I'm learning new things about myself....

As I am traveling on this road to health I am learning new things about myself. And quite frankly it is time to change my behavior. I find that I like to be in control(not the leader), of my surroundings. When I feel I am losing this sense of control and all my ducks are not in a row I start to fall apart. My moods change and I become anxious (and *****y).In the past I turned to food. Now that I don't have food as my soother and I have to learn other coping mechanisms to deal with the situation. Yes I know I tend to be very anal-retentive and in some areas of my life this is a good thing but others I need to relax. I also find that when I am upset about something I don't always recognize the true source and then get fixated on little things that really is not the issue. Unfortunately my poor husband is left scratching his head trying to figure out what is wrong.
I have lately been praying for control over these outbursts. I seem to be having them more frequent. This weekend we are going to Va to see my stepdaughter graduate from High School. This sounds great but all I am thinking is I will be spending the whole weekend with his ex-wife. We see and do things with his ex-in-laws quite abit. I got used to this but I still have issues with his ex. We even use to work in the same department 9 years ago. Anyway we are also helping them pack up the uhaul because they are moving back here in upstate NY. I know this is my source of the current outbursts and eating was the old response. Now I tend to exercise more so that helps to calm me.

Just reflecting on behaviors and triggers in my life. Now working on an action plan to not get stressed out and take steps backward.

Take care Everyone
Tressa

Hi Tressa,
What a difficult situation for you to anticipate. Anyone would have a hard time with spending time with ex-anything.  I'd encourage you to think of some healthy self care things you can do for yourself while there and boundaries decided upon ahead of time. Keep us posted on how things go.
Praying for you~
Annie

Thanks Annie,
     I did find out the hotel we are at has an exercise room, so that will help alleviate some stress. But I really appreciate the prayers . I want to not be overly sensitive because all I am doing is hurting myself in the long run. This will be a new adventure to learn from as well because I haven't traveled since surgery. I plan to bring some healthy food and go to the store once there. We will have a little fridge in our room... I just don't want to turn to food as an escape. 

Thanks again
Tressa Ü

Hey Sessa,

Glad you are working out new behaviors for yourself.  Remember to take one day at a time, because we have been this way for so long and cannot get discourage if we fall one day, just get back up again and try again.

Take for example, i love chocolate at that time of the month, instead of reaching for my good stand by Twix or Snicker bar, i have learned another healthier way of getting in that craving that I still get but had to stop and rethink what I was doing.  Now at that time of the month instead of reaching for the chocolate bar, I reach for chocolate soymilk, which is healthier, full of calcium and protein, sweet and chocolatey and fulfilling.

Wishing you the best in your journey...

Thanks Bre,
    I appreciate the advice 

I will make a deal with you , you pray for me , as I have to go to Frederick MD for my step sons birthday , where EVERYONE on her side to include my husbands sister hates me , and I will pray for you and your tine with your hubs x family , I am truly petrified , These women are vicious and have no problem hurting my feelings, While my husbands marriage was over years before I came into the picture, the X still has it in her head that he is her husband and if nit for me , she could get then back , I realize I have control whether they hurt me or not , but like I said ., they are mean ,,,

One of the first things they teach us in Life Coach training is to begin to ask ourselves questions when we are trying to make decisions .. Example .. your angry .,.. your in the car and you drive by a Burger King ,..... You know in your Fat Girl Heart that a Whopper would sure make you feel better. This is when you need to start asking the questions, Why ... why do I feel the way I do ? What led up to this anger ? What triggered it and how can I tame it , Then you keep driving by that BK and work things out ,
I pray that you can get your emotions in check , It can happen , Sometimes the devil finds us at our weakest moments and he let;'s us have it ,, shows us our worthlessness , tells us that it's NOT going to be OK . . I rebuke him at every corner ,,, I am starting now not to allow any negative thoughts to permeate my mind ,

Keep working those anger issues and our burst to control . You can do this ,
Best to you ,

Tink

Tink,
   You got yourself a deal. I will pray for you this weekend. I think its the whole picture I am dreading. Not this weekend but them moving up here. Even though she introduced me to my husband(they were divorced many years before I came into the picture) She still plays the catty games. I have to admit since grandchildren have arrived things have improved. But its weird how she is married and yet keeps calling my husband for things. I understand if it is about the girls. Now she is moving from Va to here so I lost my cushioning there. My husband is clueless to some of the things and keeps saying I have to get over it. Thanks for the support. OH well ...Men LOL
Anyway time for the new me to respond differently and not get my feathers ruffled.
So YES I will pray for you.
Thanks Tink