This is my first time back since before the surgery on 11/18.  My surgery went very well.  It was painful waking up from the procedure...I was in pain, thirsty, and had a hard time taking deep breaths...but pressed through.  I went in on a Monday, and was released from the hospital that Wednesday.  I was so relieved to be able to finally shower that day.  The staff at NE Baptist Hospital, in San Antonio, was wonderful.  Their care was top notch, and it just made healing much more possible and pleasant.  Can't thank them enough.

My ride home was a bit painful, but to be expected.  Seems like we hit every bump on the road before finally making it home.  Oh!  My anaesthesiologist told me that the surgery would be less painful than my gallbladder surgery, and she was right!!  Although my belly hurt, and my pouch hurt when I drank water, or consumed anything at all, or I coughed (OUCH!!), every day is a less painful day.

The area in which I find myself struggling with the most is my hunger.  I have not had a bite to eat since post surgery (last Saturday), and it has been about 8 days.  I have never wanted a ham and cheese sandwich more!! (Tear)  It got so bad last night that I went to "lick" a BBQ flavored potatoe chip, and quickly shoved it in my mouth the second my tongue layed on it.  The only thing I could think of was my surgeon telling me not to eat a bite of food, "...no matter how good I feel".  BUMMER!  So I chewed on the chip and spat it out (spitted? spat?...either way, got it out of my mouth.)  Did that five times.  It was a relief to finally chew on food, but felt so sad, at the same time.

I've lost about 20 lbs since my surgery.  So that's a good thing.  Bad thing is, I've replaced eating with EBay.  That's BAD!  I need to find something else to do.  

Finally, I'm struggling beyond just being hungry.  My mood swings have been horrendous.  My poor husband has to deal with me, and he has been so patient.  I literally blamed him for MY surgery.  He had nothing to do with it, played no decision making role, never encouraged me to have it, and yet when he eats his meal (in secret, I should even add), I get upset with him.  Talk about what a jerk I've become.  He's so loving and understanding, that I feel even more guilty for my strange behavior.  More than the pain of hunger, and not being able to eat real food, my struggle is hurting my family with my mood swings.  My mom called me to ask if I took her cupcake pan, as she was looking to bake for my dad, and I scolded her.  I told her to call me if she loses her pen, cell phone, shoes...but NOT to call me if she loses anything related to food because I haven't eaten in a week...again...self-acknowledged jerk here.  I hope this is not a permanent part of me.  No one deserves to live with me and my moodiness.  

Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday.  My post op follow up visit is Wednesday.  I HOPE we can start on soft foods now.  A nurse at the hospital told me and my coworker (we both had the surgery on the same day) that a newly released patient ate turkey and mashed potatoes last Thanksgiving, and had to be rushed to the hospital because her pouch tore open.  Scared the mess out of us.  That's what has really kept me from eating a bite of anything.  Either way, I'm going to take it easy with the soft foods...don't want to end up back in the hospital.