Ugh!!! My MIL is visiting for a month and all I want to do is munch!!!

So my non english speaking MIL is visiting for a month. It is so stressfull for me, she is the type of MIL who thinks her way is the correct way and if you aren't doing it that way then of course you are wrong. She'll sit there at dinner with my delicious (if I do say so myself) meal and describe all the thing that she would have done instead. Or ask my husband, in front of me, why I do this or that....  Anyway, my husband just told me that she told him she had to clean my kitchen tomorrow!! Nevermind the fact that I spent two days on my hands and knees scrubbing the cabinets, baseboards and floors and my house is clean and she has only been here for four days!

I told my husband that she could not just start cleaning. I understand (in theory) that she wants to help and she is probably bored, but it is still insulting. I told him she could help when I do my regular cleaning.

Now, all I want to do is munch...I want to run out and get chocolate. I just went through the kitchen looking for something to eat, but thankfully (and by design) i didn't find anything.

Just venting instead of eating...thanks for humoring me.

mary

Doesn't this stuff just drive you wild!  Write a post here every day of her antics and you will feel better. Remember that she probably can't think of anything more interesting or important to talk about and your anger may turn to pity. meanwhile, don't let it "eat " at you (lol i am so clever) and just remember its only for a few days I hope.  My mom used to do stuff like this only it wasn't about cooking or housework but It was starting an argument over absolutely some thing she thought I should do that I didn't want to do  and bringing it up over and over until I would blow up. Solution was to move 2000 miles. Every family has one.  Hang in there and don't let it spoil your holidays. Diane

My ex MIL was supposed to stay with us for 1 week which turned into 1 month...the longest month of my life. This was about 3 years ago. I was soooo happy when she left. She made Marie Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond's mom) look shy and non-opinionated. Oh boy, can I can relate to the kitchen cleaning critique! My ex MIL hated my garbage can, papertowel holder, coffee maker, kitchen clock, my swiffer, lol, nothing met her standards! Oh well, I grinned and beared it and poof she left. Yours will be a memory soon. Hang in there and try to see the humor in the craziness. Keep us posted and remember no one is worth bingeing on carbs over. Hugs!

I love it...'its not worth the carbs'  We should have shirts made up like that.

Meanwhile, I am now 'binging' on carrots and fage with ranch mixed in...kind of sad, LOL!

mary

Quick story: during my ex mil's visit, of course I always had a large beverage with all my meals. We were having dinner and I had to excuse myself from the table immediately after I finished my plate (no seconds for me around her, she thought I was HUGE!!) anyhow, I say excuse me, go to the bathroom and was only gone a minute but my plate was in the sink along with my untouched drink which she poured out in the sink. I was Livid! Kept my cool. I mean she saw me open and pour the contents into the glass.  Anyhow, I can laugh now but boy was I ticked off at the time! I think you'll feel the same one day, at least I hope you do lil bee!

My MIL is like this and I wanted to binge with her around for just a day.  Nowadays I'm extremely assertive with her because she does not respect boundaries.  

If you are comfortable with it, I would just make a comment like "Oh, are you telling me how to run my house again?".   If she kept it up I'd say, "you do realize I didn't ask for your opinion or advice right?".  Or I'd say "you know if you don't like it you can always leave".  

I'm very assertive and downright rude with my MIL because she doesn't respect any boundaries and that's the only way to really throw it right back at her.

Well, another aspect to the problem is that I speak spanish like a six year old and she doesn't speak any english.

You are right about no boundries. The whole family tends to be like that (which is why she is here for a month) My husband has gotten a bit better when dealing with her and me because he realizes how much stress it puts me under and will intercede on my behalf.

I used to bend over backwards to try and please her, but not anymore. For instance, yesterday, I had a pile of nice Banana Republic clothes and a pile of Goodwill clothes. The BR stuff I am going to sell so I can buy new clothes, but she wanted me to give it to her. I told her 'no, that I was selling it so that I could buy new clothes, but she could have anything else from the other pile'

Anyway, this is only day 5 five out of 30....I am sure this thread will get very long!

mary

Maybe you can try to look at this as a great opportunity to deepen your understanding of why and how you "eat" your feelings.  What if you turned this whole thing into one big experiment.  Every time she says or does something that bothers you, immediately check in with yourself and define your feelings.  Maybe even journal the incident and your emotional response.  See what feelings trigger you to eat and write that down too.  Try different things to see if they reduce your need to eat.  What happens if you say nothing? What happens if you just journal?  What happens if you say something back to her?  Pull yourself out of the situation and pretend you are a scientist doing this amazing research.  Good luck. 

This is really great advise.  It is kind of like trial by fire.  If I can figure out how to deal with all this this month and not gain weight, I will be good to go in dealing with regular everyday stress.  I'll be able to 'binge proof' myself, LOL!