Fallen and finding it hard to get back up again

Hi All

sorry I've been MIA for a while - I've been lurking as I'm having a tough time lately.  I even feel bad posting this as I know all of us have life that we are dealing with and it's much easier helping others than it is to ask for help for yourself isn't it?  I need to post this as a way of being accountable rather than it all going around in my head.

Anyway, my eating is so out of control.  My weight is slowly creeping up, but it's gaining momentum which is scaring me.  I know what I should be doing, I keep starting over, but trip up before I've got going.  My downfall is snacking, so by the time I get to dinner in the evening, I know I'm way over on food, so don't eat a good proper meal, which then perpetuates the problem them next day I think.  I made it to 9am this yesterday before falling!  That's only 2 hours.

If I look at it all objectively I can see what I am doing to myself and where the problems lie.  The hard part is putting it into practice - saying no to the cookies and cake in the office, when I'm stressed out - I 'know' that eating is a short term feel good and won't reduce my work load, but why do I keep resorting to it?

And when I get home I hit the quick fix easy grab snacks.

OK, I'm going to be kind to myself, I do have times when I make a good choice - breakfast and lunch are always good.  I have started having an apple with a spoon of peanut butter for a snack instead of chips.   So I have the ability to make the right choice, so why do I not always do it? 

Thanks for listening, I know you guys understand, and forgive me for my pity party.  I'm off now to write down a plan so I can work my way through this. Today I am going to make it through til at least 3 hours, take it one step at a time and build on my sucess.  I need to get organised and stop replying on my willpower because experience should have taught me that it is not enough.  I will draw a line under this, be kind to myself when I fall, but keep getting up - I CANNOT GIVE UP.....I am too precious to allow that.

The "why" is - because you are human and we humans aren't perfect.   The biggest problem with pity parties is that we tend to serve refreshments.

Take it 5 minutes at a time - and celebrate your success at the end of EVERY 5 minutes.  If you should get off track - start the next 5-minute countdown immediately.

Take a pepper shakker to work with you.  If you grab a "baddie"  (that's what we need to call them, not "goodies") immediately head for your desk and cover it with pepper - so much pepper you wouldn't even THINK of eating it.

Wear tight clothes - not loose ones that stretch.

Be your "moma"  When you say "no" mean it.  Sometimes we just have to mind us just like we expect our kids to mind us.

You can do this.  I believe in you.  Now, won't you please join me and believe in yourself?

Have a wonderful day to celebrate and DO NOT LURK!!!!  When we are struggling is the time we MOST need to post.

Thanks so much Happy.  There are some great ideas here.

It is so self defeating to hide when we need support isn't it - that's the time when we need others the most - duh (said in a very Homer Simpson way!!!!)

Pity party over

Ruth - all I can say is YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruth,
It's good to see you!  We've all been where you are, don't beat yourself up.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!  You are doing the right thing in giving yourself small steps and deep breaths.  Keep planning and posting.

Deb

Hi Deb

thank you for the support - it is so easy to think I am on my own, when all the support I need is just a mouse click away!  Today was a much better day emotions wise, if not eating wise, but I'll take it one day at a time and not beat myself up.

Ruth

Hi Ruth,
You have been missed.  When we get on that slippery patch of ice, whether we jump on it ourselves or slide into it before we know it, its hard to get off.  Been there done that, not too many days ago myself. 
I find that if I post anyway, air my dirty laundry.  I get it washed.  You will get it back together.  That's why we are here.  Take care and look forward to you continuing to post and succeed.

Z

Hi Z

ha!  I love the analogy of dirty laundry, so true and so helpful.  Lots of washing coming the way of BOTT....

Thanks for the support

Ruth

  Here is a hug for you.  You know what I always say...NEVER GIVE UP!

We have all been where you are - just know you don't have to stay there!

Thank you Trudylea - I needed that hug!  I've had a much better day today and have gotten myself back up, and had a much better attitude towards and about myself.