12 years since my rny

I am back to 228 lbs. this morning. 28 lbs. heavier than the morning I had surgery. (I had to gain weight to qualify for surgery.) I am 12 years post op today. Having this surgery to "cure my diabetes" was the worst decision I have ever made. I haven't felt like I have swallowed food since 2 weeks pre op. In the hospital 2 days post op I ate 3 oz. of pureed food and a protein shake. I knew there was a problem because I felt like I had not eaten anything. I saw people struggle to keep sips of water down. This surgery made diabetes worse because food slides through me without stopping. This is why I never feel like I have swallowed anything. Thinking about my stupid decision makes me feel so regretful and sad. Tri