Thanks to everyone!

I want to say thanks to those *****plied, but even thanks to those who didn't to my post about not losing. I know we each are going through our own problems and each of us are brave to have undergone this surgery.
I would not have thought so ten years ago. My aunt knew someone who had the surgery and I said "well she got skinny the easy way" to which my aunt replied that it was anything but easy-and she was right.
If I could go back-right now-I would. It is a chore to eat. I don't enjoy it anymore. I would rather not eat now-than to have to eat. Like Meridon said, I have a bad day then a good day-but it seems more bad than good. I don't feel energetic anymore. I have odd pains that I can't describe - a tightness in my chest that sometimes feels like it might be my heart-but then maybe is hunger. Sometimes if I eat I feel better, but sometimes I eat and it comes right back up.
I hope that in a years time I will be happy I had this procedure. Right now, I would have just starved myself - it would have been preferable. Of course the outcome to that ultimately would have been regaining all the weight back and then some.
I am having the purple blues....it doesn't get much worse.
On the plus side-my weight not only sat at a stand still- but despite not eating much I gained 7 pounds. But I lost it all back in one day!

awww ladybug..  I am so sorry you are having a "down swing"...  Have you talked to your dietician?

I will be honest,  I don't know how the system is in the US,  but in Canada,  we have a full support team (psych,  dietician, social worker, surgeon).. that monitors us for the next 5 years.... (one month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year etc etc..)

What does your family doctor say?  

Is there anyone that you can talk to about the food coming back up?  Maybe its a stricture or something?    The food should not be coming back up... how are your liquids?  Can you go back to protein shakes or something.. to at least help keep you healthy..while you can't eat?

I am not an expert,  but your  energy level at this point is in direct correlation with your food and liquid levels..

I tell people.. this is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life...  and I just have to say to myself.. it will be worth it....  maybe just not yet... but it WILL be worth it...

Remember.. IT WILL BE WORTH IT....



 

Thanks, Meridon.
I am able to get liquids in, and sometimes I can eat...I eat too fast is my problem. I don't get hungry, but I get feeling sick if I don't eat-and then when I try to eat to get rid of the sick feeling, I guess I eat too fast - but if I eat slowly I fill up so much faster and then don't feel like eating. It seems like a no win situation.
I see my surgeon next week. We can see the nutritionist as often as we want to. I am tired of the protein shakes-tired of cottage cheese-tired tired tired. I know I sound hopeless. I don't mean to be a bummer on everyone. I wanted to be a person that could make others feel good about their choice to have surgery-but right now I am just not there-and unfortunately I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I think it will be worth it. At this point I am just struggling big time. I got all my protein in yesterday and then some-by drinking milk and forcing myself to eat slowly and continue to eat even if I didn't feel like it. Everything went down-I'll be all right.
I think there are other factors at play here, too. The holiday season has always been difficult for me since my mom died. She died on November 30, 1987. So long ago....but still so fresh sometimes missing her.
I guess I like having a place to vent-and people who actually care to respond! My brother, although he has been a good brother for the most part-has not been as supportive through this as I would have liked. I have a friend that is also going to have surgery, and she is being supportive-but I feel like I have let her down with my mood.
I will take everything you said into great consideration and try to be more positive about this-It will work out!
Thanks again. Leslie

Hugs to you Leslie

Thanks, Mandy! Hugs back!!!

 I do not have the problem of not holding food down, but my weight loss is at an almost stand still. For the first week or two after my surgery I lost about 1 or 2 pounds a day!! Now since the second week or so I lose at most is 1 pound every 2 weeks!!! This just seems crazy to eat as little as I do, exercise daily and not be losing weight. Even my Dr. was surprised I was not losing at a faster rate. He suggested I "up" the intensity of my work outs (which I have done this week), and to up the amount of protein I am taking in (this I have also done this week). Still each morning there is no change at ALL! I am trying to not get to discouraged, but I am. Even if my body is in some kind of starvation mode, it can only last so long right? At SOME point my body HAS to start giving up some of this weight-right? Well if anyone has any suggestions on how to jump start this stale, i would truely appreciate it. Thank you so much.

Really, just hang in there. It is going to start to come off again. I have been told to make sure to get all the protein in, drink the water, and stop getting on the scale. It has no choice but to come off.

sorry you are having a rough time! i understand and can sympathise with the rollercoaster journey!

i agree about maybe a stricture?  a swallow study may be a good idea.  are you getting your vitamins especially b-12? 

it is very time consuming to think about food all day and vitamins and things and eat so little of it..lol

my weight loss hasnt been good and it has been tough.  I am sorry to hear about your loss, especially having been so close to the holidays i am sure it keeps it close to the surface at this time of year.

try to regroup and make sure your body is getting everything it needs to stay healthy and maybe it will help your energy, i would talk to the dr about the tightness you describe and the fullness. 

feel free to vent as crazy as you want, i may need you to talk me off a ledge some day!! =)

that is why i made this group, so many people in our lives dont understand and even if they do it is almost humiliating to admit feeling defeated sometimes.   your feelings are your own and there is no right or wrong.

hugs!!

Thanks, I'm seeing my surgeon next week and will share the info with him.
I'm doing better the past couple of days actually. I hope it is a sign of progress!
Hugs back!
Leslie