glad to be here

I'm in Rochester MN, with the Mayo Clinic. I haven't quite figured out the whole ticker thing yet...lol. I'm currently 270, heading to 140! And soooo ready to do it. I've spent the last 21 yrs carrying this weight, and am so ready to hop ,skip, and jump..and not land on my a!?!

We have almost the same goal weight! Yeah!

I have a theory (I'm full of theories)... I think the reason we struggle emotionally because of this surgery is that we're going to be meeting ourselves - who we really are. Y'know - that person we hide from the world AND ourselves in the safety of insulating fat - without it we feel vulnerable - and we've built this cocoon to keep us from feeling. So that vulnerability is scary cuz more than likely we don't have the tools to handle it. I know that in my family (growing up), we sure as HELL weren't taught mentally healthy ways to deal with, well, pretty much anything. We were taught to either fight (loud, yelling, physical fights), or suppression. Those were the only things allowed, and when I left the house I brought those "skills" with me. Over the years I learned that fighting wasn't really socially acceptable, but suppressing bad feelings was just fine... it was private - acceptable. So I ate. And ate. And ate. And here I am. However, this time I'm not going to eff it up (I'm a LapBand revision) - I'm going to follow the directions TO THE T - and make it to my goal. I already have my "goal clothes" - you'll laugh but I thumb-tacked them to my bedroom wall! A pair of size 8 Levi's and a really cute cold-shoulder white shirt with black skulls on it... so adorable! Wish I could post a pic!
Anyway - you'll be fine! You'll come through with flying colors and well on your "weigh" to a new you! We can ALL do this - We Can. We Will.
Stay strong - women rock!

In retrospect, this is a very bad time to be changing meds.  In my defense, my list of meds is two computer printed pages long.  I'm always looking for ways to cut out meds or at least cut down the dose.

Qofthe U - I know I hide from the world when I'm fat.  When I'm close to normal BMI or at normal BMI, I have such more self confidence.

You can post a pic to your profile.  If it's on your computer, you can just browse your computer photos and upload what you want.

I'm so thankful I have great company for this journey!

I love your quote btw - very inspirational.

Yes, the meds thing - I'm so ready to switch the ones I can for vitamins and supplements - if I have to take something for the rest of my life (which I would have if I didn't have surgery), they may as be good things!

I'm in Cali - Silicon Valley - you all?

I live in Sarasota, FL - about an hour south of Tampa on the state's west coast.

Karen

oooooo - very pretty part of this country. I went to Miami (South Beach of course like all good touristas), and had a blast - my first experience with Florida - just loved it! Love the Cuban influence - is Cuban food not the bestest? (Of course, it has to be about food huh? Sigh)

I'm freezing my butt off up here in minnesota!!

Don't get too jealous of our weather.  It is just starting to not be a hot, and the humidity is beginning to drop.  'Bout d@mn time!

Sarasota has a very different personality from Miami and the entire east coast of FL.  It's beautiful; so beautiful we have lots of celebrities who live here:  Steven Tyler, Jerry Springer, Dickie V (famous college basketball announcer), Steven King, the Smothers Brothers, and many more.  There is ton of art, performing arts, and all the cultural things where froo-froo people like to see and be seen.  I tend to stay home at much as possible.  I'm not the froo-froo type. 

 

We actually had our first rain of the season - Bad. We are borderline drought here. I do wish we had more rain tho - fireplace, snuggy jammies, hot tea, good music, my cats... all is good.

So my surgery is Dec 18th - and I'm going between peace & content, to basically, terror. No fear about the surgery going well... I have an excellent surgeon, and the odds are in my favor. Highly. I'm not fearful about the recovery - I know it's going to be a little rough but I have 17 days to do nothing but get better (teacher). I'm a little freaked about this: Will I fail again? Will I go through all of this, permanently alter my body, and then pull a Carnie Wilson? I would die of humiliation - my family would be disgusted (ALL five bros and athletes, and their wives as well - and my parents are thin and fit). I've told one brother - and so far, he isn't reacting well... actually, he isn't saying ANYTHING, which is a sign that he disagrees with what I'm doing and would prefer not to discuss it...welcome to my family). So are you all telling anyone? Everyone? What are your major fears? I just wish I could absolutely positively KNOW that I won't mess this up. No guarantees in life huh?