Losers guilt = self sabatoge?

Hey,

Please let me know if I'm way out there or not but sometimes I wonder if I self destructed myself and gained weight (22lbs) post surgery because of my friends. A lot of my friends are overweight and I felt like a hypocrite listening to them complain and complaining myself with them about how hard it is to lose weight even though I had WLS and had lost over 100lbs. I wonder if subconsciously I gained to show them I was "normal" and struggled too. Has anyone else felt this way or am I just crazy?

Linds

It may not be sabotage but being one of the girls and fitting in, food style and all. Most of my friends watch carefully what thery eat and respect my food choices, and know how hard I need to work to maintain.  

I know a few people I used to socialize with that could be really bad influence on me. A few times we went out they ordered food to share, and tried to make me feel bad when I would not eat same food.  "Come out, have a bite, its not going to kill you this one time" - social pressure.  And yes - they are MO and not very healthy.  I still like them, just don't hung out with them.  I don't need to be put down, and laughed at get eye-roll when I eat my salad, while they stuff their faces with potatoes skins and pizza. 

You have to ask yourself - if you feel you need to fit in - why ? Do they make you uncomfortable if you are too skinny?  Make funny comments about "skinny *****es"?  

Sometimes as we change - we need to examine some of our friendships. Misery likes company - but so is happiness... 

BTW: I have a friend who constantly *****es about her weight, and when we eat out makes this stories and excuses why she is eating what  she is eating, tries to force her food on  me and others, insists on ordering desserts to share, etc... lunch with her is not very pleasant to me. She is not fit enough to walk more than one block.     I learn to avoid outing with her, unless it is shopping,  or going to her house, or meeting with others for a cup of coffee.   I still love her... but....

I don't think you're way out there at all. Fitting in with our peers is important. For many of us, we quickly recall the teasing and taunts of our childhoods and wow what an impact that has had on us for self-image then and now. Food & Beverages become important to us as a way of socializing - comforting - numbing - coping - celebrating - grieving not to mention the necessity for survival. It's all a complicated mess.

I'd say your "normal" in every sense of the word.

- Iris