Success

I can relate to this......

First consult with surgeon......

He says..... I'm think we can get you to 180 (from 338)

I say...... nice...... but I was thinking 175...... he said That would be great!

Fast forward........ to 175......He was happy (and I was also) I was at "Goal"

Than I ask him about going to 170...... He says Go for it!

Get to 170....... I tell him.... I'm thinking 165......He says you can go to 160 if you want

I weigh in at his office at 157........ He says "Perfect" right at 100%

So now what?????

I'm thinking my last Goal weight should be 155 (I weigh 155.2 right now)

But if 155 is my goal weight.... I need to get down to 150 flat to give me some room to work ?????

My thought through all this was..... As long as I was in losing mode.....Going 200 miles an hour....why stop the car now .....just keep going till I get there.

I'm finding that your body tells you where your true goal weight is.... for me the last 15 pounds has been a fight and these next 5 pounds will be a struggle.

So for real.... I have found my true goal and weight range..... My broad range will be to live life in the 150's with 155 as my weight with a tight range of 153-157

I think I can make the statement that you won't hear me talking about the 140's..... Key word "think"

frisco

I can definitely relate. I've posted about this, it's been the hardest struggle for me since this journey began.

I'll preface this by saying that I've been told that I hide my true weight well. When I was 357 many people thought I was under 300. At 215 I've gotten comments that I look like I'm about 180.

My surgeon doesn't like to set goals for his patients. I pressured him into giving me one and he said he would be happy seeing me get into the mid 200's. I asked him how's 220 he said that's good but really it's what you feel comfortable at and your body will know when to stop.

So 220 was what I set my goal at. As I got close to 220 I received many comments from close friends and family that I've lost too much weight. My wife was also telling me I should stop. I've lost enough.

I hit 220 and of course I felt like I could keep going. The inner voice inside was saying "wouldn't it be nice to go from obese BMI to an over weight BMI. All you would have to do is drop another 6 pounds and you'll be there." So I dropped down too 210. Then the voice said "Wouldn't it be nice to get to onederland?"  But then I noticed how gaunt I was beginning to look. If I kept listening to that voice I'll end up looking like a stick figure. So I told my inner self to go to hell. And I increased my weight back to 215. I decided to keep my weight range between 215 and 220. 

It's been a struggle and to be honest The inner voice may still prevail. Especially since I see many men going for the Normal BMI.

My Surgeon told me he considers me a success as I lost more than 65% off my excess weight. When I use a EWL calculator. It says I've lost 81%. I don't consider myself a success. I don't consider myself normal. I still see myself as a fat person. Not sure when I'll come to a new realization. But It is, what it is.  

I've decided to take this day by day.

Hey Mikey I must comment. YOu say you have lost 81% excess weight by the charts and that you have decided upon the 215 range as right for you where you feel good  and no doubt look good. So as far as I'm concerned, you have lost 100% of your excess weight. You did what you set out to do and you got where you want to be and feel good. So just remember that - you acheived 100% success by the only standard that matters - how you feel in your own (perhaps slightly deflated LOL) skin!    u done good. Diane

Thanks Diane for your kind words.

But I'm still conflicted every day I flip on what I should do. I also see MacMadame words below and I have come to many of those conclusions as well about what "everyone" is saying.

The truth is I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied. There's two goals that I have set for myself that I never reached. The first is to get off my medication. The second is to get rid of my Man boobs.

My PCP actually raised my blood pressure meds. The dosage has doubled since surgery. I had a followup visit today a month after he raised it and my blood pressure is normal. He said this is where he wants my pressure to be and wants me to stay on the meds. He did tell me that my BP problems may be more genetic than weight related but in the back of my mind I wonder if loosing more would help. The Moobs were just starting to deflate when I stopped loosing. 

Granted that the Moobs would be replaced by sagging skin. But I think that's part of my conflict. Will I ever be happy with my weight loss?

I even tried to force my self financially to stop loosing weight by buying a new wardrobe including dress suits. I know if I loose more I'll be tossing all that money out the window because I'll have to get smaller clothes.  

The last couple of days I've seem to have lost my mind and am eating all the wrong things. I gained 2 pounds this week and I'm afraid of getting on the scale tomorrow morning. 

I know from the numbers that I've done very well. But I'm still not fellin it. 

I think time helps with this. So does starting to eat to maintain. Once you do that, your body reacts. You may get hungrier. It's harder to deprive yourself. You're in a different place mentally but also physically (i.e., your hunger hormones change). I think this is where the "bounce back" comes from.

Also, once you get down to the fine-tuning stage, the actual # on the scale doesn't really tell the whole story. I've been 120 and had my pants be loose and I've been 118 and had them be tight.

The big measure for me now is body fat %. If I slack off, I lose muscle and gain body fat and feel bloated and my clothes get tight -- yet my weight on the scale may not change at all!

As for people's comments... not all can be taken seriously. People make comments because

(a) they are jealous/threatened by the thinner you,

(b) they are so used to seeing you fat that anything 'not fat' looks good to them. (These are the ones telling you that you look skeletal when your BMI still puts you in the obese or overweight category.),

(c) society as a whole is getting fatter so everyone's standards are a bit looser than they used to be,

(d) sometimes people mean to be flattering but they aren't good at complementing or we aren't good at hearing compliments and then the complement is delivered/interpreted in a backhand way.

(e) because we lose weight so fast, it can be uneven and we have parts of our body that are gaunt. So we do look "too thin" in areas like the face and collarbones even though we still have fat in our lower torso (which is more easily hidden).

So just because "everyone" is telling you not to lose more, doesn't mean they are right and you are wrong. If your surgeon or NUT is saying you are getting unhealthily thin, that's different.

Then again, sometimes they are right (or maybe just not wrong) and we can't see that we're done because

(a) we have a number in mind for the scale and we aren't at it -- even though we look fantastic!

(b) we see our loose skin and it makes us feel fat even though there isn't fat there (very common)

(c) we have serious body dismorphia that actually requires therapy to deal with. (very rare)

One thing I remind myself of all the time is that I have about 10 pounds of loose skin on various parts of my body. So whatever my weight is, it's really 10 lb. lighter in terms of what really matters.

I also remind myself all the time that I *wanted* to gain muscles and I have and I want to keep them even if that means the number on the scale is higher than it used to be.

Amen! Thank you all...