I'm So Disgusted with Myself

Hi All, we'll I'm finally back and so upset with myself!!! I did the 5 day pouch test the week before Labor Day and did great. Lost 11 lbs. I allowed myself to indulge a little on Labor Day at our BBQ then get right back on track. That was my plan anyway. I don't know what happened, but one day led to another and I just didn't get back to good eating. Then I got sick with a bad cold and here it is over a week later and still not eating properly. I feel so disgusted with myself and I just don't understand where my inner strength is. I haven't even stepped on the scale to see how much damage I have done, but I am sure that weight is probably all back...why do I put myself through this to just blow it when I was doing so well.....OK, enough pity party...I need to get myself together and get back on track...Again. Wish me luck and think good thoughts, please.
Kathy W

How well we all can relate to those feelings, Kathy.  It's not as bad as you think though.  Remember the times when you ( me, all of us ) used to eat with complete abandon, and never gave it a moment's thought of what we were doing to ourselves (or we thought about it briefly before continuing the same destructive habits)?  You did a great job with your 5DPT and 11 lb loss, so you know you can get back on track.  You've realized your error, and you know what you have to do.  I believe you will, and I'm sending good thoughts your way.  Keep your chin up :)

Thank you so much, shelia for your words of encouragement. You are so right. I know I can do it, but I am lacking the resolve or something. I need to get over that feeling and all of your support is helping me so much. Thanks for the good wishes.

Hugs.... Been there, done that. But as you realized - enough is enough - time to get back on track.
For me giving myself permission to do "poorly" on a day or 3 brings all the cravings and bad habits. So most of the time I don't. Vacation, weddings, party - during that times I know I have to be supper good, or I may deal with days of weeks trying to get back on track.
Hugs

You are so right. In the back of my head I knew I shouldn't put one carb or sugar in my mouth that day, but I gave in to the pressure. I am going to do better. Thanks for the support.

Congratulations on realizing just how human you are....we all are. I know that doesn't make it better but hopefully it will help put it into perspective.

Some part of me wants to believe that my surgery is broken and that I can blame that malfunction on my regains and slip ups. IF ONLY.... Everyday is a challenge of it's own and it's so hard when we have to get back on track once again.

Good Luck to you (to all of us for that matter)!!

- Iris

Thank you, Iris. Your words are so true and helpful. Good Luck to you and all of us fellow strugglers!

Kathy I call it the two step dance.  Lose 11 lbs.  gain 6 pounds back.  Continue next step.  What happens though is we misstep and gain 11 lbs back plus two.  Time to get a new partner.  When I do the 5 day pouch test I know whatever I lose that I will gain at least half back just getting back on a regiment of eating regular meals again.  It is a wicked dance but as long as you can figure the outcome then you will do just fine.  We can't stay on liquids our whole life because we live in the real world where food is a daily consumption.  We have to make peace with ourselves and find a happy median to our weight loss challenges.  I am wishing you luck on getting back on track again.  Happy thoughts your way!

Thanks Tess. Your words are helpful and so true. Happy thoughts back to you

Hi Kathy,

I can sure relate to your post!  I do not have enough confidence in myself to even try that 5 DTP.  In the last 2-3 yrs, I have gained back 30# since my WLS in early 2008, after a loss of 130.  I never lost to goal.  After moving to Nevada in late 2011, I became completely disconnected from the WLS community and did not see much activity on the OH boards (and maybe I was not looking in the right places), so turned inward....Finally,  I went to a Bariatric Seminar with my friend, who is now sleeved, and found out about revision.  So I went to the surgeon and had an endoscopy to make sure all was functioning the way it was supposed to in there and no problems with the pouch.  I decided against the revision and the surgeon invited me to take advantage of all the resources their practice had to offer - support groups and nutrition classes.  I have also signed up at a weight loss clinic - the surgeon is getting one going, but I did not want to go to a "new" one.  I am happy to report that I have lost 12 pounds, but only because of everything - me getting honest and accountable here and in the support  groups, the nutrition class was great-there have been a lot of improvements and advances in the bariatric research and logging my food (I use MyFitnessPal and love it).  Without all these things, I would not be doing as well - one thing does not work for me.

Hang in there - today is a new day!!

Louise