New Here

Hi! I have just rejoined OH after having VSG 4 years ago. I lost 70 pounds but struggled pretty quickly with resistance and food issues. It's a long story, but I have been in therapy a year and a half working on the head issues. I have a tool that still works. But I have regained most of my weight back. I'm 45 (almost 46) and I'm married to a great supportive guy and have 2 kids ages 8 and 5. I have had lots of injuries this year after being very active the last four years. This time last year I was doing a Paleo nutrition challenge and doing a Crossfit type women's only bootcamp 3x  a week and loved it.The past two years I have been fighting the weight gain with all I have and have managed to stay where i am at, weight wise. I would lose and gain about 10 pounds.  In December I injured my knee and I have only been walking this year for exercise. Mostly, though, I have been inactive. I had meniscus repair in March, PT in April. Then my feet decided to give out on me. I found out I have osteo-arthritis in both feet. I now have inserts. I had tendonitis in my left foot, I already had plantar fascists, which doesn't bother me as long as Im stretching and exercising. THEN last month I had excruciating pain in the top of my right food after I starting working out regulating (finally) at the Y and guess what....I was in a boot for a MONTH. ARGHHHHH!!!!!! So, I have gained about 20 pounds but have lost about 12 but if I eat carbs I blow up like crazy and it's all around my middle. Give me two weeks eating paleo or eating whole foods, no processed crap, and exercising 3x a week and i swear I lose 3-4 inches around my middle. It's crazy. That's why I love eating whole foods now. It just makes such a difference.

Anyway, I'm here because after working on my head stuff, and still working on it. Realizing that I hated myself at the time of my last surgery and was depressed and got very little psychological assistance because I was self-pay, even though I had been in a bariatric support group for three years and should have known more. I hated myself and thought having surgery would fix it. I was in denial, even though I told myself what i wanted to hear that this would just be a tool, blah blah blah.  What my therapist says is that a negative can never make a positive change. It just can't. Permanent change comes from positive. I have to feel comfortable with myself and love myself. I am currently working out so much shame issues in therapy. It has been terribly hard, depressing, yet at the same time, amazing.

So, here I am, giving it one last try. Integrative approach. I have a husband who is supportive, supportive friends, I am able to get a personal trainer. people to hold me accountable and a therapist. I am giving it my all and expecting it not to be perfect and for their to be ups and downs. 

Like I told my husband yesterday, however, I am not spending the next half of my life morbidly obese. I have young children and my feet are already going out on me? I've spent most of this year inactive due to my weight. So I am not above getting the DS to complete this journey. But I know I am worth using this tool that I have first.

So, that's me. It's time. I'm ready and excited. And this time it's out of positive love of myself and my family. Not out of disgust and hatred. But out of the fact that I am amazing and fantastic and so worth fighting for.

Thanks for listening!!!

Susan

Hugss

Not sure who said that "you can't outrun bad diet".

I know that when i exercise really hard i also get hungry and need to eat more. That works great...but if i get incurred or don't have time to exercise - i start gaining....so now i do gentle exercise.walking, hiking, or yoga..

That allows for slow burning, and with my hypoglycemia, and RH...that do not makes my bs dropped to low...

I used to be very fit - fat person before my RNY...now i am fit, but don't exercise to much...make sure my activities are just enough to maintain my muscles....

To lose weight i need to follow low carb hight fat diet...plus count calories...but that with messed up insulin and blood sugars...i keep my carbs to 40-50, per day, proteins app 80-100 and rest of my 1200-1400 calories comes from fat...

I do eliminated starches from my diet.  (Due to other issues)but once op reach my goal - i may introduce more of them (no grains) while in maintenance. 

I think moving and doing strength training to build muscle is just good for the body. And I like it. Exercise for me burns stress and it feels good. So, it's important to me. I've missed it this year. And it DOES help to lose and maintain weight loss. Another person on OH talked about it was diet that kept weight loss off not exercise. And that's true, but exercise does play a role, at least it does for me. I never had malabsorption so my metabolism is shot. The circuit training workouts burn more fat and calories.

I am not to the point of restricting my calories to 1400, if I do, I start feeling deprived and then I rebel, which just leads to more failure, more shame and guilt and a vicious cycle.  I could post my eating plan, but I don't think that's necessary at this point. I can handle 1600-1700. I love Paleo but it's hard to stick to for the long term. My eating is inconsistent, but I'm also with a therapist who is teaching me to eat more intuitively and not follow "rules" so I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place. 

This I know. I'm going to have to be on a more restrictive, written out plan and then have more freedom once goals are met. And I'm finally to the point in therapy for that to be able to happen. It sounds complicated and crazy and I guess it is, but for me, that's where I am.

 I completely understand making sure the food you eat meets your needs. It is long term issue. Some that we can live with long term.  I am glad you found what works for you.  Same with exercises. I do belive that every one of us needs to find out what works for its individually..

 When i was younger, as type A personality, i used to love long, hard workouts, yoga - mostly Ashtanga... But as i am getting older, i started to appreciate more of low impact, lower intensity, more relaxed type of activities...  

My diet it's super restrictive due to food allergies, gut issues IBS-C, and severe RH. If i try to get off plan it is not good for me.  I still do that once in a while...and then have consequences for at least a few days.  Hardly worth 5-15 min of pleasure eating...i do hope that one day my gut would get better and i will be able to tolerate more foods.  But if not - i will deal with that as time goes...