Accountabity - I need to 'fess up

Thank goodness for this board.  I hate to "mess up", but the only way out of this, back on the road of reason is to be accountable.  No need to read any further if you don't want to; just knowing there may be some eyes on this, though is helpful to me.

Today (Sunday, actually, starting last night) is a Jewish holiday known as Purim.  There is a history involved, and, if you are interested, youcan just Google the word "Purim".

One of the traditions of the holiday (as most holidays in most religions) is sharing of food - people give gifts of food to their friends, families and neighbors.  Some pople give good food, "real" food, but often it is snacks, chocolate, baked goods, other candy, etc. 

I still have food iddues, even at 2.5+ years out.  Still; when I go to an event with a buffet, I have to tightly grip my hands, or go outside to avoid mindlessly eating.  This is an issue I am STILL working on and may not ever totally conquer - but I am working on it.

I can turn away from a great many things, but it seems the foods that come to my house on Purim are hard for me to ignore - and, can, at 2.5+ years out can eat in small amounts.  Halvah (a sweetened sesame seed confection), good bittersweet chocolate, and, the hardest to resist, cookies from a few of my friends that are beyond-excellent bakers

I knew going into today that I would allow myself the enjoyment, indulgence and, more than likely, more goodies than I should.  And I did.  I'm not recording today's "tally" (do any of the tools go up that high? )  While I'm not dumping, I'm certainly uncomfortable.

I know all the strategies here; throw the food away when it comes in the house, have healthy food around to eat instead, ask people not to bring anything "junky"...., But I also know that I had to give myself today.  With some other stress present in my life, in a way it was good that  I had one day that I could "take care of everything at once".

But it's done, and there is tonight and tomorrow and tomorrow....back to planned eating, regularly scheduled exercise, everything that makes my life healthy and happy.  I'm not proud that I indulged today, even if it was planned, and I hope, this time next year, I'll be alittle farther along in my work to gain a realistic view of eating during special occasions.

But at least there is accountability, there is OH, there is this board.

If you read this, thank you - while I could have just told this to myself, it means a little more, it's more real if it's out there.  I certainly plan to be BOTT as of when I'm writing this, and, after all, if we aren't BOT the entire time, picking up and resuming the best part of being healthy is what it really is all about, isn't it?

Cyndi

Hi Cyndi,

I'm so glad you posted.  Thank you!  It is posts like yours that are inspirational and motivating to me.

I think what you encountered is life.  It is a religious tradition for you and I believe the BOTT path is realistic and not a perfect one.  To me, that would be rigid and set me up for a all-outer eating episode.  The most important day, as you wrote at the end, is today.  Yesterday was yesterday, a special holiday full of traditions, and today is the most important day.  Put a period on yesterday and get right back on track today.  The most important day is the day afterwards.

I'm so very happy you made this post as it is so honest and open, and shows us that BOTTing is more than just one day.

Cathy

Thank you, Cathy, I appreciate your support and your substantial comments on the right way to look at this situation.

Cindi - what an inspiration you are.  You have just begun to establish a new Purim tradition.  Enjoy the special food for one day, then get right back on track.  That's reasonable, healthy, and comforting.  Please don't "beat yourself up" when you handled it so very very well

Thank you - your kind and encouraging words only make me work harder on my resolve!

YEAH!!!!! 

Cyndi,

Congratulate yourself on taking the first step. The first step is recognizing you want and need a change to get what you want.
BOTT is the Place to be, there are so many of us here who will actually are going through similar issues.
You can do this we will be here to support you as as you as much as you need.

Thanx for the accountability statement..

Melva

Cyndi,

I do believe there are those days (and yes we need to mindfully minimize them) where we need to allow ourselves just a little leeway. You obviously are holding yourself accountable and are being mindful of getting back on track.  Thank you for YOUR insight! Your sharing helps us all!