BOTT 911 - Thursday

Hi BOTTers,

No one has posted our 911 so I'm going to because I NEED IT!!

For some reason, the kitchen is calling to me.  I know that I won't indulge in emotional eating or going outside my food plan for today but the screaming is still there.  It is times like this that I don't like.  If I can identify what is going on with me as in a situation that I'm upset or not happy about, then I can deal with it.  So I'm doing what I encourage every BOTTer to do and that is to come on and post here.

On the positive - I've started blogging again on my own blog which I'm excited about.  I changed the direction to make it more personal and that feels really right for me.  I exercised 45 minutes early this morning.  Work is great.  My hubby and boys are great.  My food plan for today comprises of things I look forward to.  So, I have really nothing going on that I can hang my hat on as far as why I feel a little triggered. 

Oh well, it is just one of those times that "this too will pass" if given enough time.  It feels awesome to be able to feel the trigger and the confidence to know that I won't do anything about it!!

Okay, after typing this to all of you, I feel much, much better.  Especially the last sentence of feeling the trigger and the confidence I won't do anything about it!  Thanks for us being here for each other.  Like I say all the time - BOTT POWER.

Cathy

Good for you Cathy.  I find my triggers to be stress and anger and hormones.  Well, so far. Like you, there are times I really can't figure out what exactly it is.  I'm glad this group is here.  I know it is already helping me. 

I have been eating junk food today.  Well, RNY junk food, but not real food. 
Why do I do that? because it is easy.  I hate when I do that.  It does not feel right. 
Protein bars, protein bars and more protein bars.  Yes, I ate 5 protein bars today, and some cheese, and some almonds (at least they are "real").  Some dense bars, some not so dense, but, it is not "real" food.  And coffee.  I know I would feel bad tomorrow - but .... it is so easy to grab a bar and eat it at my desk.  My excuse? the kitchen at work is being worked on - so I had no access to the micro or the stove or the GF grill. Reality - I did not feel like... making the effort.  This is one not so good day.... but - it will be better.  Tomorrow is a new day - so I will start fresh... One day at a time - it is all what I can do.  
On a good note - I ate some "food" today as compared with not so much yesterday.  So far today 1200 cal, and 90 gr of proteins.  Most of my vits and minerals.  
Missing: water, iron, some veggies, and  "real" food. lol.
    

Cathy - over time I've learned your trigger is often some form of "I'm not good enough" (and that form can be sneaky at times)  It's Friday when I'm writing this so want to give you a giant pat on the back for knowing it's safe to feel the trigger because of your confidence that you will take care of yourself - gentle - firm, but gentle.  GOOD THINKING

Hi Happy,

You are absolutely amazing!!  One of the "mantras" that I've struggled with all my life is "I'm not enough" or "I'm not _______ enough" fill in the blank - smart, funny, pretty, thin, etc., etc.  You know!

I am VERY happy to share that I didn't succumb to the wild screams and beckoning of head hunger on Thursday and Friday.  I am SO, SO happy!  It was rough but I outlasted the head hunger and strenthened my confidence muscle. 

Thank you for your thought and extremely insightful post.  You are so special to me!!

Hugs, Cathy

You're welcome!