Thursday@4Pm
Goodbye Food - (long)
I know there are not many of us left from our class on this site, so this post is not meant to inspire or connect with others. This is just the facts. This is how I'm feeling with surgical reality setting in.
Just got back from a weekend in Vegas....and I realize food is a part of life. I'm not gonna lie, I will miss it. Some of you won't, BUT I WILL!!!!
I'm not over all the new restaurants my friends want me to try, I'm not over all my favorite food places, I'm not over the atmosphere of food and old friends at my favorite bar, I'm not over food and new friend at my new favorite bar, I'm no over celebrating birthday's with family BBQ's, I'm not over having a glass of homemade wine with my boss, I'm not over having a drink with friends after a long hard week, I'm not over blowing out candles on a birthday cake, I'm not over cooking a new recipe for my family and enjoying it with them, I'm not over Super Bowl Parties, I'm not over thanksgiving, I'm not over Christmas, I'm not over New Year's Eve..................
What I am over is..being the fat girl, being uncomfortable in my own skin, being left out, being unattractive, being unstylish, being unsexy, being unconfident, being looked at for my cover rather than my content...
This is going to be hard.
I am counting on my sleeve to be my conscience and my guide. The tool I've been missing to get the ball rolling. The thing to keep my weekends and cravings in check. I'm not perfect..I'm a food abuser (Yes, I said it.)..I need this tool. If i could do it with diet and excersize alone, I would have.
I know the feeling of success and health will replace the social awkwardness in situations and food cravings. And I am ready for change.
I know even Kaiser classes can't prepare me for the future. I will have to take each situation one day at a time, and trust in health and new found happiness to get me through my all the things I'm not over. I mean, what's living without your friends and being social???
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! It's time for change, not just words that say "I'm going to change and food is no longer a priority" cuz words are cheap, BUT REAL CHANGE! Whole hearted sacrifice. I'm looking forward to how my sleeve will change my mind set.
I promise to love and cherish my tiny new stomach and never do anything to hurt it.
Reality has really set in.
Becca
Just got back from a weekend in Vegas....and I realize food is a part of life. I'm not gonna lie, I will miss it. Some of you won't, BUT I WILL!!!!
I'm not over all the new restaurants my friends want me to try, I'm not over all my favorite food places, I'm not over the atmosphere of food and old friends at my favorite bar, I'm not over food and new friend at my new favorite bar, I'm no over celebrating birthday's with family BBQ's, I'm not over having a glass of homemade wine with my boss, I'm not over having a drink with friends after a long hard week, I'm not over blowing out candles on a birthday cake, I'm not over cooking a new recipe for my family and enjoying it with them, I'm not over Super Bowl Parties, I'm not over thanksgiving, I'm not over Christmas, I'm not over New Year's Eve..................
What I am over is..being the fat girl, being uncomfortable in my own skin, being left out, being unattractive, being unstylish, being unsexy, being unconfident, being looked at for my cover rather than my content...
This is going to be hard.
I am counting on my sleeve to be my conscience and my guide. The tool I've been missing to get the ball rolling. The thing to keep my weekends and cravings in check. I'm not perfect..I'm a food abuser (Yes, I said it.)..I need this tool. If i could do it with diet and excersize alone, I would have.
I know the feeling of success and health will replace the social awkwardness in situations and food cravings. And I am ready for change.
I know even Kaiser classes can't prepare me for the future. I will have to take each situation one day at a time, and trust in health and new found happiness to get me through my all the things I'm not over. I mean, what's living without your friends and being social???
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! It's time for change, not just words that say "I'm going to change and food is no longer a priority" cuz words are cheap, BUT REAL CHANGE! Whole hearted sacrifice. I'm looking forward to how my sleeve will change my mind set.
I promise to love and cherish my tiny new stomach and never do anything to hurt it.
Reality has really set in.
Becca
hi Becca....your post is a work of art and should be published.....thank you for writing what we all feel but don't know how to say ...wow.....this should be the mantra for all of the classes at Positive Choice. I'd like to encourage you to send a copy to Barbara. Thank you again for your eloquent and poignant words.:)Deanna
AHH You're so sweet...thank you very much!
It was just kinda weird. The light bulb actullay got turned on in my head. I knew surgery was coming, but it didn't felt real until yesterday.Like "i can't believe it" real. I couldn't sleep last night cuz I was just thinking about everything. Before last night, It was just and upcoming mark on my calender. Like when you were a kid and you could see your birthday on the calendar and it seemed so far away, and then one day, you gasp and say "OMG, it's so close!"
Anyword on your progress? Are you done with labs?
Becca
It was just kinda weird. The light bulb actullay got turned on in my head. I knew surgery was coming, but it didn't felt real until yesterday.Like "i can't believe it" real. I couldn't sleep last night cuz I was just thinking about everything. Before last night, It was just and upcoming mark on my calender. Like when you were a kid and you could see your birthday on the calendar and it seemed so far away, and then one day, you gasp and say "OMG, it's so close!"
Anyword on your progress? Are you done with labs?
Becca
Becca, believe me when I say that you are not the only one who feels that way. I've been working hard on mentally preparing myself and it has not been easy. I still crave my frozen coke slushies (which is my biggest weakness), along with other things.
