I went to the woods this past weekend.  I went to reconnect to nature and myself.  I came back, energized and renewed.  Despite the cold and wet start it was a really wonderful weekend.  I went to the Adirondacks and hiked around Wakely Dam and Cedar River Flow.  It was an absolutely beautiful site.  I don't think we give the DEC enough credit for the care it takes of our public lands.  The campsite was free and nicely maintained.  The outhouse was sturdy and because of the cold, didn't have an offensive odor.  I came home smelling like woodsmoke and in desperate need of a shower.  But I came home with a renewed sense of purpose.  There is so much going on in my life, I am busy being the wife, mother, volunteer, teacher etc for everyone else that at times I forget to remember me.  Taking this weekend to have some time to just be quiet and listen to the still voice inside helped me evaluate my priorities.  It also made me realize that the more I move, just even walking back and forth to the bathroom, the better I feel.  I already have dedicated exercise times to keep my joints flexible and to try to tone and shape my body, but I definitely need to add some time to just move and think.  I am going to begin taking short walks to let my mind flow.  No headphones, or conversation.  Just movement and thoughts. 

    Lately I have found myself grazing while I am preparing dinner or working on my computer.  I have unconsciously popped pieces of potato, fruit and once even a big piece of beef into my mouth.  Despite being two years out from surgery and working hard on keeping healthy habits there are times that you just do stuff and you don't even realize it until, like I did with the beef, it gets stuck!  Argh the pain and agony.....it is a very good reminder to chew, chew, chew!  
    One of the things I have tried to do for myself is to make things habits so I wouldn't have to work so hard.  Things like making sure to cut my food into pieces about the size of the first joint of my thumb. (I call it my rule of thumb) Not to put anything into my mouth bigger than that and to chew it up until it is the consistency of peanut butter.  It doesn't always work.
    I have discovered that if I don't feed myself on a regular schedule, I will get very hungry and then try to gobble my food.  Taking the time to enjoy, taste and experience each bite is not something I am used to.  One of the neatest things though in doing this is learning to appreciate the colors, textures and smells of foods. 
    Noticing the artistry of construction of food is new for me also.  The light green contrasted with the dark green of the two sides of a leaf of spinach.  The kinda spicy, peppery snap when chewing the leaves contrasting with the creamy cool tang of ranch dressing.  Being surprised by the bite of a piece of onion and then the sweetness of it as it gets mashed up. 
   These things help make each bite last longer and be enjoyed more.  Taking the time to actually taste and enjoy the food instead of gobbling to try to fill up is new.  The longer it takes to eat the meal, the less it takes to fill you up. 
   So  what is the point of this essay.  Listening to your body, paying attention to your environment and most of all, being conscious of what you put in your mouth.   It does make a difference and it does make life easier.

Hello friends,
   Someone mentioned to me that part of this process we are on is to Journel. I just need to get into a routine of doing that here as well.
  Sometimes when we have been trudging down this road, the new, shiny excitement has worn off and it becomes drudgery to live a healthy lifestyle. 
  I wrote some things that I want to repost here that I have now posted near my computer to help me remember to stay connected to you all

Things I can do to start a healthier life:
              1.  get a tool to help me lose weight 
              2.  learn how to "live the bariatric lifestyle"  
              3.  use all that knowledge from all my previous diet attempts to prepare and eat healthy, nutritious food 
              4.  Exercise everyday
              5.  Develop and use a support system to help with the mental aspects of my disease of obesity  
                   (journaling, therapy, support groups (online and in person) 
              6.  Trust in the process and use the tool as effectively as I can  
              7.  Utilize the skills and resources of my health care team to help me.

Seven small steps to help keep me on track and keep me motivated.  And don't try to overwhelm yourself to do everything at once.  Chose one and work on it.  I have chosen Online journaling.  I will be posting here to give me an outlet and keep me accountable.  If you don't see something from me by Tuesday each week, post and ask me where I am.  (All except Columbus day...I will be in the Adirondaks and don't think my internet service will be connected) 

So thanks for listening/reading and get back to me with your input.

Blessings
Teri Stoel
banded 9/12/07   Bassett Hospital Cooperstown NY
Starting weight 395  Starting size womans 34
Current weight 265  Current size womans 24