My Biggest Fear is ..... FAILURE

I don't know about all of you, but I think that most of us will agree we are afraid of failing maintenance.  We don't want to ever go back to being overweight, unhappy, inactive, unhealthy.  All of us had VSG for any and all of these reasons.

I feel like I can't let my guard down because my lapses will snowball, and my 2-5 lb. weight gain will grow to 10, 15, and so on.  I spent a huge amount of money on this surgery and suffered life threatening complications.  So, can I afford to fail?  Will my anxiety ever end?  I weigh daily, track my food, excerise(or feel guilty for not exercising) .  I've read Shrink Yourself, Diets Don't Wrok, Fat is a Feminist Issue, You on  Diet.  My family thinks I'm obsessed, so I've learned not to voice my concerns to them. 

Am I the only one who feels this way?? 

No your not alone......

First I fear........ fear

Than I fear the fear of failure..... In business...in weight management...in life !!!!

I've said this before....... I'm playing my last card.....

If this doesn't work...... I'm dee-you-n...... dun

That said....... education and knowledge builds confidence. I figure the more I learn about weight management the better my chances are to succeed at this. I can say at this point I'm confident I can do this..... but I can also say I'm very cautious!!
I think the term is....Cautiously optimistic !

Obsessed is just a high degree of commitment.

frisco

Nope. You're not alone. In fact, I have learned that for me, I have to stay obsessed to some degree. In the past, as soon as I lost focus and stopped weighing, I'd start eating mindlessly, and the weight would come back. I'm finding that it is definitely easier with the sleeve since the restriction is still really good. So I'm not fighting that constant hunger--3-4 oz of protein just wasn't enough pre-vsg...but I am still battling head hunger, and grazing and emotional eating and all that. I am starting to make peace with that--I'm never going to be a "normal" thin person. Food will probably always trigger all sorts of stuff for me...

Lizanne

This is exactly what I was feeling when I posted yesterday.  I am so afraid of failure that sometime I wonder if I am possibly self-destructing.  I just drank of glass of wine that I did not need.  Why?  Maybe just to prove I could have it if I wanted.  Yes, I'm only at 1270 calories today, but why?  Why did I do that.

And Frisco, I love your "Obsessed is just a high degree of commitment". 

I'm going to figure this out ... if it kills me.

well, if you are only at 1270 calories and thats in your limit range, whats the big deal about the glass of wine. its ok, don't beat yourself up. of course, i have to admit to enjoying the occasional glass of wine lately as i used to over a year ago when my life permanantly changed. didn't have any for 10 months. should we not be able to enjoy that glass of wine now and again if it doesn't go over the daily calorie limit?   or am i rationalizing because i like my wine too. i dunno. just seems like you shouldn't feel bad about it. lets all try to figure it out together. d

Thanks Diane ... You are right.  I shouldn't be beating myself up. 

The thing is that I'm only "dabbling" in maintenance right now.  Actually, I'd like to lose down to 125 by the end of the year, at 132 now.  I know it's a stretch, but that is my goal.  So, I have set a 1200 calorie limit per day to help me get there.  And, wine does not help when you are losing. 

No matter where I am on January 1st, that is when I plan on starting maintenance for "real".  I cannot allow myself to obsess so much about a number.  But, for the holiday season, staying in losing mode seems a sensible thing to do.  If not, all those holiday treats are going to drive me insane.  OK, reality check - they are going to drive me insane no matter what.  But, keeping a losing mindset should help me to say no.  Make sense?

boy do i ever fear failure. guess we all do or we wouldn't be here. but acknowleging it is the first step to conquering it. or maybe we don't want to conquer the fear. having that bit of fear may be the best thing to keep  us on track for life. gotta admit i have been very worried about mainenance and have feared failure because like Frisco says, this is the last stop. not a whole lot of options after having stomach mostly removed (or as I prefer to say - having stomach downsized).  I guess the answer is something like "just do it"  or "don't dream it, be it" . I feel very fortunate because so far, my sleeve is still doing its job well and i am actually below goal. have been trying to add 100 calories per day and am having trouble because i am not resorting to junk and sugar. but it sure would be easy and i fear the slippery slope.

and gee, i thought i was the only person *****ad "Fat is a Feminist Issue" . thats an oldie. Diets Dont Work is a pretty good book except its written in a used car sales style. got a million of them too. One worth a look is "The End of Overeating" by Dr. Kessler which is about how the big food industry intentionally gets you addicted to sugar, fat and salt. makes you hate junk food like you hate cigarettes and is useful there.

so no, you are not the only anxious one. guess it goes with the territory. but maybe we try to use our fears to get what we want which is normal weight for life. guess we are all a little obsessed but that may be what it takes. we all wish we could be a person who eats what they want when they are hungry and doesn't eat for emotional and reasons other than true hunger. maybe we will morph into such persons but i actually think many seemingly naturally thin people put more thought and effort into it than we think. they may not keep food journals but are conscious about food and choices and we have certainly learned those skills. d.

I've been worrying about that a lot lately cause I can eat bigger portions than I used to be able to eat.

It's so easy to let sugar slip back in. I am good with not eating the bread, potatoes, etc. but I have such little willpower when desserts are around the office, or at friends' houses etc. I have a friend that I can hardly go to visit because she sits and eats junk food the entire time. Plus she is sleeved!

The coming holidays are scaring me!

"don't dream it, be it" 

Wow!!  I just had a major Rocky Horror Picture Show flashback!  Now I have the munchies!  :}  Kidding.

I would say that I do not have anxiety about it, but I am PAINFULLY aware about how casual I need to NOT BE. 

I also know that when folks post that they have gained back weight, I go through their history.  Not to hold anything against them, but because for me - if I had a map that held the pitfalls that await down X road - then wisdom says - GO ANOTHER ROUTE!

And sometimes, folks do not *realize* where they got derailed - they just realize they have once they come up for air. 

Summer, I have 4 books now, Shrink Yourself, Beck Solution, 10 Thin Commandments, and End to Overeating that I cycle through, about one of them a month.  For me - I HAVE to stay ever mindful, and I have to do it in a way that it makes sense for me, you know?  I cannot forget I am not a normie, no matter how I look like one! 

And for me, having automated my meals (eating essentially the same things for my weekly meals, and eating every 3 hours) really helps me so that when we DO have social events, or go out to eat - I have whatever I please (unless - say I ate half the batch of home made caramel I made and am wearing some caramelly love handles!  :}  It could happen!). 

Another really important thing for me is - being aware of the thoughts that drop into my head - and knowing that because I *feel* it, does not make it The Truth, and that AS LONG AS I AM MINDFUL AND AWARE, as long as I keep my hands on the handlebars and keep on pedaling - (weighing in the mornings, doing my 90 percent good choice making, practicing watching my thoughts and replacing BS harmful ones with Truth, cycling through my books, and staying connected on the board) the only thing that is going to knock me off my bike, is going to be when life comes crushing - because sometimes it just does - but what I know is true is - As long as I keep from being ostrichy - its going to be okay.

The minute I start avoidance - the scale, wearing stretchy britches a lot, thinking I can do whatever I please for more than a meal - because I lost X pounds, et cetera - I am headed down the wrong path.

ha, love the music to the Rocky Horror. Llisten to the soundtrack often. Was reminded of it on the recent epsode of "Glee" where they did the show. now just don't go out and eat too much "toast" or "rice".
you are right about being mindful. awareness and focus is much of the battle. focuss and maybe borderline obsessed. whatever it takes. D