I need some help and advice and support!

Hi there,  I had gastric bypass in 2008. I lost a massive amount of weight, got down to a single digit dress size and felt absolutely amazing.  Then I started dating, ended up living with my partner and started a brand new phase of my life - happily ever after!!  Unfortunately that's not quite true, as somehow I have gained 30 lbs along the way.  Most of this is self inflicted and I take full responsibility - firstly I began drinking socially, a glass of red wine a night, started letting food back into my life again (although very small portions and to this day no ice cream because of dumping syndrome) and slowly my work out routines dwindled down to zero.  I know how I let this happen, but I just don't know how to rid myself of this 30lbs. I'm an intelligent women and yet my mind is frozen and confused as to where to start, i feel in despaire.  What i need to know is how to kick start the weight loss again, i need to relearn what foods i must eat and how many times a day to eat them.  I can get back to the gym, and enjoy it once im there, so I think that part will be ok, its just the eating i really need help with.

Thanks so much for listening and I look forward to your help and advice.

Look at the daily post that Tess is doing. That may give you some idea what others are doing. The "back to basics" food wise - includes proteins first and at every meal, no drinking 15 min before and at least 30 min after a meal, lower carbs and no simple carbs, and so on.  For most of us getting on 3 meals + 2-3 snacks a day allows us to keep Blood sugar stable, while limiting calories. You may need to eat not too much - but not too little. Depends of your height - activity level - you may do best if you follow app 600-800 cal deficit, but trying not to get less than 800 cal per day. 

for me to lose weight and maintain my muscles I need to follow 1000-1200 cal plan, high protein, low carb. How high - may depend on your body needs and your recent blood work.

Making sure you drink 60-100 oz of water a day, and take your vitamins and minerals.

For me, it was back to basics...like the other poster said. Protein firs****er water water, the rules about drinking with meals, no white carbs, no soda, no caffeine, etc.

This is what I eat that has been helping me lose these past two weeks:

Still drinking protein shakes. The EAS Advantage ready to drink ones. 17g prot and 3net carbs. Maybe two of these a day. Right there is 34 grams of protein.  Find your favorite protein drink.

Lots of tuna (one can has 28 grams prot); Gortons tilapia (14 grams); cottage cheese (12 grams); greek yogurt (12 grams); beef jerky (15 grams); hard boiled eggs (6 grams); string cheese (4 grams). All this stuff is low carb except the yogurt (21 grams of carbs).

Snacks: usually SF jello and pudding. Hardly any calories or nutritional value, but it gets me through the day if I need it.

The only hard part is that it is so repetitive. Have to get creative with the combinations of what I eat.  And if I want something that's "off limits", I will still have it, but keep my portions down and log EVERYTHING on MyFitnessPal.

Anyway, I hope that helps. Good luck!! :)

You got two great answers from the previous posters.  Taking the first step is the hardest but once you do you will start to see results and feel better for it.  Good luck to you.  We are here to cheer you on.

I just wanted to welcome you back and let you know that I am in the same boat.  I had a sleeve in 2009 and lost the weight I needed to --when I got a plastics consult and and a abdominal scan at one point, I was told I had almost no body fat!  But now I do.  I went from size 4 to size 12/14...from about 128 to 148.  I was able to keep the weight off without trying for quite a while.  My body let me know when I had enough and that kept me within one or two pounds. Wow. Unprecedented.  Sounds like you had a similar experience.

For me, the weight inched back on, I think, with different stressful events.  There were some other factors, too. I need to think about them.

I just started this week to try to get back on plan and found I cannot do the low cals I did after surgery.  Not sure why, but i get muddle-headed and weak and basically non-functional.  I am trying to figure out how many calories and carbs I can have while still losing weight at a good clip and having enough energy to work out.

I separated from my ex within 6 months of surgery and, like you, got back into dating. I am much older -- I was 45 then - and had been with my ex since I was 20! So, getting slim and dating - well that was a whirlwind.  I think the fact that the last man I dated was not quite...into physicality enough (ahem) may have contributed to my weight gain.  I need to parse that out and make sure I don't do that again.

Live and learn!