I'm a wreck

Hi there BOTT'ers!

I havent been on this board in ages it seems.  Maybe that's part of my problem.  I think I need more support.

Recap:

I had RNY in August 2007 at 230 lbs.  6 months later (Feb 2008) I was 144 lbs and found out I was pregnant.  I had my daughter in October 2008 @ 160 lbs.  4 months later (Feb 2009) I had lost the baby weight and I was 127 lbs.  When my daughter was 5 months old  (March 2009) I found I was pregnant yet again.  I had my son in December 2009 @ 160 lbs (just like with my daughter).  Well he is now 4 months old and I'm 145 lbs.  I didn't loose the baby weight this time like I did before and I'm a wreck over it!  know to some people that would be just fine and dandy.  To me it's horrible.  I want to be back at 127 lbs again.  I'm not sure where to start and why I'm not losing?  Honestly, none of my clothes fit.  I'm up to a size 6-7 from a 3-4 and it's killing me mentally.  I don't even know where to start or what to do?  I'm totally at a loss.  I've called and made an appt. with my surgeon and nut. for this Thursday. 

My fear is that I have failed.  I will regain slowly over time and be right back at 230 before I know it.

Please help me

TIA
Ash :)

Now - you are 2.5 years post op - so probably it will be harder than before to get rid of the extra weight.  Some would consider 6-7  a great size, with 145 lbs - but - for you it is not enough.
If the weight is so important - then you need to do what you need to do to try to drop that. be realistic - give yourself 6 months of hard work and see what happens.  If - after you go on a plan of exercise and good diet - you do not loose as much weight as you want - then maybe it is time to check your goal  - and star enjoying the point you got to. (just a suggestion)
remember - crash diet and heavy exercises - may leave you weak and not healthy - and once you start eating again - the weight may come back - as in diets we did before surgery.

Remember the basics - protein first - and water.  Then veggies and some fruits.  Go back to basics. And add some exercise.  Journal all you eat and drink. Try not to go below 800 cal per day - optimum shall be 1200 cal a day with app 100 gr of good quality proteins + 64-80 oz of water.  $-6 meals a day - when a shake can be considered a meal - no alcohol (empty calories) no soft drinks, etc.  
if it is very important to you - you can do it!  

Thank you!

I have been drinking 1 protein shake every morning.  I make it with Silk.  I would like to bump up to 2 shakes a day but I'm worried that 16oz of Silk milk a day wouldn't be good? Any thoughts on that?

I dont drink soft drinks and havent since the weeks prior to my RNY.  I on occasion have a glass of wine but not too often.

Sweets are my weakness.  Carbs I can do with out.  I feel like I'm in a rut.  I need to exersice more.  Chasing 3 kids around doesnt count lol.

Ash :)

make morning shake with 8 oz of silk and then the second one - in evening in another 8 oz.  Add wate rif needed.
Also - see if adding probiotics may help. (the good bacteria)
Cut down the sweets - eliminate them from the house until you are in control over them..

I feel ya.. I was 238 prior to surgery. I went down til 117 and now I'm 138 after a hip/tailbone injury that I am still dealing with.

First of all, ash  YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!  What you are is a human being - human beings aren't perfect, humans make mistakes, humans can correct their mistakes, humans can learn from from mistakes.  So...........forgive yourself for being human (a terrible inconvience I grant you but our options are pretty limited here LOL) and get on with being thin.

You're right, our problem is about 1% physical and 99% mental/emotional.  As we think, so shall we eat.  For starters, many of us have found that going to the top of our discussion page and reviewing the guidelines Cathy has provided shows us a few places where we have kind of slipped on following the guidelines.  I need to plan (and write down) my food at least one day ahead - better if I do 2 or 3 days - that way I stay within my calorie limit.  Otherwise I just kind of wander off into eat eat eat land.

And just had a personal example of needing to check into the Cardio & Cafe thread everyday.  Didn't do that last week and by the weekend I was pigging out.

Also, you have two babies now - a major major change from one.  More time, more energy and more stress for you.  Less "me time: and less sleep probably.  Interestingly, there is a lot of sleep research going on now and low sleep effects weight loss.  So does stress.  Are you getting sufficient carbs?  Studies also show that many of us need more than we are consuming.  On maintenance I try to eat between 135 and 150.  Don't always make it, but that's my target.  Of course, protein and water come first.

Remember, we have the rest of our lives to get back to goal.  It's not a horse race , it is slow and steady wins.  Having said that, I must confess patience isn't one of my virtues
but as you can see lack of patience has not been helpful for you.  YOU CAN DO THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE.  The unusal situation is how quickly you lost your baby weight after your daughter was born - your situation now is very very common .

If you're comfortable, please post often and allow us to share your journey.

Welcome back

First of all, you are not a failure.   Making an appointment with your surgeon is an excellent 2nd step.  You made a good 1st step today is coming back here.   You are on your way honey!  Just stop beating yourself up about it.  This is very not productive and will not help you succeed.  After 2 children and the fact that you are older it is going to take patience and perseverance on your part to get back to 127.  You know what to do I am sure.  Protien 1st, exercise, etc, etc.  Yes you can get back there for sure.  Keep up the good work and let us know what your surgeon says.  You can do it and we are here to support you!! 

Thanks ladies.  I really needed the kind words and encouragement!!!!!

Today hasn't been that great because my surgeons office can't see me until May 10th at 3:30pm! UGHHHHHHH to say the least.

Ash :)

Look at it this way - you have a month of compliance before you see your surgeon.  YOU CAN DO THIS - YES YOU CAN.  Believe in yourself

Bawahahahah that's very true!