scared, opinions, fear

So has anyone else failed at losing the weight within the "honeymoon" period? To make a shorter post I feel like kicking myself in the butt, only thing my foot wont reach my butt Anyhow so I had the vsg a year ago and somewhere in the midst of that year I chose to let bad habits and non commit dictate my life. I am having a hard time with this and find that I am nervous I totally blew it and now wont be able to lose the weight. Is this true clinically speaking not emotionally? I had asked my dr early out if one could stretch the new stomach, and he said no that the old is cut and taken away and new seam stapled and glued...but his pa had said that if you continue to eat you could? I am so disgusted with myself that I have not gone back for my 1 year. The dr's have been great I am just really embarrassed and do not want to face them. Is this normal? I have a co worker that is down to stick figure but hardly eats nothing, yogurt or oatmeal, She tells me that a lot doesn't agree with her but I cant help but wonder the difference between us? Any comments are welcome. Please and Thanks!!!!!