New to Back on Track

Hi I am new here to this group.

I am having a very hard time getting back on track.  I had my RNY over a year and 1/2 ago.  The first 8 months were great.  Then when I stepped on the scale and saw that I was almost under 200 pound something in my brain when ..no cannot be... and I have been messing up every since. 

I can eat anything with out getting the dumps, which really sucks.  I do not have a problem with normal food, I can eat my chicken breast every night and it will take me over an hour to eat it and I am full, but in an hour after that, I could eat chips, bars, crackers, lots of carbs which is no good for me.

I know I have to do this myself, I just do not know why I am cheating myself out of being a winner at the weigh loss.  I am also diabetic so when I eat the carbs then I have to take lots of insulin to keep my sugars down.  I have had lots of problem with my diabetic, I have gone blind in one eye, still I keep eating the wrong stuff.  I am aware I am doing it and I am now going to see a shrink to see if he can help me figure out why I do this to myself. 

Any advise would be great.  I need to win at losing.  I am still working out, but I know I would be doing better if I could stop the eating of the junk food. I was really hoping to be a dumper, because I was afraid if I did not dump then I would keep eating the wrong foods.

Thanks for listening, this is my story so far.

Nancy

Nancy, knowing you have a problem - and admitting to it is part of the solution.  Now - implementing the changes - will be the next. 
Do not delay looking into seeing a psych.  You are sabotaging yourself - and he/ she may help you find a reason why you do that.

In a meantime - try to change a few things - that you know you doing wrong - one thing at a time.  Small steps are easier to take.  Good luck. 
BTW: unless you are willing to help yourself - no one else would do that.  So - start today. 

HI Sorry it took so long to get back to you my computer messed up.  I did find a Psych, but now I do not think it was a good idea.  He keeps asking about my child hood which was normal and if I am depressed, and I am a very happy person, and I like myself a lot.  I know my only problem is sabotaging myself.  I know I have to do this myself, and I have told this to him.

Maybe he is not the right doctor for me.  As I feel there is no connection and he is not talking to me about the eating problem.  So I have decided to tell him it is not working.

I know I have to do and will start with one thing at a time.  I am a strong person, I just have to keep telling myself this and find other things to do, and know that it is ok to be thin, which right now I am not, but maybe some day.

Thank you for your reply

Nancy

Nancy. If a psych you dealing with is not right for you - try someone else. 
And if you like yourself - why are you doing that to yourself- when what you do does not make you happy? 
have you look at "Dr Beck diet solution" book?  is is about changing our approach to diet - to answer to yourself the "why and why not" questions, about what is really important - and why do we sabotage ourselves..

That is my problem, it took a long time to like myself but I really do, so this is why I went to see someone to help me find out why, I do that.  I am going to look for someone else but in the time being I am going to go back to basic with writing down everything and making little steps

I will look for the book you mentioned, as I have been reading lots of book lately to find the answers I need. 

Thank you for your advice.  

Nancy

Hi Nancy,

I am new as well and spilled my guts under the tacked Welcome to BOTT discussion.  You sound like me as far as how much I can eat, what affects me and my hunger level.  It has been 8 1/2 years for me and I maintained around 195-200 until I had my daugter in 2005.  Since then I have gained between 25-30 pounds, depending on the day. 

I did not have proper follow up care or support and that has probably helped me sabatoge myself.  I too know I shouldn't eat this or that, yet continue.  I really need to bring it up with my therapist again.  It seems like we focus on other areas and haven't focused on this problem yet. 

I am not working out, but know I need to get there.  So far I have taken baby steps by making sure I take ALL my vitamins daily (low levels on labs) and put down the brown stuff (soda) and drink the water I should be.  I am doing ok so far, but know I have a long way to go.

I guess the only advice I have at this point is to try taking baby steps in the right direction until we get there TOGETHER! ;)

Thank you for sharing your story!

K

Hi, sorry it took so long to answer my computer messed up.  I think it is good that you have kept off that much weight.

You are right that I have to take baby steps.  I have been drinking crystal light, but I think I have to go back and start to drink just straigh****er.  That is my first step, to try and get in my 8 glasses of water a day. 

Second is to not eat any junk, I have to talk to myself alot to make sure I do not go for the junk.  I have to retrain my brain.  I think I am going to leave the person I was seeing as we have not touched on the food problem at all.  I do not have the support at home, I only have the computer and I have to learn to go on more, because it is the only place I can find someone who understands what I am going thru.

I did get a way from the exercise but have gone back to that and think I am going to stick it out this time.  But again baby steps, if I try to do to much at once, I might not do it.

Thank you for responding

Nancy