Characteristic # 7: You Focus on Issues of Unfairness (Beck p 39)

Wow when I read ths I had to close the book: Heres my thinking:

I am angry that:
Other people who had a different surgery than me eat any danm thing they want and loose more than me
People who had the same surgery as me loose more than me and cant even eat a whole slice of pizza, sugar and other crap that I can eat just fine
Skinny people who are always stuffing their faces
That I have to exercise 5 times a wee****il my heart is about to explode just to get the scale to move
That I am even having to deal with weight issues at all...I HAD WLS DAMN IT!!!

Sooo...that's my vent. But page 40 goes on to say that I will have to learn to ACCEPT the restrictions and lifestyle that I will have to make in order to loose and maintain my weight successfully.

How do YOU feel about it?

FreeSpirited1....have you been peeping in my Personal Journal.  You know I wrote something similiar to this last week.  It's funny how we all seem to feel this way. 

You know people who think I had the surgery, but are afraid to ask are always offering me stuff just to see how I'm going to react and if I'm going to eat it.  They are some DEMONS and DEVILS!  I never let them see me sweat!

lol...girl!!!! I was sooo uspet when the book called me out!! That is sad that people would be trying to tempt you.

I just read your post about being angry, I am hoping that you mad it thru the day fine. You sound like a very strong person.
I have been having a lot of those days lately, and think that this group and book will be a great help.

We all got to the dark place in our lives that mad us take a long hard look at ourselves, differently and we all will come out of the dark at differently and at a different pace.

Unfortunately there will also always be those that don't like change and will do what they can to stop from having change happen around them. Some people are jealous that you are able to do what you have done, remember it takes a strong person to go thru what we have done, it is not for the faint of heart.

good luck,
Kim

Sad but true - Life isn't fair.  Think on these - you can come here and vent and be understood and accepted - just as you are, you can walk, you can breathe unassisted, you can think well, you can talk, you can get out of bed, you can control your movements, you can drive, you can chose what you want to do (as opposed to being in prison where you have very few choices) - so there are a great array of things we can do that, if we will only stop and think, are much more precious than being able to pig out and not gain.  (And, truth be known, very very very few thin people can even hold a candle to our food consumption when we dedicate ourselves to pigging out!!!!!! - and they don't do it for days and days and days like we have been known to do in the past)

Sure, some days I get angry at the food gods because they seem to have it out for me - I'm a human being.  But, it's all between our ears - THINK - if we will only stop and think of the things we can do instead of the things we can't do we will be so much happier.  Do I do it everytime - get real!!!! - of course not, but every time I do stop and think it makes it that much more likely I will do it the next time I need to.

That's what BDS is all about - making new, healthy habits.

This is exactly how I choose to view my world. I can't help but feel absolutely blessed for every wonderful thing in my life, so it's hard to be upset about the things I don't have. Life ISN'T fair -- but sometimes it's not fair in our favor. Is it fair that I have insurance that covers RNY but my friend, who is much heavier than I was, does not? Is it fair that I had the good fortune to be born in a country where women have rights but other women are born in countries where they are considered to be the property of their husbands? This doesn't mean that I have everything I want or that I don't wish for things. It just puts it in perspective for me and makes me understand that I'm richly, richly blessed and makes me feel grateful every single day of my life. Unfairness happens, sometimes for my good, sometimes not. But I think in the end it probably all evens out.

Edited to correct spelling

Thats a great attitude. I am working on reflecting daily what I can be grateful for. Feeling unfairly treated takes a heavy emotional toll on me.

It is a huge struggle for me too when I feel I am not treated, or more often, viewed fairly.  My biggest struggle comes when I think someone has an opinion involving me or my actions that is wrong and I am in a situation where I am unable to defend myself or my action without making things worse.  It took me a long time (I am 45) to see that this is a horrible trigger for my emotional breakdowns.  I believe it comes from certain issues in childhood where I had no voice in an abusive, secretive situation.  Sorry if TMI.
Can I say that having a positive outlook and gratitude is such a healthy way to handle life.  However, the way you are programmed for decades in life can be a powerful thing to overcome.  That is why I so appreciate this new forum to hopefully be honest.  The biggest healing in my adult life has come when I was finally able to say outloud, often on paper, the dark things I felt that I was so ashamed of.  It is amazing how much power things lose when you can get them out of your head and into the real world.
I say all that to say THANK YOU Free Spirit for being brave enough to say the things that are not easy to admit, things you know better than to be thinking, but you can't heal until you identify the "wrong " thinking.
End of lecture.

There is no such thing as TMI here. Thank you for being here and speaking out. For me being positive can be unnatural but I know through overcoming past challeges: domestic violence and  addiction for example, that keeping this **** bottled up does not work. Trying to do it alone does not work. Unwillingness to be honest does not work. Even when I thought that I was 'cured' of the things in my past, after wls, the food demons that wouldnt die after having my guts rearranged let me know that there are some deeply rooted thoughts feelings and behaviors that I have yet to address. For me this group is the first step.