Just Thought I Would Like to Share My Story and Maybe Offer Some Inspiration

Hello Everyone,

I thought that it was about time that I come on here and tell everyone about myself and my journey so far. I've been reading all of the discussion posts now for about 2-3 years. Next month on the 18^th will make 5 years since I had RNY in November 2009. I started at a pre-op weight of 255 pounds, which may be a lower starting weight than some people that have the surgery. The only problem is that I'm only 5'0 tall. So 255 pounds on a short person is a lot of weight. I have lived most of my life overweight. Before I decided to have the RNY I was unhappy with myself, my life and turned to food as an emotional as I called it "Band-Aid." We all know it's true. We eat and we feel good eating the food and then not so good about ourselves after we eat it.  So I decided that I needed to do something about my life and I needed to start taking care of myself by loving me.  So at that time in 2009 I was having a lot of health problems due to my weight and I was only contributing to it. I knew that if I had the RNY I was going to have to not only change the way I ate for a lifetime. I was also going to have to change the way I felt about myself. So I had the RNY in November 2009 at a starting surgery weight of 241 pounds. By having the RNY it helped me reclaim my life back.  I also learned a very important lesson in that whole process from the day my real journey began after surgery. I learned that you have to learn to love yourself and not turn to food as comfort for your emotions. I know it is easier said than done. I can honestly speak from experience of having to cope with some difficult emotions by living with bipolar depression that it is not easy to say no to food.

Now we can fast forward to the lowest weight that I got down to was 162 pounds. So I didn't make the 100 pound mark, but to me I had achieved so much I was happy where I was anyway. I stayed at 162 pounds for about 1 year and then started to feel like I was starting to slip into my old ways again. I wasn't turning to food again as  I call a     "Band-Aid", but I was starting to feel not so positive about myself again. This is just my own personal thought I had for myself, it isn't directed at anyone. I made a promise to myself that if I had RNY, I was never going to regain my weight back again. So I embarked on a journey again to start loving myself and having a different relationship with food. I can honestly say today I weigh 148 pounds. I was able to not have any regain in almost 5 years. I hope to be able to come on here next month and tell everyone that I was able to keep my promise to me.

So my whole point after all of this rambling, you are all probably bored by now. I just want to say that I may have started at a lower weight, but I know what it feels like to feel disappointed and down on yourselves. I have lived a life of dealing with bipolar depression type II, which means I have depression most of the time. So I have had my struggles just like everyone else even though I didn't gain any weight back.  

If you have faith in yourself and believe that you can lose the weight again or lose what you never did, you will.  I'm still trying to lose about 8 pounds so that I can say that I lost 100 pounds since surgery. I'm going to reach that goal.

If anyone would be interested I would like to help them continue on their journey. If anyone wants to be support buddies I can give you my email address. Sorry this was so long.

Malinda  

Malinda, great story. Thank you for sharing. 

I like to think that s long as i belive i can do something, i will move mountains and cross rivers to do it. But if i doubt myself, even as small piece of sand in my shoe may give me an excuse to quit trying. 

Living myself and forgiving myself for mistakes i make along the way is a positive way for me to live and appreciate the person i am today. 

great post! Thank you! And it is inspirational because it could have easily gone in the opposite direction. We all have a choice. I am learning that each day. Thanks!