Do you guys understand???

Even though I met my posted goal of 135, I really wanted to get to 125 by the end of this year. 

I am part of a Holiday Challenge and have been working hard to  make that goal.  Today, I posted this on that Challenge site: 

So, just 2 weeks ago, I posted in the New Year's Challenge that I hit 126.0 with a goal of 125 by New Year's Day. I was so excited to think that I could really hit my "ultimate" goal of 125. It was so close ... I could (pardeon the expression) "taste" it.

Well, I noticed that I was bouncing a pound or two, but didn't worry so much since my period was just around the corner. Well, that finished off last Friday. Still been bouncing all week.

Well, today, the scale showed 130.2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?! I am doing nothing different. How can I be up 4.2 pounds in 2 weeks? (I can't bear to change my ticker, so just know that I am lying today.)

I'm sure it's water weight, planets aligning, the phase of the moon or some such nonsense. But, today I am feeling very discouraged and fat - Like the "old me". I hate this obessing about my weight. I'm ready to be done with it.

I could really use a pep talk.


The responders totally don't get it.  Many of them are in the first few months of weight loss.  I know they mean well by encouraging me & saying that I'll get there.  But, I'm freaking out a bit.  If I'm doing all the "right" things, why am I gaining???  I can see not losing - a body should only go so low ... but GAINING????

Any suggestions for how to stop freaking out??? 

All I hear in my head is all the nay-sayers "most people with WLS eat around the surgery and gain it all back".  I swear I'm not eating around anything.  I'm logging in my foods & eating the same things I have for the past 3-4 months while I'm been happily losing ...

Girlie are you working out?  have you started working out?

If you are eating the same thing NOW that you were for the past 3 to 4 months and losing - then your body probably is fine where its at with the cals you are consuming and you are going to have to crank something up or down, cals down, exercise up or both. 

The only way to stop freaking out is to focus on something that is not the thing freaking you out - or to TELL yourself something different about the cir****tances.  Because what you are telling yourself is "All I hear in my head is all the nay-sayers "most people with WLS eat around the surgery and gain it all back". "

Right?  Those are the words in your head, because you are not putting OTHER things in there.  who knows, maybe you need to poop, or maybe you are sleep eating, but!! 

I guess my questions are.

Are you working out.  If so, did you just start?
*ARE YOU MEASURING YOURSELF IF YOU ARE WORKING OUT??

I do not have any words that will be satisfying though, I am afraid, because I cannot override what you are letting swirl around in your head girlie. 

Please be sweet to you.

****edit to add, even though its not helpful, but its relevent - this is EXACTLY why I encourage people to NOT do "challenges" about X weight by X time - too much that cannot be controlled.  Challenge what you can control - because the thing is, you have totally discounted all the work you have done - because of one thing you cannot control.

be sweet..

Yes, I think we can all relate to how you are feeling.  Those fears of 'gaining it all back" are always just around the corner for us since we all gained and lost and gained so many times before.  I think what will help you is to have a plan. Something like this.

1) Journal everything and I mean everything you put in your mouth for one week.
2) How many calories are you taking in really?
3) Drinking more, if it is applicable.
4) Increase exercise
5) Increase protein, and decrease carbs while keeping your cals the same.
You get the drift.  Focus on action rather than the feelings around this gain.  It really could be just nothing bu****er weight, or it could be the beginning of the dreaded 10 lb rebound we hear about. Your body could have gotten very comfortable at this new calorie diet, and started to work less efficiently.  Either way, it's ok as long as you catch it early ( and you have) and don't stick your head in the sand about it.  Weigh yourself everyday and stay proactive and involved.  That is what is different this time, you are in charge and will not hide, plus you have us, your secret weapon.  You are going to kick those last five pounds butt!!!

yep i have been there where just close enough to taste it, and then bounce away, it is probably water weight  because you have dropped another 10lbs almost, your body is probably holding its water while your dropping inches and then youll probably drop another size and then let go of the water lol...

last thing you need to do is stress, enjoy where you are... It amazes me how our brains are always so ready to jump back into the old way of thinking... almost like trying to give us an excuse to go off track....

but logically you know that your eating is the same so i agree with brandy mix things up a bit so you get the scale moving again....