For me, I have to look at my past and remind myself that I was not happy, and then look to the future and see that I need to change my ways starting with WLS. The next year will be a huge adjustment for all of us, but try not to look at it as though you are going to be missing out. You can still do so many of those things, you just need to remind yourself that you are mentally strong and can beat the cravings for the bad options and choose the good ones.
For the few of us who still visit the site, I know we've become a close group, and you know that I've always got your back! Hang in there, and I'll be stopping by the hospital on my lunchbreak to see how you are doing after surgery!
For me, I have to look at my past and remind myself that I was not happy, and then look to the future and see that I need to change my ways starting with WLS. The next year will be a huge adjustment for all of us, but try not to look at it as though you are going to be missing out. You can still do so many of those things, you just need to remind yourself that you are mentally strong and can beat the cravings for the bad options and choose the good ones.
For the few of us who still visit the site, I know we've become a close group, and you know that I've always got your back! Hang in there, and I'll be stopping by the hospital on my lunchbreak to see how you are doing after surgery!
Sian 
"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it."
Surgery Date 8/25/2011
Highest Weight 310lbs - Current Weight 154lbs - Goal Weight 175lbs
Bummer, I don't think I'll be done til about 7:30pm 
I have to check in at 12:00 on the day of surgery for a 3:00 grand opening (of my stomach).
When my friend had her RNY done...she had surgery at 7:30am and the doc didn't call until 11:30ish to say she was out of recovery and being taken to a room.
What sucks even more is, they want you walking like 6-7 hours out of surgery. So, I am gonna have to get up in the middle of the night to walk. At least I'll have help. My BFF (the one I stayed with) is paying back the favor. She is gonna be my VSP and stay overnight on Friday.
Feel free to stop by on the weekend though. I have only told my husband, kids and four very close friends. I'm sure i will be craving visitors!
Becca
I have to check in at 12:00 on the day of surgery for a 3:00 grand opening (of my stomach).
When my friend had her RNY done...she had surgery at 7:30am and the doc didn't call until 11:30ish to say she was out of recovery and being taken to a room.
What sucks even more is, they want you walking like 6-7 hours out of surgery. So, I am gonna have to get up in the middle of the night to walk. At least I'll have help. My BFF (the one I stayed with) is paying back the favor. She is gonna be my VSP and stay overnight on Friday.
Feel free to stop by on the weekend though. I have only told my husband, kids and four very close friends. I'm sure i will be craving visitors!
Becca
hi Becca.....you are SO good with words!!!!I think that you should write a book, Sian and I will help you because we like to write and talk too....ok???? I am waiting for my labs to get to PB so that I can make my appointment with the docs. All of my labs came in within the normal range so that is good. I had hoped to have the surgery during the summer while I'm off but have accepted that I will have to get a sub for a few weeks in the fall.
Sian and I had a good chat a few days ago over tea and I think that you are the first one in the class to be scheduled.....will try and get over to see you.
Have you moved yet????If so, did it go ok????I'm going to South Dakota tomorrow for a family reunion so won't be on line for a few days...instead, I'll be goofing off with cousins and looking at the presidents...we reunion in the Black Hills....much love:)D
Sian and I had a good chat a few days ago over tea and I think that you are the first one in the class to be scheduled.....will try and get over to see you.
Have you moved yet????If so, did it go ok????I'm going to South Dakota tomorrow for a family reunion so won't be on line for a few days...instead, I'll be goofing off with cousins and looking at the presidents...we reunion in the Black Hills....much love:)D
Oh Becca-
You're going first among those using the site, so of course you're confronting the reality first. You are not alone in your thinking.
I have seen a different friend everyday this week and each involved a restaurant visit. Tomorrow I am going with my daughter to the Orange County Fair and have been trying to figure out the best food choices so I don't gain weight.
I was looking at grocery store ads the other day and I realized the ads are my porn. I get so excited to see what is on sale, even though I shouldn't buy ANY of it! Every time I eat something I ask myself "can you eat this post surgery" . I also wonder about socializing without food being the center.
I have been lucky to have 2 teachers at my site that have had RNY and one socializes, eats his portion and then becomes chef or bartender. Another avoids the situations. They had their surgeries about 6 months apart and both are over the year mark . The more successful is the one who has figured out a way to have fun with everyone.
You have been so helpful and positive I know you'll be great! You are blazing a trail for us! I really appreciate your heartfelt statement and agree with Deanna, Just think, you may be the next speaker in Barbara's class. Keep in touch.
You're going first among those using the site, so of course you're confronting the reality first. You are not alone in your thinking.
I have seen a different friend everyday this week and each involved a restaurant visit. Tomorrow I am going with my daughter to the Orange County Fair and have been trying to figure out the best food choices so I don't gain weight.
I was looking at grocery store ads the other day and I realized the ads are my porn. I get so excited to see what is on sale, even though I shouldn't buy ANY of it! Every time I eat something I ask myself "can you eat this post surgery" . I also wonder about socializing without food being the center.
I have been lucky to have 2 teachers at my site that have had RNY and one socializes, eats his portion and then becomes chef or bartender. Another avoids the situations. They had their surgeries about 6 months apart and both are over the year mark . The more successful is the one who has figured out a way to have fun with everyone.
You have been so helpful and positive I know you'll be great! You are blazing a trail for us! I really appreciate your heartfelt statement and agree with Deanna, Just think, you may be the next speaker in Barbara's class. Keep in touch.
Marianne
