhere near goal.

I play solitaire when I am watching TV to keep my hands busy which helps me with the urge to binge.  Thanks for bringing up this topic!

good grief, I would be so angry at that step mother I would eat and never stop! what a *****!

although I have had no trouble getting to goal and staying there, I honestly think it's still the honeymoon period for me and I will gain if I don't figure this out. hence this post!

I know there have been arguments about calling it an addiction to food. I feel it doesn't matter what we call it, just if the words are useful for understanding & explaining it.

many feel they are carb addicts. I know if I eat many empty/bad carbs I then want more, and more, and more so it makes sense to call it that. I feel they actually make me feel hunger, makes sense if your sugar spikes and then plummets.

for me, I feel I am addicted to certain behaviors. the mindlessly stuffing in food and feeling out of control like I can't stop. the wanting to eat past being full, past discomfort, sometimes past pain.

I definitely binge on sugar. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I have no interest in binging
on anything else.

I hate it when I know an event is coming up where I will allow myself sugar. Today was a perfect example. Today is my friend's birthday. She called me and invited me over for cake and ice cream. I didn't want to tell her that I am trying to lose what I gained between my birthday  on 10-25 and New Years, because after all, it's her birthday. She told me she had chocolate cake, and all week long I've been thinking about that cake.

I don't have any self control if there is sugar around. My co-worker is always munching on trail mix, m&ms etc.   It's so hard to see it.

It's definitely a life long battle that I don't ever see changing. If I eat low carb, I don't crave sugar as much, but then if I see it, I have absolutely no control. I just have to keep it away and avoid places where I know people will be having desert.

If anyone has any answers, I would love to hear them!

I have a lot of thoughts on this topic in general but really felt compelled to comment on your post, Sassy because it brings out some important issues. We all are binge eaters to one degree or another or we wouldn't have become morbidly obese. But we are fortunate to have a second chance through our wls and hopefully can maximize the benefits of that chance. But its critical to surround ourselves with supportive friends and avoid the ones who sabatage us. Now I am not saying that your friend with the birthday who offered the chocolate cake had any motive other than wanting to celebrate her birthday and have you participate, but you must get the courage to tell her that your surgery and health situation makes it really imperitive that you not be around chocolate cake and could you bring your own protein pudding instead of cake or go to starbucks and get a sugar free drink instead? I always had a terrible time resisting all the sweets and things that were around the office i used to work in but that was pre sleeve. I now work in an art studio and there are still lots of sweets and treats there but I find it easier (didn't say easy) to pass them up. but I do have this sort of reflex urge to grab some of those hershy kisses when i walk by and I have to remind myself that i just don't do that any more. Not saying I will never eat one - just that I wont today and I won't most days.

So reach out to your friend on her birthday and find some way to tell her and show her how special she is to you and find someting fun you can share without that chocolate cake. It might be really hard to do this this time but each time will be easier and your friend should understand and be proud of you.

Before wls I had no control at all when faced with sweets and carbs and now find it just easier keep that stuff away and plan how i will handle it if faced with the stuff. The more you do it the more automatic it becomes. I am hoping the longer I can keep these habits the more likely they will stick. Anyway, wish your friend a happy birthday and I hope you can celebrate it with her without overdoing the cake. but it you do , well, you learned from it and start anew the next day and work on protein. all the best. diane

I have to agree.. I don't see why you should feel bad telling your friend you need support with the sugar addiction?  I love proverbs and I think there is a good one that fits this:

Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.

 If she is really a good friend she'll understand and support you staying away from sugar, and if she isn't she won't.  There are countless ways to celebrate a birthday beautifully that don't include cake and ice cream, but are just as fabulous.

I haven't had cake on my birthday for 7 years now.. I don't mind at all.  I always treat myself to the spa on my birthday, and if my friends want to take me out I always say let's go get Pedis!

I spent a long time recovering from my stepmother's abuse. There were a bunch of other things she did like verbally and emotionally abuse me and ridicule me, physically beat me and chased after me threatening me with butcher knives.  I learned to forgive her long ago and I can honestly say I don't hold any anger towards her, because I am who I am and that's part of me.

In fact I saw her a few years ago because I still keep in touch with my ex-stepsister and my father needed to get in touch with her.  I actually did something very kind for her (long story) which was very healing for me to realize I no longer have anger or hatred towards her consuming me.

However the after effects of the abuse continue I think in the eating behaviors that were once adaptive to the situation I was in.   I also consider myself a carb addict AND a food addict, because while carbs are my real trigger (the strong drug) I can and do USE any food to numb or deal with feelings, which is USING food for emotional reasons rather than nourishment.

I know my friend would have been supportive if I told her I didn't want the cake. The problem is,
 I DID want the cake. I love chocolate cake.

It made me really sick. I've dumped before, but not in awhile. It happends when it's high sugar and high fat.

I was so dizzy , I could hardly drive home. I layed on my bed for a couple of hours feeling horrible, and then the diarrhea started. I finally had to take Imodium  because it just would not stop.

I had a protein drink for dinner cause I knew I needed some protein, but that cake was like a punishment to me for the rest of the day after I ate it, because I could not get out of bed for hours.

Ah you wanted the cake.. got it. :)  Although I've tamed that particular demon (for now), I can totally relate because I still have the urge to eat more than I should, even though I might feel sick, like multiplepetmom said. 

Personally I think it's that same problem.. just expressed differently, you know?  Even though you don't feel good after you eat cake, I bet that won't stop you from wanting it later, right?  I wish there were some good solutions to this.. I don't have any but I sure can relate. Hugs...