Always thinking Im in servival mode

I been derailed and back on track again and again for over 25 years. Going on and off diets and on and off servival mode. Let me briefly explain. 25 years ago I had WLS very similar to what you all know as a VSG. After 5 years and loss of 170 lbs, I started to really suffer from acid reflux, GERD, valve sticking, vomiting and much discomfort. Unable to get answers from my family Dr and the surgeon refused to see me. I figured if I regained some weight I would be happie and people around me would stop saying I look sick So I happily gained 30 lbs. it didnt help my pain and discomfort but I depended too much on milk and cream foods.  Until Jan 2014 my ability to eat foods ceased. I could only drink my foods. I couldnt keep anything down. I juiced veggies and fruit but could not tolerate any meat broth. Within 2 months, i lost 50 lbs and very anemic. Clearly that survival mode didnt work. The Drs in ER suggested I drink 6 bottles of ensure a day to get the nutrition I needed. So while they were searching for a bariatric specialist, I survived and gained the 50 lbs back. I, nor my Family Dr knew about Revision WLS.  Thankfully a surgeon was found who could help me by way of revision to RNY. Well, 6 months out and i found myself in survival mode. No more acid reflux but now Im lactose intolerant, cannot keep protein shakes down and only tolerating fish and chicken. My blood pressure crashed everyday by about 2:00. I monitored my blood sugar and blood pressure everyday to discuss with my family dr. Im back on more carbs in the day which stopped the crashing, vomitting and I started gaining weight. Oh no...here I go again. I was down to 160 lbs just after Christmas and now Im up 5 lbs. so the nutritionist and I go over my meals and she suggests I talk to a therapist specializing in emotional eating disorders.  So I shopping for someone in my area and in the meantime I am trying to get back on track. I am hungry all the time. I never dealt with the psychological aspect of my eating disorder. Im confused and mybe at a loss how to go into survival or back on track mode.

I am so sorry for everything you have and continue to go through!! Were you given any type of eating plans or phases for after your revision surgery? I had massive sugar drops after my surgery, to the point I would vomit and at times have to sit down even if it were in the middle of a room to prevent from falling!! If I could have 'undone' my surgery during that time I would have! But boy am I sure glad I stuck it out and it did eventually adjust itself. Don't give up hope! Try eating protein as I'm sure you know to keep you feeling full longer. Drink as much water as possible which will also help fill you up! And keep busy! Try to keep your mind on other things and if you can't then keep it on the positive side of WLS. Come here look for tips and advise, look up meal idea's online and start working out no matter how small. I'm sure some of the others who have had the type of surgeries you had can be of more help to you. But these are a few things I have found to help me get back on track. I wish you and us all the best of luck!

Thank you for helping me put things into perspective this morning. Absolutely I have eating plans and phases. In fact, that is what is so different for me since last year. Having a plan to go back and review. I cant always tolerate the plan but things change. For example, have not been able to eat leafy vegetables and really craving them. Last week I had a small sample of mixed salad and it stayed down with no cramping. Yesterday I had 1/2 cup of salad with 3 oz of salmon (from the can) and it was perfect. I was able to be satisfied though out the afternoon with 3 saltine crackers and 3 cups of green tea. On most days I do have massive sugar drops to a point of being dizzy. Because I do not work, I got in the habit of laying down for 40 mins until it passes. And, I "think" Im so exhausted over Christmas and New Years that I am not as busy. I need to keep myself busy but not stressed. Stressed seems to make me sickish. The big different between this revision and the original surgery is the plans and phases and this site. I had nothing like this 26 years ago. I get great meal ideas online but since I have a sick dog, I am not going out for walks these days. Hoping Champ's eye gets better but for now the vet says "No activity". Well he and I are gaining and miss our walks. He has abscess on his eyeball and we are working closely with a vet ophthalmologist. I have a few friends in North America that I have met here and have gone through almost the same as me. They are helpful but not the least bit worried about gaining and losing and yoyoing up and down. I think Im sort of freaking about seeing a therapist specializing in over eaters. But I will continue shopping around for one and keeping myself busy so I stay on track.

Sounds like you have a good system and are keeping track of what works and doesn't. I hope your dog gets better soon! My puppy is on a "no activity" as well for a luxating patella! Not fun trying to keep a puppy from running and jumping! The stress of that and of working so many hours is something I have currently looking for ways to deal with instead of turning to 'comfort' food. Surgery may limit the size of what we eat, but it doesn't prevent us from still craving the "bad" stuff.

It sounds like you have a plan.  I pray it works for you.  Tri