Fall 2011 Super Secret Clubhouse!
Post op week- 2
Good evening all !
So most of you that I have been reading post by are currently in pre op liquid purgatory. Thats a Catholic term which describes the state of being between heaven and he'll. I don't necessarily believe in purgatory, but the two-week pre op diet I followed was definitely an in between state. Just my idea of what's heaven and hell is changing all the time. Sitting on the couch eating burito bowl and guac and chips while watching biggest Los**, used to be heaven, then quickly followed by the guilt, shame, and disgust of feeling so disappointed in myself. I thought I was free of that feeling of being a complete failure once I started on the liquid diet. I was going to be strict and follow the diet to the letter of the law because I HAD TO DO IT. After four days of clear liquids with protein shakes I " cheated " and had three bites of oatmeal for breakfast and then veggie soup for dinner. I had a complete breakdown feeling like complete failure. I was full of self defeating thoughts and beat myself up. For god's sake, I was only four days into this and I cheated. Another post surgical friend pulled me up and set me straight again. This is a process and it is going to be a long road. If I beat myself up every time I fall down, this new life will be no different than the past ten years. As I relaxed and gave myself some room to breathe and quit the judgmental thinking, I did great. I actually found out five days before surgery , I was actually allowed to have oatmeal and yogurt and salad with my proteins, so I had done a more intense diet for two weeks than I had to. In the end it was all good my surgeon said I had " a pretty LITTLE liver" and did a great job with my pre op diet. Go figure.
I took my first short walk today and have been doing upper body stretching, just itching to start exercising. But being a kidney transplant coordinator, I know what week two can do to surgical patients. They start to feel better and wear themselves out and hit a wall. I am going to chill out and wait for the right time.
So most of you that I have been reading post by are currently in pre op liquid purgatory. Thats a Catholic term which describes the state of being between heaven and he'll. I don't necessarily believe in purgatory, but the two-week pre op diet I followed was definitely an in between state. Just my idea of what's heaven and hell is changing all the time. Sitting on the couch eating burito bowl and guac and chips while watching biggest Los**, used to be heaven, then quickly followed by the guilt, shame, and disgust of feeling so disappointed in myself. I thought I was free of that feeling of being a complete failure once I started on the liquid diet. I was going to be strict and follow the diet to the letter of the law because I HAD TO DO IT. After four days of clear liquids with protein shakes I " cheated " and had three bites of oatmeal for breakfast and then veggie soup for dinner. I had a complete breakdown feeling like complete failure. I was full of self defeating thoughts and beat myself up. For god's sake, I was only four days into this and I cheated. Another post surgical friend pulled me up and set me straight again. This is a process and it is going to be a long road. If I beat myself up every time I fall down, this new life will be no different than the past ten years. As I relaxed and gave myself some room to breathe and quit the judgmental thinking, I did great. I actually found out five days before surgery , I was actually allowed to have oatmeal and yogurt and salad with my proteins, so I had done a more intense diet for two weeks than I had to. In the end it was all good my surgeon said I had " a pretty LITTLE liver" and did a great job with my pre op diet. Go figure.
I took my first short walk today and have been doing upper body stretching, just itching to start exercising. But being a kidney transplant coordinator, I know what week two can do to surgical patients. They start to feel better and wear themselves out and hit a wall. I am going to chill out and wait for the right time.
Stay well...It sounds like your doing great and even though you went extreme with your pre op diet and didnt know it ... it was probably good for your self precetion of yourself. YOU DID IT !!! I was good on my diet until tonight then I got really hungry...ugh... but tomorrow is my pre op visit then surgery next week...I will probably be a hot mess this time next week .... Blessings to you !!!
San
is exactly how to describe it....lol....
