This is the last day of May. I want to say Thank You to all the Men and Women in Uniform! An God Bless You!

Today, I'm stronger. I live with my mom, an for some of you that's a challenge in itself. It's not something I wanted
to do. I'm here because I have to be. But I also told my family, that nothing is permanent. Right now it's something
that I can do.

Being a caregiver is harder than being the patient. Especially for me since the patient can't remember anything. It gets OLD quickly.

Last night I broke down crying more than one time I might add. This is the 5th day since surgery. An I couldn't figure out why I was so emotional. I called my brother crying, saying I'm tired, I can't pick anything up. An she just sits on her computer and just doesn't offer to help at all.  I can't reach down and pick up anything. Luckily she has this thing looks like a long pistol with the grabber hand WORKS FOR ME 

Anyway, after calling I didn't feel much better, but went off and I remembered why. I take Paxil 20 mgs. The first 2 nights when I did the pill crushing I was wide awake from it. Luckily I have a friend who's pharmacist. She told me it wasn't from the pill. It was from the anxiety of coming home. OHHH, that makes sense I guess.  Even though pill crushing an putting them in juice is the most HORRIBLE, Nasty taste ever. I did it. I've already taken it for tonight.  Juice is the best. But it's done. An i'm not crying.

FIVE days, seems like alot, but I guess with major surgery 5 days doesn't really mean anything. Yes I have my voice back. My writing is still weak. I should say penmanship. That didn't look so hot.

Other than that, I move a little faster than a turtle.

Guess what? Tomorrow I go to chicken/turkey noodle soup, vegetarain vegetable, potatoe soup, tomato soup, cream of mushroom soup. An I can use 1/2 % of milk. I can buy non sugared fudgesicles, cream of wheat, and NO sugared ice cream. I'm excited!!! Oh I go back on my protein shakes, Which I have to admit I miss. Because they are awesome.  I have a huge container it's chocolate/marshmallow Sci-fit    $33.00 is what I pay. It's good, it's not off the charts, but it makes me feel ALIVE, happy,  3 times a day.

In 20 days, that's my pre-op and Post op. I haven't been to my first doctors appt yet. But I've lost 33 lbs.  I don't want to weigh myself in daily at home. I don't see it personally, the difference, but my family does. So I know it's coming off.

So this week, I have to schedule to see my favorite Primary Care physician, and get my first Vitamin B-12 shot. That should be interesting. Then I have to see my surgeon.  An I have to pick up my new foods and my new vitamins.  So sounds busy, but I get to LEAVE the HOUSE!! yeahhhhhh!!! 

God Bless

Well it's been a better day I think. My voice sounds stronger.
I'm more tired than normal.  Actually I'm very tired. An I'm going
to call it  a early night.
I still hurt all over. One nice thing was I found a new way to lay in bed.
Stupid I know, but when your belly  hurts you want to protect it, so you have to be
careful if you have a cat that likes to jump or a dog that likes to jump. Like my Collie
has had training, my cat who is part dog I've given up hope. So protection is they key,
blankets folded and put on you, pillows on top of you.
But to get back to my position, I laid on my back last night. WOOHOO! I woke up thinking
well this is too cool. But I want to roll to a new position, took some manuevering but I did it.
Other than that I'm ok. Hanging in there day by day. Wiggling my toes, going outside to watch
the birdies.
Will see what tomorrow brings. 

Each day looks better. Not as weak. But I'm not wanting to run
the mile either. I so wanted to put water in the bird bathe. An fill up
seeds for the birds. Well the first thing I did was put seed in for birds
then clean out the bird bath and then high tailed it over to my lawn
chair and sat there for 30 min. Sssh don't tell anyone. I was fine. I might
of done just a wee bit more than I should of. Honestly that's all I did, clean out
yuck in bird bathe and filled up only one bird feeder.
Then after I felt rested I went in and layed down some more. I'm trying to be good.
Then after I rested on the bed for a couple of hours I snuck back outside and took the
hose to my car. Some bird likes to leave purple DOO on my car. It did feel good to put the
hose water on my legs. An I might of watered some plants, and I might of filled the bird bath.
But I didn't do anything else and came in for the night after that.
See some people that I've met stated they had their surgery and as soon as they were released
they were walking and getting around. I'm lucky if i can move my body, without dying from pain.
This one gal said she went straight tot he gym. HELLO? I can't do that. I must be the only whimp
out there. I've lost 33 lbs in 17 days. That's nothing to sneeze at. I don't go to the doctor until 7-10 days.
I must be doing something right.

Hi everyone I'm home. It's been the longest week of my life.
My surgery was at 8:30 am. They had some issues, an I still don't know the
gist of it. An most likely will call my insurance co to find out. Still to this date, I have
one problem after another trying to find assistance with this group called New Start.
If I haven't found assistance yet, I know it's not going to be forthcoming from here on out.
Surgery, as I was saying they found a hole in my digestive muscle, they called it a hernia
and said they had to repair it before going on. So after sewing it up, my blood pressure dipped
very low.  Needless to say I had a rough going in, they finished up, I don't remember anything.
I don't even know what time I was in my room. An actually never thought of that question until now.
So it was important that I woke up. No water, NOP no ice chips until the next morning. I was slow to
function, to wake up. Yet they wanted me up and walking, but I had this huge pain in my right leg.
An I told 2 people, nurses or aids, I told. I walked to nurses station the night of my surgery.
Getting into bed was the hardest thing for me, cause my right leg or thigh area hurt it's numb, but
a certain way hurts bad.
I must be allergic to their tape, cause i have redness and one blister i'm afraid  to pop it. Ok so I was released
on Thursday, they wanted me out of the hospital. I was given all my orders, I could not focus in properly.
I should of never been released. They want you to walk 4 times before leaving. So on top of all this, if I didn't have luck I wouldn' t have any my period decides to show up. For you guys that don't have that so sorry. It's life.  So
I can't move, can't focus, my right thigh is numb, i have all my people lined up to help me, I can't think because I still have anthesia in me. Needless to say it was not  fun. I'm slowly getting it out of me.
I'm still wondering why I did this. So far I cant' say its been a joyful time. I can't say anything good so far.
I know I know it's early in the game, and I can do this. But truthfully, someone tell me what to do. Doctor I seen twice, his assistant who helped in surgery who is a doctor told me what happened in OR. Now.. I tried calling that exchange # about my right leg. NO Answer.  Who has an exchange and it doesn't answer some one shake me and wake me up. In the am I'm calling the insurance co. they have nurses on duty there.
Ok It's time for me to get up and waddle some where else.

Hello everyone! Well tonight is the night I am suppose to be in bed, all excited
about my big day. I'm not in bed, and I can't sleep. My surgery is at 8:30 Am and I'm
suppose to be there at 6:30 an my brother is picking me up at 5:45 so that means I have
to be up at 4:00. Take my lovely shower and all excited. I am not a early bird. Never have been
But I CAN DO THIS!! Right? Yes I can, I quit smoking in August, I have gone 14 days with out
food. I can get up at 4 am. An I live with my pyscho mother. So yes I can do this.

Alright I will see you guys when I'm allowed to sit at the computer. Sorry history of blood clots
here. I promise I will try my best to keep you updated as much as possible.

Do any of you guys read this?