Struggling

Well I haven't been here in quite some time.  This is because I got BOT and was was doing well maintaining my goal.  This changed since January and I have been up and down every since.  I am now about 25 pounds over goal.  I feel lost and ashamed.  I will be 4 years post op in June.  Nothing to celebrate.  I am going through the daunting task of changing clothes for the season and nothing fits.  The thought of having numerous sized in my closest again is depressing. I start each day with good intentions and lately have been able to put together 2 weeks.  Then I collapse.  Then start again.  Sorry for the depressing post.  I have lost my motivation and feel like I did post op.  I do things for my recovery.  I am in therapy, go to yoga, meditate and walk.  I still follow some of the golden rules of WLS.  I eat dense protein first, I don't drink after I eat, and weight my food.  That is until I don't. Then I binge on carbs.  I know I need more support.  If anyone would like an accountabliby buddy, please let me know.  I hope we can help each other. 

Hugs... In the past it helped me if I posted daily on here.  Even when I messed up. Even if nobody else posted or responded.  I did that for me. 

You may look closer at your diet. High protein can be good... But too high proteins and not enough good fat makes me crave carbs.   

Plus - when you go really really low carbs - app 2 weeks into it is when your body get depleted of most stored glycogen. And that why it starts demanding some carbs.  Adding some good carbs - loaded with fat and some proteins really helps me.  I use high fat nuts - mix of pecans, macadamia and almonds, to get some carbs and good fats. 

I eliminated grains, and most starches. 

I allow myself a carbs "refeed" once in a while. I chose berries - like strawberries, blackberries, or blueberries.  I may eat 2-3 cups of them in -2-3 days. But once they are gone... I don't buy more until 2 weeks later... 

So far that has been working well for me. 

Thanks so much for the response.  I do low carb.  Carbs are coming only from veggies and an occasional fruit. I use olive oil and coconut oil.  I also eat nuts sometimes for a snack.  This is how I was maintaining my weight.  The more options I have the worse I do.  I don't eat artificial anything.  Whole foods.  I don't think my food had anything to do with my regain.  It was emotional eating. I am hoping I can put some time together and get back to caring for myself.  Thanks for the hugs I really need them.