I definatly understand the feeling of being done trying to lose, for me it was a relief to say im done LOL although for me nothing has really changed except i dont have to be so constantly on top of things i can now live a little and enjoy life with monitoring and if i see a gain then back off...

Thanks to everyone for your replies.  Seeing the scale go into a new set of numbers (from 120's to 130's) really did a number on my head today.  I will press forward and continue to follow the rules.  (Though a Reese Cup sure sounded tempting!)

I appreciate this board more than I can express!

I can relate to how you are feeling.. for me it was the same head trip getting from the 300's to the 200's.  You have been working so hard lately to get to your ultimate goal, I can imagine it is frustrating!

Are you sure you didn't eat too much salt or carbs or something recently?  Did you start taking any new vitamins, go swimming, have constipation?  Could your scale be whacky?  Did you not drink enough water or start taking any new meds?

I can totally relate to what you are saying about being hyper vigilant.  It's like on one hand you don't want to get upset and stress about minor fluctuations (or even not so minor).  On the other hand you can't just be like an ostrich and stick your head in the sand because you might end up regaining if you don't pay attention.

It can take a while to get into that happy rhythm, which is why I think that this maintenance board is so important.

Stuff like this can drive you nuts if you let it. But think about it. You would have had to have eaten an extra 15,000 calories to really have gained that weight and you know you haven't.  So its water or maybe even the weight of bad thoughts roaming around in your head. Or scale is off or gravitational annomolies. Whatever it is it will likely dissapate fairly quickly. I bet you still get to that goal by Jan ! but even if you don't , don't let that spoil the tremendous accomplishment you have made. You have done so well and this is not worth hyperventalating about. Just makes you unhappy. And if you feel like you can't just wait and keep doing what you are doing and have to take some action, then do what my surgeon told me to do which is up your protein another 10 g per day and increase fluid. It did work and I only did it for a month. Meanwhile, recognize that your body does not do an audit at midnight every night and make a net debit or credit. We are all complex organisms with a million factors affecting weight and we operate 24 hours a day and adjustments occur on a continuum and not at a certain time on the clock or calendar. So know that you will get to that goal when its time for your body to do so and making yourself crazy will do no good. Find a nice distraction and do some yoga breathing. And good luck. you will get there i have no doubt. Diane

I can so empathize with you. I had been comparing myself to the other October VSGers and had set a weight/deadline of 199 by New Years for myself. I'm not even close. The negative dialogue quickly took hold and it didn't take me look to realize how destructive it could be.

First, give yourself a huge pat on the back for recognizing that you needed some "talking down". My guess is that's a change in habit from before your surgery. Second, I've been doing some reading into holidays,stress and what it does to our bodies. There's some thought that during this time of year, especially women, tend to become stressed with everything going on with kids, work, holidays, etc. Perhaps the challenged added a little stress? I don't know. What can happen when we're stressed is that we produce extra adrenalene and cortisol which can make us retain fluids. If this holds true,hopefully the scale will drop soon for you.

Lastly, you've been given some excellent advice above! You know how to lose it. Look how far you've come! You've done wonderfully! Unfortunately, it comes off on it's own time. Just trust your body and ditch the timetable. You'll get there! If you can turn that negative dialogue back into a positive direction you'll be heading the right direction again. Lisa

like Brandi says, be sweet to yourself. would not hurt at all if you totally accepted yourself where you are right now. whatever the damn number is.

the number doesn't matter and this kind of "challenge" in not helpful, IMO.  you need to get back to focusing on how far you have come and how good you look and feel right now.

I do realize that is easy to say!  kind of like "don't worry"!

I think I kind of went through the same thing post goal, lasted about a year. I remember going to my plastic surgeons office with a BMI of 20 and I could have cried, with body dysmorphia I had no idea what I really looked like. I finally just blurted out... GIVE ME A NUMBER! He looked at me like the crazy lady I was and said what number. I asked how many more pounds I should lose?

He looked at me with that 'she's a crazy lady face' again and explained if I didn't gain weight he wasn't going to do my plastics. I asked him, when he was in medical school and he was taking that class that determine fat vs. thin, did he pass?

He looked me square in the eye and said, "Michelle, you are THIN! Very thin, too thin!"

For some reason that is the medicine I needed and I began to quit obsessing over the numbers.

You'll get there too, but it takes time!