Blahhhh why can't I settle on a final goal weight??? Not happy...

Oh Fawn - kids are so brutal! They don't even mean what they say. You are tiny, girl!

The other day I was reading bikerchick's post where she posted pics of herself, and my daughter walked in said, "hey mommy, is that you?" and I said, "No, that's not me." and she said, "Oh. I was going say, why are you skinny there?" I was like, gee thanks. lol

One day she hit me with two insults. I can't even remember them now, but I know one was about my stomach. She'll be 6 in Feb so right around the same age!

Cheer up Mandy Girl!!  I think it's mostly PMS making you feel this way because it is NOT reality.  You are NOT fat whatsoever (that trainer was definitely a douche bag!) and you are not shaped like a linebacker or shaped funny!  Most women would kill to look like you...you are so gorgeous, beautiful and sexy!!  Now tell those ridiculous, lying voices to shut the hell up and enjoy your new body...you look FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!!

Aww thank you Kimberly! You're right, that guy IS an idiot! lol

And you and Fawn can share my boobs - one boob each. Hahaha

The Tanita scale that I use has an error margin of +/- 4% not 10%.   That would be way too big of an error margin.  I believe the hand-held devices have about the same error margin.. and the gold standard even has an error margin of +/-1-3% so those electrical devices are pretty accurate. In fact I use this more as a gauge to figure out where I need to be than my scale.

My body fat measures at 48% currently which means just my lean body mass (bones, muscles) without any fat is over 150 pounds. Like you I tend to be on the muscular/stocky build side and lifted weights heavily in high school, and am getting back into heavy lifting now.

If you are measuring body fat percentage at 29% you are just in the acceptable body fat percentage range for women so you could potentially lose more but you certainly aren't currently fat.  Personally I think you look AMAZING and are like the poster child for the VSG. 

If I were you I'd think about what it is inside you that NEEDS to be any smaller or a particular weight.   Is it to boost your self esteem, impress someone, because you are afraid to gain weight back, want to get to a particular goal, etc.?? 

Once you figure out what that inner reason is that explains why you aren't happy with where you are now, you can address that reason and decide if it's a good reason to keep pushing you or not. Maybe you do have a good reason to keep pushing on, maybe not.. but first you gotta dig deep and figure out what the reason is.

Ultimately it is beautiful when we can enjoy the PRESENT instead of always saying, I will relax and enjoy life when (insert some random goal here we want for the future).  I know it's easier said than done sometimes. 

You are doing fantastic and there are many people out there who are inspired by you.. if only YOU could be inspired by YOU.. that would be magic.

 

Thank you! Good advice. I do often wonder if I will EVER be happy. Some days I think I could be a skeleton and still think I'm fat. But I dont really know since I've never been close to skeletal. I dont think I'm a shallow person. I don't care what size other people are, so I'm not sure why I don't think my weight is "good enough" yet. I have stated before about how I feel like a fraud when people compliment me. Like somehow I'm tricking people and I'm not really (insert their compliment). I know it's a self-esteem issue, I just don't know how to get over the hump. Maybe it's as simple as Brandilynn says - a choice.

I see so many people at their goal weight and are so happy and not second guessing themselves all the time. I want to be content like that.

Simple it is.

Easy it is not.

For all the milliony zilliony times anyone has said ugliness to you, and then YOU have repeated those words to yourself, yall have essentially brainwashed you into believing those words.

For every time you HEAR you say those things to you, you have to, ON PURPOSE, challenge those thoughts.

Call BS on them.  We are deceived because we assume that we FEEL a thing, that the thing is TRUE. 

Just because a thought drops in your head, or a feeling washes over us, does not MAKE THEM TRUE. 

*WE* MAKE THEM TRUE, by repeating them to ourselves and then acting/reacting in kind.

Changing our mind - simple yes. 

Easy.  No.

But - we have done so many things that were simple, but not easy!  This is just one other part!  One important part that will help you take all the rest of the **** raining down in your life so much easier - if you can practice stopping just "feeling" or just accepting the thoughts and challenge them.

Are they TRUE.  Very likely, more than half the crap we feed ourselves (mentally word wise, not foodies) is not true, its not kind. 

It is not *helpful*

We deserve better! We just have to *learn* differently!  Its like writing with your nondominant hand! Its uncomfortable and it feels like its not worth the struggle - until you get a taste of victory! 

Then simple becomes a little easier!

I have the same struggle Mandy...and I am 197 5'6. My doctor wants me at 175 but I want to be 150! So I am struggling with what to do...My height says I should be 140ish but I just am big built and dont think thats realistic for me. I am also a slow loser due to PCOS so its hard to imagine how long 50 more pounds is going to take me ya know? Hang in there...you are beautiful!! and LOOK GREAT!

I have PCOS too!

I did an online calculator thingy and it said my "ideal" weight is 141 lbs. I do think that would be super slim for me, but I'm also finding that I'm not as hulky as I thought I was. I actually never expected to get below 180. But I'm just not sure with the extra skin that 140 would be attainable for me. When I was a lot bigger, 10 lbs didn't make much of a difference, but now 10 lbs shows a lot more - and comes off a LOT slower!

At this point, I think even with weight lifting I can get close to that, but I also think it will take a lot of work and dedication and I'm not sure how hard I want to work at it. Plus, I might look too thin at that weight. I have no idea..

Gosh honey, I'm 5'7 and 134...very skinny IMO.  I just went jean shopping and bought 2's and 4's depending on brand and cut.  But I have a very small frame.  My rib cage under my boobs is 29", my feet are size 7, wrist 5.5", skinny ankles, waist 26.5 but wide hips at 37".  I am a typical hour glass build.  I cannot put on the muscle that Brandi can...my body doesn't bulk that way no matter how heavy I lift.  And you know I lift heavy.  And I've been doing it for 12 years!  But I know I'm lean cause with my lower body lift, they only removed about 2.5lbs of skin but a lot of volume...a 6" band all the way around.

You're not even a year out yet, so calm the f*** down.  I lost 25 more pounds during my second year!  You sound so much like me...obsessive about your body.  I say, just keep lifting and pushing hard in the gym and gradually you will reduce more.  But, what size is your frame?  That makes a huge difference.  Don't stress so much, you'll get there.  It just may take some time.  After all, Rome wasn't built in a day!!

Also, some of the chicks on BB.com are short but weigh a LOT...solid muscle...that's what you ultimately want anyway : ))

Laura

I have a medium frame according to the tests (elbow and wrist test), but I would say my torso is very wide. My hips are wide and my rib cage is especially wide. To look at me from the front, I look "thick" around my ribs, like I could lose more weight there, but when you push there it is just bone. Well, and some loose skin. That's one of the things I hate about my body. My bra band size is still a 38 but you can see my ribs from the front and sides.

When my sister was here over Tgiving, we were talking about how my mom says my doctor needs to talk to me about anorexia (lol), and I lifted my shirt for sister and was like, "Look! I'm not even skinny. I still have all this fat around here...and here..." and I was trying to grab back fat and waist fat and couldn't really pinch much. I looked at her face and she was biting her lower lip and shaking her head and was just like "nuh uh, you really don't." I felt kind of stupid lol. I think sometimes I still think I'm wayyyy fatter than I actually am.

Now that I'm able to eat more calories, I'm adding back my cardio and still doing my weights. That is awesome that you lost 25 lbs in your second year. My weight comes off sooo slow now. I really got spoiled by those big losses in the beginning!

p.s. Oh, and I wear a size 11 shoe! Ugh! haha