BOT Day 3

7 years post RNY WLS - And Day 3 of my own personally set 30 day challenge of no meat, no flour, no overt sugar, all H2o and protein - tracking all food - and eating 1600 calories a day. Working on exercise as well.

I ordered 10 pre made '22 Day' vegan meals and started them a few days ago.  They are ok not great; but protein centered with lots of veggies, calorie counted/pre-measured, fresh made, and very filling.  Having them ready to just heat and add a salad helps kick off my first week.

 Concerned about my weight gain - going up fast this last 2 years. And sitting so much with 12 hour work days and retaining water. But first 3 days doing well and can already feel some water loss.

I want to weigh 175 by the time I am 55. It's a big goal....so I am breaking it down to my first goal: 30 days - 5 pounds.  Very reasonable first goal. Yet still feels intimidating.

For inspiration, some people want to fit in a dress, or get ready for an event or milestone - I want to be smaller for my horse and for my riding. I compete on my horse and even at my lowest weight for English Saddle Seat riding I am usually twice as big as the smallest riders (they are very slim women young and old!!).  I am very proud of my riding though and I know I inspire others who are large to ride horses and be athletic as 8 years in I have become accomplished with slow steady disciplined work and won some 1st places despite my size.  Now I need to get back to applying that same focus and discipline to my eating! :^)

I do love my body and am grateful for the loss I have already had and know the body I have now is strong, healthy, attractive in it's own right, and very capable. But gaining back some of my weight I feel less attractive and less able and worried about more gain - not happy - don't want to wake up and be the big weight I once was and I know that could happen - so working to get back on track...one...pound...at...a...time...

 

One day at a time - working on my 30 day challenge. Lord fill me with strength or purpose, honesty, motivation, and love for the goal and myself :^)

Alright!! I hear you! loud & clear. I've been feeling like I am 500lbs. although I've never been that heavy, but I feel like it? Does that make sense?
That's what I want for my self as well, my health & to be and feel strong. I often wonder if I had kept up with exercise would I have been able to maintain my LW or be where I am now? which I doubt. The extra weight did not come on over night, but if we could make a wish for it to come off in one night, I am sure I would not be the only one wishing for that miracle. It just takes time. I can't stand seeing my full body reflection these days, because I see the excess weight gain and it makes me sick, how after going through everything to even have wls, & then I go and gain weight back. I feel like a failure, but I want to turn it back around, and I know with effort and time I can do it. I look forward to day of enjoying glance of me in the mirror/ reflection one day. And yes as you said, 1 pound @ a time!
The best thing going into this, is that it's possible if we work at it, each day, over time. we shall see good results. And it's true the hardest part, which you never believe until your there, is it is much harder to keep the weight off! and that is the absolute truth! I just keep thinking about how great I felt back in those honeymoon phase days!! The beginning of anything new is always harder, but over time you /WE will get used to being all healthy and mindful in your consumption and eating. like once before. It's so exciting & something to look forward too. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU! Sounds like an awesome start to slimmer you! Can't wait to see a picture of you up on that horse!

Thanks for your reply LDAYbug-j!

 

Yes, it's difficult once some of that weight comes back; all the old self loathing comes with it.  So disappointing...sigh.....But for me that makes me want to eat more so trying REALLY hard to be constructive and not get ahead of myself. It is SO HARD.  But yes...we can do it...if we focus on a pound at a time and steady slow progress and change back to the basics that we know work.  But no doubt it is hard - your appetite increases,  you can eat more, it feels good again, etc and for me a lot is IS head hunger - back to emotional eating once more, etc...They told me at surgery some day you will be back exactly where you started. And here I am.

 

BUT

 

With a tool. Just trying to respect the tool again. But it's not easy. Honeymon is over.

 

And yes - I need to get some current and horse pics on here!

 

Sending you support!!!! One day - one pound - at a time. :^)