Maintenance is for grown folk, not chirren. An xpost

A huge part of maintenance ought to be the changing of our relationship with food, how we talk about it, consider it, et cetera. I guess, that is how I see it.  Maybe its not for everyone, because maybe not everyone had the same issues with food that I did, which is cool, because you know, a nice batch of snowflakes we are.  :} 

It hurts my heart when I see folk in maintenance using victim words, because we are not you know.  We are incredibly blessed we had this chance to get help, and we worked hard to get to goal, whatever that looked like.  But then sometimes folks flip back into the immature part, we talk just like the newbies on the boards, we use victim words and act as if someone did *this* to us (shoved cookies in our mouth, stood on the scale while we were weighing, et cetera).

Some stuff happens in life, sometimes we lose focus, sometimes we thought it would always be "that easy" and sometimes its not, but "wishing/hoping/praying" that we are going to be miracled out of cir****tances never helped before.  Why would they help now?
_____

Food isnt good or bad, food is just food.   You have more nutritious choices and less nutritious choices. 

Is it okay to have poorer nutritional choices every now and again?  Sure - every now and again - but ask yourself - WILL you just have it every now and again?  If you start, will you keep on going back, especially if the first time or two you dont pay scale consequences?

Nothing is a "no-no."  You are a grown up, and you need to think of food like a grown up (sorry if that sounds ugly, the intent is not, but the truth of it is what it is).

You are an adult.  You make choices.  You pay consequences for some of those choices.  This is not a religion. There is no repenting. There are no monsters. Nobody made you do anything.  You make choices. You deal with repercussions. End. Of. The. Story.

Are these the foods you intially got fat on?   When you have these foods every once in a while, do you just enjoy them and move on to better nutritional choices the NEXT MEAL?  Or - do you think about them more and more now, since you fed the craving?  How did you feel after you ate it?  Did you feel satisfied?  DId you feel sneaky or guilty?  

So, nobody can answer the question for you - cuz nobody is you, but HONESTLY - answer yourself the questions - Can I HANDLE these foods every once in a while, or are they a slippery slope to a place I dont even need to allow myself to look at?

I suggest a book called Thin Commandments Diet (Stephen Gullo is the author).  Its not really a diet, per se, but it has great tools on looking at food historically versus calorically.  (By the by - I only am endorsing the food boxing in and out - I do not follow the diet portion).

If I have NEVER been able to eat 2 cookies and 2 cookies ends up equalling a bag of cookies plus whatever else I binge on - then it doesnt MATTER how many calories 2 cookies has - if I WILL eat the entire bag, see?

He says, there are no good or bad foods, just good and bad food HISTORIES.  

There are some things I enjoy OUT, and once a month MAXIMUM, cuz in my home they equal trouble, and stopping by the store to get me "some" equals trouble, those things are Lime Flavored Tostitos, house fried rice and pizza. 

I have the chips (once a month max - cuz that seems to be all my brain can handle before it starts to whisper I could get some and just not TELL anyone which ya know? If i have to HIDE it, then I dont need to be DOING it) at party functions - and again, only once a month.  We dont go out to eat much so I dont have the Chinese food or the pizza even nearly once a month - but I KNOW if I bring them home - then I will start the old ugly cycle.

You know, alcoholics have to DRINK - they just need to CHOOSE to not drink booze.

Folks with food sensitivities have to eat, they just need to CHOOSE not to eat the things that cause them to binge. 

All addicts have the same "problem" which is we react poorly to our triggers - which are usually feelings that are uncomfortable for us - for me, even being elated will bring on bingey feelings.

So - think about it and then you can answer the question for yourself, cuz here, nobody can answer FOR you. 

I track everything, even if I make crazily poor nutritional choices, cuz honesty will keep me from the place of denial I used to live in.   If you cant be honest with yourself, then - that's some trouble, my sistas and bruthas.

I just wanted to point this out, during this holiday season, when so many of us toss the words "good/bad/cheating" around.  Those words are for when we are MADE to do something with some outside entity judging us. 

Nobody cares about your journey more than you. No really. NOBODY CARES.  YOU DID THIS FOR YOU!! 

So, make a choice to eat something/drink something that is not nutritionally sound.  Enjoy that thing.  But Jamming sticks in your eyes and then crying because your eyes hurt makes no sense at all for grown folks, ya know? 

If you're going to play, you are going to pay!  Maybe it will not show up on the scale tomorrow, will it show up in a habit you cannot put down?  Will it manifest in not being able to lose weight for a month because you have wonked up your system a bit and it needs to reset?

Maybe - but look, we are grown folk!  Make choices and deal with consequences.  Sometimes we enjoy the consequences, sometimes we do not.

Enjoy the choices you make. Make better choices if you KNOW you are leading yourself into being some food's ***** or if the scale moving means SO MUCH TO YOU. 

So, make educated choices knowing the consequences!  Make sure they are worth it and enjoy every second of that choice! 

Life is too short for us to go around crying about our bleeding eyeholes when we have the offending sticks in both of our hands!

Be sweet to yourselves and honsetly count the cost of the decisions you make!  Sometimes its WAY worth it, sometimes?  Not so much!  But either way - do your best to keep promises you made to yourself.

Be sweet!  Love your people! 

Peace out Klownz!

Excellent, BW!  Thank you.  I will read your post over several times today, because I saw myself many times in your words.
--Dorothy

 Yup.

Keeping it real.  I love it.

Thanks for taking the time from your busy day to share this frank and honest obeservation with the rest of us. 

At the end of the day, weight loss is such a deeply personal journey, and I appreciate the deep comments regarding "good and bad" and "guilt." 

You rock.

Theresa

You more than got it! I printed this out and need to read it  DAILY.

 Well said, Brandi, well said

Thanks for this post, Brandilynn!
L.

Most excellent post!!

nice! 

I would like to add, look at those aspects of your pre-op life that didn't work and don't do them again.

for me,  the "five day pouch test" is not a good idea. not because I don't have a pouch, which I don't, but because I was always doing Crash Diets and that's what this is. it only makes me feel like later I "deserve" to binge.  if it's different for you, fine, I'm saying for me  another crash diet is not a good thing.

it's part of the whole what the hell I am off track so might as well....you know! and then I will start over.

there is no start, no diet.
 
only life!

Thank you for this, Brandilynn!!! Happy holidays darlin' :)