need advice

I've been BOTT for 2 months now. going great.  My father had triple by pass for his heart 6 months ago and came to stay with me and my family for four weeks. By the end of that time, everyone had no patience. And now my father is scheduled for bypass surgery on both legs because of 100% blockage. He will come to stay with us again. I have a disabled husband, and two kids,8yrs and 15yrs old . How do I handle all the stress with everyone?  I try to take it one day at a time, but I think they forget I need time,too. I 'm very kind hearted----some would even say a sucker----but I don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

Sometimes you just have to sit everyone down together and have a "Come to Mama" meeting:

you know, that's when you tell everyone that they need to be patient and respectful of each other and to stop being childish.  (This is to be especially aimed at the elder males in the audience.) 

You've got a lot to take care of and they all need to get their tiny heads out of their a**es.

You have to take care of yourself so that you can help them, but there is no reason why they can't be civil to one another.  The two little ones can learn to help you a lot, too, by doing a lot of running and fetching.

Good luck, Kid.

It sounds like you have quite a load to deal with!  Stress is definitely not our friend. 
A year after my surgery, I lost both of my parents within two months, and had a number of other things going on at the same time -- I thought I was going to lose my mind.  Looking back, I am not sure how I didn't manage to sit in a corner and eat myself into oblivion.  I just kept chugging along.  Unfortunately, it all hit me later, and now I am having to learn to deal with it.  The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to carve out time for yourself -- even if it is 15 minutes out of the day -- where you can go for a walk, meditate, or just sit and clear your head.  It is when we are most stressed that we tend to just react, and not always in the best way.  

Lynn's  suggestion of speaking to your family about it is wonderful -- have them help you out in many ways, but especially by taking over for a little while so you can get away (even if it is just to another room for a little while).  Ultimately, if you don't take care of yourself not only are you going to suffer, but those you are caring for will as well.

Take care!

The most unselfish thing you can do is to take care of yourself first.  If you don't you will get depleted and you just can't pour out of an empty pitcher.  When you get your needs met, you can give so much more to others.

Sounds as though you may have taught your family to use you.  Now's the time to teach them that's not OK.  If they choose to have hurt feelings because you are getting your needs met, so be it.  They need to learn to respect others and that they are not the center of the universe.  I agree - you need to set them down and TELL them how it is going to be.  They don't get to vote.

I wish you well.