How do you handle disappointment?

Hi BOTT Buddies,

I'd like your thoughts on something.  I am very disappointed in someone that I know.  She is not a friend but someone that I know fairly well.  This person has, in my opinion, sold out on her integrity and done something that is more advantageous to her financially.  I am very disappointed and quite angry about it.

I'm not really sure why because it isn't as though she is a friend, someone that I have let into my inner circle near and dear to my heart.  To me, your integrity is priceless and when you sell out, as she has, you have nothing.  Again though, I don't really understand my reaction of disappointment and being pretty angry.

Normally, I would talk to the person directly.  In this case, for various reasons, it isn't appropriate and wouldn't matter anyway.  She is a huge energy drainer so it wouldn't be worth the effort anyway.  I have helped her a couple of times on things that I have very much enjoyed being part of.  I know now that will never happen again as I don't want to put myself out with her.

It is just strange that my reaction has been what it was.  I know in the past I would have possibly eaten over it.  Yes, it has that much of a pull on me which is even more strange.

Just wanted to throw it out to my BOTT Buddies for some BOTT POWER to understand my reaction to a person that isn't much more than an acquaintaince.

Thanks for your support!

Cathy

Cathy, I'll bet part of the problem is that she has affected your view of who you are - a good judge of character.  Also, you have put her in charge of whether or not you get to participate in some enjoyable happenings in the future (on the other hand, she's done you an enormous favor - now there will be a few projects you won't take on and over-fill you time LOL)  Right now you are just renting too much space in your head to her.  There's a wonderful book I think you might enjoy - I have groups based on it which I call Moving On.  It's Forgive for Good by Dr. Fred Luskin.  Very practical, nuta and bolts kinds of suggestions for moving on.  Probably the most simple and accurate explanation for what you're experiencing is simply that you're human - I know that's a terrible incovenience, but for now, we're more or less stuck with that condition.

Hi Happy,

As usual, you are right. I LOVE, LOVE what you said about me renting too much space in my head to her. I've evicted her as of today.

I thought this person was someone that she wasn't because she literally sold out for $$ rather than be true to the truth. I am a strong believer that our integrity is priceless.

Thanks as always for the pearl of wisdom. You are beyond words to me!

Hugs, Cathy