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Good evening all !
So most of you that I have been reading post by are currently in pre op liquid purgatory. Thats a Catholic term which describes the state of being between heaven and he'll. I don't necessarily believe in purgatory, but the two-week pre op diet I followed was definitely an in between state. Just my idea of what's heaven and hell is changing all the time. Sitting on the couch eating burito bowl and guac and chips while watching biggest Los**, used to be heaven, then quickly followed by the guilt, shame, and disgust of feeling so disappointed in myself. I thought I was free of that feeling of being a complete failure once I started on the liquid diet. I was going to be strict and follow the diet to the letter of the law because I HAD TO DO IT. After four days of clear liquids with protein shakes I " cheated " and had three bites of oatmeal for breakfast and then veggie soup for dinner. I had a complete breakdown feeling like complete failure. I was full of self defeating thoughts and beat myself up. For god's sake, I was only four days into this and I cheated. Another post surgical friend pulled me up and set me straight again. This is a process and it is going to be a long road. If I beat myself up every time I fall down, this new life will be no different than the past ten years. As I relaxed and gave myself some room to breathe and quit the judgmental thinking, I did great. I actually found out five days before surgery , I was actually allowed to have oatmeal and yogurt and salad with my proteins, so I had done a more intense diet for two weeks than I had to. In the end it was all good my surgeon said I had " a pretty LITTLE liver" and did a great job with my pre op diet. Go figure.

I took my first short walk today and have been doing upper body stretching, just itching to start exercising. But being a kidney transplant coordinator, I know what week two can do to surgical patients. They start to feel better and wear themselves out and hit a wall. I am going to chill out and wait for the right time.

Hi there!
I know how you feel, being nervous and wondering what it's going to be like following the surgery. I was at the store today getting an oil change and had some time to kill so I was walking around looking at clothes and thinking to myself "I will be SO glad to not have to buy 3XL tops ever again." There were some Halloween shirts on the rack, but I just did not want to buy any more big clothes, although one shirt had "Halloween 2011" on it, and I thought for a moment how fun it would be to buy it and then try it on next year to see how it fits! I look forward to being able to see something pretty in the store, and going to try it on and having it look nice on me, and not just get frustrated when it doesnt fit right. And to fit in a seat in the movie theater without having to squeeze my butt into it. Those are sorts of things that so many people don't think about, but when you're heavy, it's on your mind all the time. You're SO right, it will be a whole new world!

 I am excited yet scared not for the surgery but what is it is going to be like when I'm no longer the "big girl" I am excited but it will be a whole new world.

Started my liquid diet yesterday and my hubby said he would do it with me... needless to say, he didn't make it the first day lol. Guess it is a good thing I have some good will power :)

Sending you good healing vibes....  

Congrats on taking this step, sound sliek your determination will serve you well on this journey!!