May 31st, 2010.

This is the last day of May. I want to say Thank You to all the Men and Women in Uniform! An God Bless You!

Today, I'm stronger. I live with my mom, an for some of you that's a challenge in itself. It's not something I wanted
to do. I'm here because I have to be. But I also told my family, that nothing is permanent. Right now it's something
that I can do.

Being a caregiver is harder than being the patient. Especially for me since the patient can't remember anything. It gets OLD quickly.

Last night I broke down crying more than one time I might add. This is the 5th day since surgery. An I couldn't figure out why I was so emotional. I called my brother crying, saying I'm tired, I can't pick anything up. An she just sits on her computer and just doesn't offer to help at all.  I can't reach down and pick up anything. Luckily she has this thing looks like a long pistol with the grabber hand WORKS FOR ME 

Anyway, after calling I didn't feel much better, but went off and I remembered why. I take Paxil 20 mgs. The first 2 nights when I did the pill crushing I was wide awake from it. Luckily I have a friend who's pharmacist. She told me it wasn't from the pill. It was from the anxiety of coming home. OHHH, that makes sense I guess.  Even though pill crushing an putting them in juice is the most HORRIBLE, Nasty taste ever. I did it. I've already taken it for tonight.  Juice is the best. But it's done. An i'm not crying.

FIVE days, seems like alot, but I guess with major surgery 5 days doesn't really mean anything. Yes I have my voice back. My writing is still weak. I should say penmanship. That didn't look so hot.

Other than that, I move a little faster than a turtle.

Guess what? Tomorrow I go to chicken/turkey noodle soup, vegetarain vegetable, potatoe soup, tomato soup, cream of mushroom soup. An I can use 1/2 % of milk. I can buy non sugared fudgesicles, cream of wheat, and NO sugared ice cream. I'm excited!!! Oh I go back on my protein shakes, Which I have to admit I miss. Because they are awesome.  I have a huge container it's chocolate/marshmallow Sci-fit    .00 is what I pay. It's good, it's not off the charts, but it makes me feel ALIVE, happy,  3 times a day.

In 20 days, that's my pre-op and Post op. I haven't been to my first doctors appt yet. But I've lost 33 lbs.  I don't want to weigh myself in daily at home. I don't see it personally, the difference, but my family does. So I know it's coming off.

So this week, I have to schedule to see my favorite Primary Care physician, and get my first Vitamin B-12 shot. That should be interesting. Then I have to see my surgeon.  An I have to pick up my new foods and my new vitamins.  So sounds busy, but I get to LEAVE the HOUSE!! yeahhhhhh!!! 

God Bless

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