VSG Maintenance Group
How do you handle negative comments?
Folks are folks and often we have foot in mouth syndrome, ya know?
Folks that have only known me heavy - especially during that weird lanky part, where my face and my chest and my forearms were bony/vascular (before the rest of my tadpole belly smoothed it over) they were kind of at a loss of what to say, how to act. It was much less about me than it was about them.
Were they jealous? Doubt it. Did they just say what the hell was shooting through their head without thinking? Probaby. Could they have just kept their comments to themselves? Sure - but especially if its family - does family really EVER keep their comments to themselves?
Not sure about anyone else, but the answer is no for my family. :}
You get to choose your reaction to the people girlie. Part of what got *some of us* heavy was being way too reliant on other folks' opines of us, how we were, who we were, is it good enough, can we be what they want, will they think well of us, how can we help them to think well of us?
Sometimes - we have to let folks have their own opinions, and with someone who is just a flat out ass, or says assy things? Just smiling, dropping it, and letting them stew in their own ignorance is nice.
We are grown folk. They are not are mama, and even if they are our mama, refer back to the first statement.
We are grown folk.
Honestly ? Folks, when they see pictures of me before? They do not remember me being "that" heavy. It takes eyes a while to adjust to seeing in the dark, or in the bright light, and it takes eyes a while to adjust seeing us like we are now. Its just an adjustment phase - and if they are weirded out by it? Their emotions are their own. Its not up to you to to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy about your choices.
Do not let them be the boss of your mind! *stomps foot!!* :}
Be sweet!
Folks that have only known me heavy - especially during that weird lanky part, where my face and my chest and my forearms were bony/vascular (before the rest of my tadpole belly smoothed it over) they were kind of at a loss of what to say, how to act. It was much less about me than it was about them.
Were they jealous? Doubt it. Did they just say what the hell was shooting through their head without thinking? Probaby. Could they have just kept their comments to themselves? Sure - but especially if its family - does family really EVER keep their comments to themselves?
Not sure about anyone else, but the answer is no for my family. :}
You get to choose your reaction to the people girlie. Part of what got *some of us* heavy was being way too reliant on other folks' opines of us, how we were, who we were, is it good enough, can we be what they want, will they think well of us, how can we help them to think well of us?
Sometimes - we have to let folks have their own opinions, and with someone who is just a flat out ass, or says assy things? Just smiling, dropping it, and letting them stew in their own ignorance is nice.
We are grown folk. They are not are mama, and even if they are our mama, refer back to the first statement.
We are grown folk.
Honestly ? Folks, when they see pictures of me before? They do not remember me being "that" heavy. It takes eyes a while to adjust to seeing in the dark, or in the bright light, and it takes eyes a while to adjust seeing us like we are now. Its just an adjustment phase - and if they are weirded out by it? Their emotions are their own. Its not up to you to to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy about your choices.
Do not let them be the boss of your mind! *stomps foot!!* :}
Be sweet!
You are early out too. People that you are close with or see regularly are the ones I found to be most vocal about my weight loss(read family and coworkers!). Then I started noticing that total strangers were so nice and made such great comments that I realized I'm fine. It's THEIR skewed perspective of what I looked like and what they were used to. After you've been thin for a while, they seem to come around and not make as many negative comments. Except for the 2 SILS! They are a whole other issue :)
