Encouraging someone to get this surgery

Anyone else out there have morbidly obese family members who could benefit from this surgery? I do and wonder if there are any ideas on getting these folks to consider this surgery. There are several such persons in my family. They all know what I did and have seen the results. Hubby is target number one but he still thinks he can lose weight by a low carb diet (which he can but can't keep it off). I think he will just have to come to the conclusion on his own but I think he is disturbed by how little he thinks I eat even though I think its plenty and am content.  But I have a brother and neice who live far away though in an area where there is a good vsg surgeon. Both are highly educated bright people and have seen my results and known me as fat my whole life. I am really worried about my older brother's health and I hate to see my tremendously gifted  young adult neice go through life with this problem. Her husband too is a candidate as is sister in law though she has had a heart attack and lots of hernia surgeries.
I think I am going to use the direct straightforward approach with brother and just tell him how well it has worked and suggest he consider it and give him surgeons name and web site info. I know another family member would help financially.

Any ideas? Anyone else do this? Diane

I don't know.  I kind of think that it is like dealing with an alcohalic...they are going to not be receptive to help until THEY are ready.  I think that the best thing you can do is be open about your surgery with them but not pu****  If they see that you are happy and healthy now, it may get them thinking.

mary

I totally agree with Mary. We can only be an example to others whether it comes to our food addition or alcohol addition or any addition, for that matter. 

I agree i think if your just open and talk about it, once they are ready they will be open to the option but if you pu**** they might fight back harder... maybe once they see not only have you lost it but are able to maintain it they might start being more interested?


my husband could use it too, but i dont pu**** on him, i try my best to make better choices for him, but then he still wants his treats which he gets.. I think he has to want it for himself and is not ready to go there yet.

First I think back on how I came to the decision to seriously consider professional help outside of Jenny Craig/Weigh****chers types of "Weight Loss"

Every time I heard about it, or heard somebody had surgery I always still thought to myself, I can do it on my own.....

I remember 7 years ago being wheeled into the OR for an Angioplasty procedure for chest pains (ended up with an artery blockage and had a stint installed) and one of the people in OR....don't even know if it was a doctor or nurse or what..... Ask me "Have you ever considered weight lose surgery?"

Even laying on a gurney going into a heart procedure....... I thought I could lose weight on my own. At the time I was not wrong.... I could have lost some weight... but the reality is that I could not keep it off just like the 100 times before and at my age I was kind of out of "fight" in the life long battle against weight/eating issues. Maybe I need to re-word that..... I had the fight.... but I needed a bigger weapons!
I guess the saying is..... I was bringing a knife to a gun fight!

So it was me alone, making my mind up to look into WLS. It probably was a two year project before I got serious about it. If I heard of someone who had surgery.... I was the one that reached out to them with questions. I remember my brothers lawyer had WLS in Chicago...... I called him from San Fran to pick his brain. He had RNY and was thrilled with his results and I respected his opinion...... I was ready to get on a plane and have his surgeon do me!

So.... as a previous poster said.... the person has to be ready for it......

That said, a good friend of mine.....we were the two fat guys amongst our circle of friends.... We were talking about my WLS and I made the comment to him..... If he ever would consider WLS..... Talk to me first and I'll tell you everything I know...... I just didn't want to hear later that he got a lapband or something.

So I guess my answer is.......ya really gotta let them make the first move.... If they show any interest, than that would be the time to tell them that you would be happy to talk to them about it.

I think if someone tried to be forward enough to mention it to me and I wasn't ready for it..... my "obese person defense mechanism" would have said "F-ck off.... you mow your lawn and I'll mow mine"


If your like me (I can't believe I'm going to admit this out loud) A few times I've noticed someone in public..... obese and struggling or not looking happy being all puffed out (We all know the feeling well) Thinking to myself...... "That person could use WLS"

At first I thought I was bad for thinking that.......Than I thought..... It's not bad to think that..... I know how WLS improved my life...... I just wish the same for them. "I feel there pain as only an obese person can relate"

So Diane.... I hear where your coming from.... You only have great intentions..... You know what the change did for you..... and now you want to share it with some people you care about!

frisco

Ya I would be very very careful with this one...

Until someone is ready, they 'may' get offended...

They see what you have done, they know how you did it, when they are ready, they will either approach you or do their own research...

If you feel you must say something, I would take Frisco's approach and say to them, "If you EVER conside WLS please speak to me about the VSG or Sleeve!!  I would love to tell you all about it and answer any questions that you may have!"...

I can so relate Diane... it is hard to see loved ones, that have weight issues, continue to struggle and suffer. 

It is also so hard to see morbidly obese tourists here on Caye Caulker, walking, swimming or hanging out with all that extra weight on them...   I so want to tell them, "It does not have to be this way...there is an easy solution",  but I could so easily offend or hurt or ruin someones holdiay... I keep my mouth shut...

You know your family and friends, you know what you may and may not be able to get away with...  I understand how you may want to just go for it, at least you will have done your part... and what if that is all the nudge they need...

Good luck with your decision...

Hugs,

I guess the only politically correct way someone can be approached.....

If it is a true "Intervention"

Myself and some friends some years ago had to confront and intervene with one of our friends about substance abuse as we were seeing him spiral downhill fast.

Now where is the line with obesity and food abuse???

frisco

You all make very good points. I gotta admit had someone approached me and told me even very kindly that I should consider wls, i probably would have been annoyed. really got the idea from watching big medicine, checking my bmi and being astounded it was in the morbidly obese range, going to a lapsf program on a lark, and the rest is history. But i sure thought about it a long long time. My husband told me several doctors have suggested he consider it and he may get there so i sure am not going to nag. But he is well informed about this and my brother is not and he lives 2000 miles away and so I don't see him much. I may call him and talk to him about it just one time and then leave it at that. Neice is another matter. Don't think she would take such a suggestion too well. But she is extremely intellegent and may figure out that her old auntie did a good thing. Oh well, will report back if i talk to the brother unit. Thanks for the thoughts. D

I have a sister and her daughter that are past morbidly obese.  When I first started my journey I started talking about my diet, my shock of having to be put on bp meds, that kind of thing.  My sister and her daughter do NOT want to hear anything.  They talk over me when I start mentioning my diet.  Low carb - high protein.

I have concluded that they want to be the way they are.  I don't know if it is depression or food addiction or what.  They don't even want to eat with me unless I am paying, the last time we met for dinner, they arrived 15 minutes before the scheduled time and ordered 2 appetizers.  I was stuck in traffic due to rain.  They actually told the server they were worried about me, because I was paying the bill.    They had almost finished the appetizers by the time I got to the restaurant almost 5 minutes late.  They ate both appetizers plus a full meal - plus dessert!  So for my $12.95 meal - I paid almost $100, with tip.

They dismiss my success as not being important.  I no longer bother to mention my success.

Di. 

testing revised signature. ignor this. d