More on Jackie's thread- out of sight, does it work?

I have to go to a Christmas party. Actually it's my ball room dance group's party. I love my ball room dances and classes. It's opened up a whole new world for me. There are no fat people in this group.

Now it's like I am afraid to go. I am trying so hard to lose what I gained between my birthday and Thanksgiving. This is the first time since I've been sleeved that when I went back to the protein first  rule, that the extra lbs didn't come back off. It will be so hard not to be drawn to the junk food table.

It's really scary to me also that I can eat so much more than I could a year ago. I remember when 4 bites of meat and I was stuffed. Today my daughter invited me to dinner and I ate my portion. She cut off a slice of pork which is the size which she has seen me eat in the past. I wanted to finish off my grandson's plate after I finished mine. I could have easily done it too!

It's so easy to be so thrilled with the sleeve for the first year. The weight comes off, the scale goes down, the hunger is mostly gone, and the sleeve seems like a miracle.

Maintenance is the real work. I am so afraid of regain! It's so scary!

I think you should go, you did not get the sleeve to not enjoy life, but make sure you eat protein first so if you do eat junk its limited.

because your trying to get the weight off, your going to be good right up to that night, you can get back on a all protein shake day the day after to drop the water weight gain if there is any... but go and enjoy your party and dance the night away.

I think that is fairly typical - the maintenance is the hard part.  I have been working on this part of a long time now and I guess it's for life.

I hope you go to the party and don't freak out about the food. try something - have a plan - and see if it works.  if it does, great!  if it doesn't, post about it and think of it as a learning experience.

you are way too scared:  keep in mind, you are allowed to have a good time! 

Yep.  We have to keep on living.  And, I for one, want food to be a part of that life.  I just love it--pure and simple.  But, I'm learning so much about myself in this process.  I just have to come to terms with the fact that my body isn't like the average bear, and I MUST stay mindful of carbs and empty foods OR be willing to work extra hard to burn them off later.  Sometimes, particuarly during holidays or on vacation--it's worth it. 

Go have fun.  I always say to myself, "will I wish I would not have done XXX" in the morning?"  That hardly ever applies to fun and entertaining events.  Just use the protein first rule and nibble on other things.  AND THEN DANCE YOUR BUTT OFF!

Another Theresa liveable quote:  "the more I more, the more I get to eat."  Sad, but true.....

I think the specifics of what you do at the party - try to not have any sugar, allow yourself this and this but not that, whatever the plan is - are less important than learning to relax and have some faith in yourself.

maintenance is possible. you can learn this!  think of it that way, as something you can and are learning, and be gentle with yourself. new stuff is hard!

do you ever say to yourself, I went out in public and learned to dance!  good for me! 

I know it's so hard to lose the pounds that come on. I gained 9 lbs after Thanksgiving, which was a lot of water weight but its been a b*#ch to get them off but I'm almost back down to my weight before the holiday so it can be done.

My suggesstion to you is to eat some dense protein before you leave for the party, this way you'll be satisfied and full and the goodies won't have much room. Go and have a good time, I believe you're going to do fine :)

Thanks everyone. I am going to do my best to stay away from the food table.


Jackie, you have been sleeved a little longer than me. Have you had any trouble with regain?

What about anyone else? Is it a constant struggle now to stay at goal? It didn't used to be for me but lately, it's been really hard and it's real dieting!

It really does scare me that I can eat quite a bit more than I could before, The work comes in  when just because I can, doesn't mean I should eat bigger portions.

I do not struggle to stay at goal, but I have some regulations about when and where I eat triggery foods.   I allow myself one MAYBE 2 "anything goes" meals a month, but that's it. 

But I also have a thing about not indulging in the same 2 trigger things those 2 times - say, tortilla chips - once a month, the end. No more.  otherwise I start trying to wheedle ways to have them in my regular breathing in and out life ALL THE TIME.  If its a holiday thing, I need to be a little picky - is it a thing I can ONLY have at this season/place?  Have it, but have it this ONE MEAL and then leave it be.

For me, and parties - I need to eat dense protein AS I WALK OUT THE DOOR, and then when I get there, I stay away from the food table until the night is MOSTLY over, because once I start I have an issue with stopping - unless its in a totally different room, but when the food table is in the same room as the "activity" then I need to not start until the night is mostly over.

I also have a rule about triggery plates of things - I need to not START on them unless there is a "reasonable amount" to FINISH. Because some things, once I start, I am compelled to eat until they are gone.  My friend makes these pretezel rollo pecan things - danger!  So, if there are 50 or 20 left I need to not start on them, because I WILL EAT THE REST OF THE PLATE.

If there are 10 and I know this is the only function I will encounter them?  I go on ahead.

But here's the thing - if I feel desperate and bingey going INTO a situation, I need to not indulge in those things, because if I am already in the grasp of something, if its already got its chemical altering hooks in me, the only way I can get back to "balance" is to not have it.  Not have SOME, but not have it.

I have this peanutbutter chocolate cheesey thing, that tastes like a Reeces that I eat daily, I have fit it into my nutritional macros and it keeps my sweet tooth from feeling neglected.  But honestly I like it SO MUCH that if there are too many of the treats to eat and finish - then I tell myself "do not worry, when you get home you can have your CCPNB burrito and that will be fine" and I do. 

So, even if I overdid my calories - I did not overdo it on something that was luring me back to its evil cwutches, so to speak.

Another thing just to point out - on the post I made when I shared Vitalady Michelle's back on track programs - something to note was

*Every* time she had a sugar gain, it took her LONGER to get rid of it than it did the time before.  While I know everyone's experience is not the same and what we have to do is not the same as everyone else - it was a big ol warning flag to me about loosening up. 

For me, I know the further out I get, the more I need to keep watch for all the possible transfers, and old bad habits, because the more normal I feel/seem/people treat me - the more dangerous the waters are.

And about the just because you can does not mean you should, for ME, this was a really important reason why I really still eat measured portions - because I DO believe we train our bellies that a certain "feeling" is FULL - and that full can change.  Satisfied with some, for me,
does not seem to waver around as much as FULL would, because I know times when I would eat to get drowsy puppy belly - full just never came.  I read so much about folks needing more and more for full - and it put a nice chunk of respect for not looking for full into me. 

Good luck girlie!  Whenever I go near sweet stuff, I think strong thoughts for you!!

And another thing - when you break this *****dom off of you - WHAT PLAN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE FOR NEXT TIME?

Because anyone in the throws of an addiction would tell you to look out and then share what they do to NOT get trapped again.

How will you not get trapped again?  Maybe kind of like in AA, practice your emotional muscles of acting "as if" ?

so far, I don't consider I have had regain. my goal was 135 and I bob around between 130 and 135.

I can eat more than even at 2 years out, however. I know regain will get easier and easier.

Personally I don't avoid situations with junk I can't eat, in the same way many alcoholics just deal with the fact that other people drink and they don't.  I might not go to a bakery like an alcoholic might not go hang out at a bar, but I go to enjoy the event not the food.  I love ballroom dancing too and used to do it a lot too.  I'd go and dance and eat before you go, and then don't eat anything there.