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Hi Dave: My name is Patricia Patton and I am from Uniontown PA. I have a support group here and we addressed this very issue 2x in the past few months. One was from the dietician and the 2nd time was from a physician assistant who runs our local osteoporosis clinic who did an amazing job. She discussed the bloodwork that is necessary. I had made myself a guinea pig last summer when I had asked my surgeon a question on protection for a RNY pt who was also menopausal and how I could protect myself. He said take your calcium and I said that is not enough what about Vit D and for women estrogen. He asked me to do a research project and I did. My Vitamin D levels were down and my calcium met nothing to me and there were no benefits. My CTX was elevated to a panic level. A CTX measures the osteoclasts which destroy old bone and osteoblasts which make new bone and their ratio. Well, mine were destroying but, not replenishing in just 3 mos. So, for me I went on estrogen to try and correct the situation we will know in September how effective the estrogen was and vitamin d at 2000 mg daily.Try to find an osteoporosis clinic in your area and  have them speak at your group. Sue (the PA) did a great job and researched the relationship between a gastric bypass pt and osteoporosis. It was astounding the findings over a 15 year study. I respect those who have had the surgery years ago...they are our pioneers so to speak, they have gone before and suffered some unpleasantries and here we are reaping the benfits and improvements to the surgery we sure are blessed to leave in this time frame. I hope this is informative. Thanks so much for the article...Patricia Patton Oh byt he way the surgeon had his routine bloodwork to now include a vitamin d level...excellent!

Our very own MHP, Dr. Kathy Nickerson, is an expert on AllExperts.com. The question is about friendships but it is applicable to any relationships.

This happened to me with a friendship that I treasured and valued. At the time, it was difficult and hard to understand what was going on. Now, I completely get it. It doesn't erase the hurt but now I understand why it happened and, honestly, why it was not a good friendship for me.

I thought Dr. Nickerson's answer is excellent and very helpful so I wanted to post it here too.

Thanks Dr. Nickerson!

Question: I had weight loss surgery and my best friend of many years had surgery the year before I did. We both were successful. I thought it would make us closer. After I lost the majority of our weight, our friendship changed and she became very critical of my hair, my clothes, and how I looked. Our friendship eventually fizzled. Why does weight loss cause a change in relationships?

Thanks for your assistance.

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Answer Thank you so much for your question. I am so sorry you experienced a change in your friendship, that does sometimes happen after a major life change.

It is sad that your friend became more critical and judgmental as your weight loss progressed. It sounds like there must have been some jealousy issues that came up.

Friendships are formed for many reasons and sometimes, they are somewhat situational. People who are in similar spots/situations tend to come together to support each other, so it makes sense to me that the two of you would bond over the struggle to lose weight and be overweight.

It might have been that she liked the attention she was getting when she was the "skinny one" and you were the "heavy one." She might have enjoyed the feeling of being more desirable, more socially acceptable, more attractive, or "better" in some way. (Please know that I don't personally think one's weight has anything to do with these attributes, but some people do.....so I am including them here). Once you started to lose weight and were on the same level, her competitive advantage was lost and she may have been uncomfortable with this.

Weight loss can cause radical changes in romantic relationships too and if you'd like to read more about this, feel free to read my article here:

http://www.drkathynickerson.com/publications.htm

Thanks so much for your question, I hope this helps!

Warmly,
Kathy

I woke up early this morning (3:30 a.m.) because our puppy was throwing up. It reminded me of having a newborn baby again!!!

Then, my sons woke up on the wrong side of the bed!!! Can we say Grouchy??!!!

So, I thought this was going to be one of THOSE days. Then, I caught myself. Whether I have a great day or one of those days is actually up to me. Having a great day doesn't have to depend on someone else.

Today, take matters into your own hands and make it a day of loving yourself and the people you care about. (Including a sick puppy and grouchy kids!) Start with appreciating the people that you have in your life.

You can tell anyone how much you love or treasure them. Create an opportunity to tell the people in your life that you love them, you're thinking about them, and that they are important to you.

I'm going to have a great day today.....for sure!!

Cathy

I've had a difficult few days. I feel very good about it. Some drama.....lots of emotions and anxiety. I am on the other side of it, had a couple of difficult conversations and DID NOT emotionally eat.

Honestly, there would have been times that I would have. Maybe not an all out "go for it" but enough to ease the emotional edges of the situation.

For me, , in my personal experience, working with clients and members, weight loss surgery success has phases. When I first had surgery, it was about losing weight. After that period of time, it was about maintaining my weight loss. Then, I experienced a weight regain and lost the weight. Now, it is about dealing with emotions, situations without the self-medication, numbing effects of emotional eating and food abuse.

This was a emotion-packed situation and I faced it, stood in my own truth, honored my feelings and did it without the assistance of food. I'm really happy. This situation along with other successes, builds momentum. If I succeeded in this situation without the assistance of emotional eating, I can do it again and again.....

Cathy

I've written and published many online articles. Recently, I wrote one that I've received a tremendous amount of positive feedback. I'd like to share with OH members too. Here's the URL:

http://searchwarp.com/swa349888.htm

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach